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Mindfulness-Your Time-Out from Anger

User Profile: RumpleSteeleSkin
RumpleSteeleSkin June 26th, 2017

Anger is a natural, though sometimes unwanted or irrational, emotion that everybody experiences from time to time. Anger is a primary emotion, natural emotion which has evolved as a way of surviving and protecting yourself from what is considered a wrong-doing.

Anger can be healthy if the emotion is controlled and used sparingly. Mindfulness can help cool the unwanted, unhealthy anger. When is anger helpful? Healthy anger is good if youre being treated unfairly, and need to become angry to ensure youre treated justly and with respect. However, being out of control when youre angry can cause tremendous harm both to yourself and to your relationships with others.

How then can MINDFULNESS help me with my ANGER?

1, Become aware of the physical sensation of anger in your body. Notice the sensations in your stomach, chest and face. Become aware of your rapid heart and breathing rate. Observe if your fists or jaw are clenched.

2. Breathe Breathe into the physical sensations of your body. Close your eyes if you want to. You may find counting out ten breaths helpful. Imagine the breath entering your nose into your belly, and as you breathe out, imagine the breath going out of your fingers and toes, if you find this useful.

3. Continue to stay with the sensations as best you can. Bring a sense of kindness and gentleness to your feelings of anger. Try to see the anger as an opportunity to understand about the feeling, how the burning rises up in your being, and how the breath may or may not have a cooling effect on the flame within you.

4. Notice you thoughts. Thoughts like ‘its not fair or ‘Im not having this feed anger. Notice what effect you have by letting go of these thoughts. If you cant let go of the thoughts, which is common, continue to watch the way thoughts and feelings feed each other.

5. Communicate. As soon as the main force of your anger has dissipated, you may need to communicate your feelings with the other person. Begin with ‘I statements instead of ‘you accusations. As you continue to communicate, stay aware and awake to your own feelings, and let go of any aggression if you can – less aggression and more honesty are more likely to lead to a harmonious and productive conversation and result.

Here are a few mindfulness exercises on anger:

https://youtu.be/Ec6GYKxNMds

https://youtu.be/BsVq5R_F6RA

Questions

1. What are some things that make you angry? How do you react?

2. How do you phusically feel with being angry?

3. If you listened to 1 of those mindfulness exercise above, how do you feel now? Did you get any ideas on some mindfulness skills you can use when you get angry?

4. Are there any skills or things you do that help you feel better/calmer when you are anger?

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User Profile: sensitiveShade5337
sensitiveShade5337 June 26th, 2017

@RumpleSteeleSkin

yes rumple love this post!! Great job and thanks for making my suggestion true! :)

3 replies
User Profile: RumpleSteeleSkin
RumpleSteeleSkin OP June 26th, 2017

@sensitiveShade5337

Hiya Shade nice to see you heresmiley Anger is a big think with many, also to bring in mindfulness is important. I am thankful that you share on this. Did anything in this post get you thinking on stuff? Anything helpful for you?

2 replies
User Profile: sensitiveShade5337
sensitiveShade5337 June 26th, 2017

@RumpleSteeleSkin

Yes the healthy anger which I didnt know about! Those 5 steps help a lot I can guide myself when Im angry.

1 reply
User Profile: RumpleSteeleSkin
RumpleSteeleSkin OP June 26th, 2017

@sensitiveShade5337

Shade Im glad that you found this helpful. Yes as I was looking up alot of anger things and mindfulness I wrote down a few things for myself. I do hope these skills can really be helpful for youheart

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User Profile: MKJart
MKJart June 26th, 2017

@RumpleSteeleSkin

Thanks Rumple, These are great suggestions. I'm still trying to recognize anger and express it in a healthy way.

3 replies
User Profile: RumpleSteeleSkin
RumpleSteeleSkin OP June 26th, 2017

@MKJart

Hi MKJ nice to see yousmiley Recognizing your anger is a big step in wanting to learn how to live with it-not control it- but also on ways to calm yourself and not react bad. Is there anything I can help you with on this?

2 replies
User Profile: MKJart
MKJart June 26th, 2017

@RumpleSteeleSkin

Thank you for your kind offer. I'm trying different things from throwing pottery (I have a few sculpture pieces that hadn't turned out), writing, flinging paint etc. Just haven't yet found what works best for me yet. Though breaking the pottery was pretty cathartic. I'm learning to recognize the sensations in my solar plexus and stomach and other physiological things like raised heart rate, clenched jaw, tightness in shoulders. Anger feels horrible inside of me and scares me, releasing it feels overwhelming. Any suggestions are welcome.

1 reply
User Profile: RumpleSteeleSkin
RumpleSteeleSkin OP June 27th, 2017

@MKJart

Hi MKL nice to see you. Yes anger is a very uncomfortable unpredictable feeling to have. How to channel it is a skill. Im glad to hear at least throwing pottery has helped a bit. Keep trying things that helps you.

Maybe if you look on this link you may find some things that may help you out. https://www.apa.org/helpcenter/controlling-anger.aspx

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User Profile: RayneStorm
RayneStorm June 27th, 2017

@RumpleSteeleSkin

Great post! A lot of things make me angry. Just last week, I had a bit of a BPD rage episode (directed toward myself), and went into the bathroom and threw a little tantrum (there was no one there which was why I felt safe to do that). When I'm in these moments, it's as if my brain shuts down, and all I want to do is hurt myself. I can never take my anger out on anyone, just myself. I'm unable to control myself, as my emotional regulation sucks. Thankfully, through therapy and DBT, I'm learning to regulate my emotions more. But it's a slow process.

1 reply
User Profile: RumpleSteeleSkin
RumpleSteeleSkin OP June 28th, 2017

@RayneStorm

Hi there Rayne good to see you! Having the past still come back and haunt us is alot to deal with-and anger too. I do understand you on what you shared here. I am glad however you felt safe handling it and NOT hurting yourself. It sounds as if you leaned a little how to not take it out on you but an object or 2. Understanding anger and where it comes from can be hard to get a hold of. But some simple skills or things you try that keeps you a bit distracted as well as calm is good.DBT is a great class to do and to learn some great skills. I do hope that you learn many as to how to lesson your anger, and not to want to focus it back on you. Thank you for sharing this heresmiley

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User Profile: Ady23
Ady23 June 27th, 2017

When I become angry I usually react in a intense way. I physically feel tightness in my chest and essentially 'see' red everywhere. Things that usually wouldn't make me angry begin to. I appreciate the exercises that you gave to listen to. It is great to know that when I get angry I can find midnfulness videos to watch that can calm me down so that I can work through the problem with a level mind. My biggest problem is holding my anger in until I explode. I think working through these videos when I feel anger will help me not to overflow with anger. :) thanks rumple for the info <3

1 reply
User Profile: soulsings
soulsings June 28th, 2017

@Ady23 I am sorry you feel that anger because I know how yucky it feels when I react in anger. Channeling that energy and creating a buffer with mindfulness is challenging but doable.

You could have fooled me. You really seem very cool headed in sessions. I guess I am that way too. I do not show the anger unless it is my significant other LOL. But I am trying to avoid that as well.

Thanks for bringing this up Rumple and Ady. It helped me see my own behavior in the mirror.

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