Mindfulness-Your Time-Out from Anger

Anger is a natural, though sometimes unwanted or irrational, emotion that everybody experiences from time to time. Anger is a primary emotion, natural emotion which has evolved as a way of surviving and protecting yourself from what is considered a wrong-doing.

Anger can be healthy if the emotion is controlled and used sparingly. Mindfulness can help cool the unwanted, unhealthy anger. When is anger helpful? Healthy anger is good if youre being treated unfairly, and need to become angry to ensure youre treated justly and with respect. However, being out of control when youre angry can cause tremendous harm both to yourself and to your relationships with others.

How then can MINDFULNESS help me with my ANGER?

1, Become aware of the physical sensation of anger in your body. Notice the sensations in your stomach, chest and face. Become aware of your rapid heart and breathing rate. Observe if your fists or jaw are clenched.

2. Breathe Breathe into the physical sensations of your body. Close your eyes if you want to. You may find counting out ten breaths helpful. Imagine the breath entering your nose into your belly, and as you breathe out, imagine the breath going out of your fingers and toes, if you find this useful.

3. Continue to stay with the sensations as best you can. Bring a sense of kindness and gentleness to your feelings of anger. Try to see the anger as an opportunity to understand about the feeling, how the burning rises up in your being, and how the breath may or may not have a cooling effect on the flame within you.

4. Notice you thoughts. Thoughts like ‘its not fair or ‘Im not having this feed anger. Notice what effect you have by letting go of these thoughts. If you cant let go of the thoughts, which is common, continue to watch the way thoughts and feelings feed each other.

5. Communicate. As soon as the main force of your anger has dissipated, you may need to communicate your feelings with the other person. Begin with ‘I statements instead of ‘you accusations. As you continue to communicate, stay aware and awake to your own feelings, and let go of any aggression if you can – less aggression and more honesty are more likely to lead to a harmonious and productive conversation and result.

Here are a few mindfulness exercises on anger:

https://youtu.be/Ec6GYKxNMds

https://youtu.be/BsVq5R_F6RA

Questions

1. What are some things that make you angry? How do you react?

2. How do you phusically feel with being angry?

3. If you listened to 1 of those mindfulness exercise above, how do you feel now? Did you get any ideas on some mindfulness skills you can use when you get angry?

4. Are there any skills or things you do that help you feel better/calmer when you are anger?

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