What is your biggest motivation or guiding force 💜🥰

@Amanda84

Thanks for tagging me! :D

(Long reply, TL;DR at the end)

My biggest motivation in life is myself.

I have been on my recovery journey for 5 years now, and I've met so many different people along the way. I'm not exaggerating when I say this either... people randomly approach me and tell me their deepest secrets.

I don't know if it's because I have a kind face or I ask reflective questions. Maybe it's my aura? But people approach me and spill the tea. (Pun intended)

The reason I find myself so motivating is because I have been there... when people tell me about their issues here on 7 Cups, or IRL, I find myself relating heavily to their problems. I don't have to put myself in their shoes. I've been there! I just get it.

I am always finding motivation in my accomplishments because I've hit rock bottom, and I didn't see a way out. It took years of self-work, reparenting, retraining, reprogramming... and I'm still not done. I spent 22 years of my life not understanding myself.

I didn't like who I was and I couldn't see the person I wanted to become.

Something that guides me through my choices is listening to my inner child. I know I bring up shame a lot on here, but it's such a big flipping issue. Not knowing how to combat shame is fatal in relationships with ourselves and others.

Fostering my own identity, and what that really means for me on the individual level, has shaped the way I think about community. Everyone has baggage. We all have beliefs, values, and practices which  we uphold to guide us in life. And something so small, like the self, is an integral part of a community.

In all honesty, when I look back at myself from 5 years ago, I am so thankful that I chose this life. I am so grateful that I did things to educate myself on my mental health. I am thankful for the spiritual guides I met along the way. I am grateful that I learned how to communicate effectively and maintain relationships with others.

I said this to a member today in my private chat, and I think it's worth repeating again... "You're a work in progress."

They couldn't see the progress they've made. They said, "Isn't that normal?" But the reality is that when we are experiencing a mental illness... it's animalistic instinct to make ourselves appear competent and capable... even if we're severely wounded.

What that might look like is not reaching out for help when we're feeling triggered, sitting in environments that minimize or invalidate our experiences, staying in relationships that make us feel guilty for being alive.

This member couldn't see their strengths, their compassion, their empathy... all they could see is the things they weren't. And it took me pointing it out to them to spark something meaningful in the darkness.

I didn't solve their issues. I honored and uplifted them.

TL;DR Progress, not perfection. Grow through what you go through. Change doesn't happen overnight. It took me 5 years to get to where I am now, and I'm only growing.

🐠

@Amanda84 I cant single out one thing... but I think its life itself that guides you... of course im the one drawing meaning from my circumstances- and again im not able to do this by myself- my ability to think has been derived from so many people. Connection with others really counts!! There is an innately present inner voice too that serves as a guide. So it's a bit of everything. ♥️

@Amanda84

My biggest motivation is other people. Anyone.

I once thought myself to have no potential. That there was no light in life. That there was no reason, that things were random.

Other people spurred me on. Helped me take step after miserable step. Eventually, because of others, I found myself!

Now, I want to return the favour. I will do it gently and kindly, for I remember vividly how toxic I found positivity when I was down. It's hard to describe... but to see a smile made me frown. To see hope made me doubt.

If I could have the privilege of being the brightest part of someone's darkest day, I would be so proud. Just thinking of it brings a tear to my eye. I want to be what I needed. I want the other to recover, to rebound, so together we may look upwards and beyond rather than down. I believe we have limitless potential.

I believe in reason. I believe there is a point to this all.

Without other, I cannot be.