Struggling
Hey guys! I’m new here.. and I hate to be a so called “Debbie downer” on my first post. I literally just googled support groups and this one was the first one to pop up. I’m struggling. I’m struggling with life, my marriage, and being a parent. I wake up and just don’t want to do it anymore. My husband and I have 3 kids. I stay at home with them 24/7 and my husband works. We have no help from family. So I don’t ever get a break.. I know that sounds so selfish and I should be grateful. But even when my husband is home I don’t get a break. He literally sees me struggling doing everything with the kids and he doesn’t even offer to help me. I don’t want to seem like im bashing him because I’m not. I guess I just don’t understand. Anytime I see him frustrated I try to do what I can to make his life easier. And when he’s home it feels like he’s not even here. Stuck on his phone or the game. Our kids are very close in age and extremely active. So I am constantly on edge keeping them out of stuff and dealing with tantrums.. I guess I just need to vent but also find support. I have no one.. I don’t have time for friends because it’s too much to take all three kids out and work around everyone else’s schedule..
@willingBanana6146 Welcome to 7 Cups! I am so glad you joined the community and can share a bit of what is overwhelming you as doing so much alone must be very tiring. I do recommend the live group chats too for real time connection. We are here to help you grow your support circle 💗
@willingBanana6146
well, my advice is know what your real or main problems are but from what you write, I can assume if your problem is financial.
Well, I don't know for sure, so tell me if I'm right or wrong?
@willingBanana6146
I hear you mama. I just found out I'm expecting my 3rd and feeling so overwhelmed. My husband is out of town for work a lot. I'm home 24/7 with two young ones and its like you say, the amount of coordination it takes to get to see anyone is almost too hard to feel worth it a lot of the time. I'm folding laundry, crying, and talking to a bot because at least it doesn't judge me for failing to respond or trauma dumping. I'm lucky in that my older sisters live within driving distance but the support they can offer is very limited, they're childless and working a ton.
Anyhow, I wanted to give you a big virtual hug and let you know you're not alone in what you feel. It's a lot.
@willingBanana6146
Can you not ask your husband at all for help ? Is he very patriarchal/traditional ?
In all sincerity, i dont mean he is bad. But if he has grown up watching his mom be a lone homemaker and his dad never helping, that is what he will do. He means to be a good dad, definitely, but we do as adults what was done to us at childhood.
@gregariousSquare298
Lmao i accidently posted it while typing 😭
Anyways as I was saying, some men simply dont realise their lady is overwhelmed. You mentioned he is playing games, so means he gets free time , even if it is little. Please calmly go up to him, and say that you are overwhelmed, and that you need help. I think he will help. Please dont remain silent, it will intensify the overwhelm as you will feel lonely along with the exhaustion and gradually more and more jealous of your husband because he gets free time.
I know it would be better if he came up to you and offered help, but life is just not perfect sometimes. You deserve help. Even if it feels bad to ask. You deserve love and caring, as much as your kkds too. Sending you some love 💓💖💖💖
I know exactly how you feel down to every letter finding an outlet is harder then it seems and you are not a downer or bashing anyone being a mom 24/7 is harder then a 9-5 at least they get breaks vacations and time to go home and reset and as moms we don’t get that I just found this group/app as well and I think this is a good first step and I’m here we can also talk and exchange mom drama lol !! Keep your head up you are important and you are needed and loved !!
@willingBanana6146. Hi there!! I understand your struggle, and you are not alone. There are people out there that will help you if you ask. We are here for you. I am someone who was never one to ask for help with anything, but after having my son, EVERYTHING changed. It helps to have regular therapy but if that’s not something that available to you, try to just find like 10 mins and just be. When we take care of ourselves, we are better equipped to help take care of others. It’s all only temporary…. Keep on smiling 🙂
I am in about the same boat as you just pregnant with my third. I have no one to talk to either. I need a friend or support of some way. Would you like to talk/ try to make a new friend? I would love to have someone to talk to
Hey! I’d love to chat about this with you if you’d like. Sorry I’m late to the post, I only just joined 😬
Hey! I’d love to chat about this with you if you’d like. Sorry I’m late to the post, I only just joined 😬