Mindfulness Skills And Avoiding Abuse

Parenting often provides daily challenging experiences as well as some questionable parenting reactions to our child. For example, everyone is buckled in the car ready to go and one child announces they need to go back inside to go potty. After getting 3 minutes down the road another child points out that he doesnt have any shoes on. At this point you are running late and feeling your anxiety level increase. Or you are having a rough morning, the kids are very needy and making lots of noise. Your reaction is an unhealthy one and make create abuse. Although in the big picture these events are minor, they still cause irritation, wrong reactions that are hurtful or dangerous.

As a parent, you will need to react appropriately to any and all situations. But well.....our bodies and minds act weird and sometimes we react in a very unhealthy way for our child. Somethings our bodies reactions are:

**releasing adrenaline

**increasing your heart rate

**reducing your ability to problem solve or think creatively

**anger building up

**impulsivness

These physiological responses would be appropriate if you were facing a life or death situation but arent appropriate for forgotten shoes or a last minute potty run. Practicing mindfulness skills will help you live in the present moment and remain peaceful and relaxed. They will reduce your anxiety levels and help enhance concentration. No just doing mindfulness DOES NOT stop abuse. But it lowers our reactions and gets us to STOP our initail reactions. Consider the following skills which will allow you to develop the skills needed for those unexpected minor but stressful situations. Practice the skills when you are not in a stressful moment so they become automatic.

A. Try look at the world from the point of view of your child. Attempt to do this every day. Let go of your own world point of view for at least a few minutes.

B. Consider how you sound and appear to your child. What would it be like to have yourself as a parent? Does this influence how you want to relate to your child (what you say and how you say it)?

C.Look for ways to balance your needs and the needs of your child. Consider being selfless, where possible, and putting the needs of your child over your own.

D. Listen. Focus without distractions such as TV, social media, and phones. Be fully engaged as you listen to the stories your child tells.

E. Attemp to see your child as perfect just as they are. Accept them even when it is difficult.

F. Focus on what your expectations are for your child and how you communicate those expectations. Do you have their best interest in mind?

G. Attempt the mindful walk experiment. While walking pay attention to your breathing and the way the ground feels under your feet. Observe your surroundings. Let other thoughts go and focus on the sights and feelings of the moment.

H. Focus on your breathing. With practice this will become an automatic skill that you will just start doing in stressful situation.

I even know as a parent of a teen and very soon to be an adult is and can be very hard. Yes even I make some mistakes maybe I crossed some boundaries idk. Thing is daily I try over and over again and again. I watch for those "sparks" that will lead to something very bad. I do hope this helps out some parents and we can prevent 1 more kid of abuse

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