2024 November Stay STUCK in my own Muck OR FIGHT like never before!
I HAVE HIT ROCK BOTTOM AGAIN.
I've made progress in 2024 but here towards the end of the year, trials and tribulations have me feeling impotent and useless once again. This rock bottom is not the same rock bottom as a year or two ago. I know from my accomplishments this rock bottom can be approached with some extra advantages. With that said, ROCK BOTTOM is ROCK BOTTOM regardless of what you have or what you don't have. Rock bottom makes you feel impotent and useless.
(I am grateful and give thanks for all of my blessings)
BEEN STUCK IN THIS EPISODE OF MY OWN MUCK FOR TOO LONG AND I'M TIRED OF IT!
TIME TO FIGHT AGAIN! (Fight or give up..... my choice..... my results)
This is my November fight.
Family Relations, Nephew intrusion into my space.... Started as an asset but quickly turned negative.... TRY TO SAVE a positve spin to it. Holiday Communications. Keep equipment repaired to make money. Make money.
All feels hopeless, futile and disparing.
Where is the sunshine after all of last years hard work and progress?
Maybe my December post will feel more fruitful.
dishes done
i can't let the illusion of futility discourage me
755am FIGHT! reorganize freezers
freezers are done
indesicisiveness is muddling my mind
try to go to work job in frigid temps with cold diesel equipment or continue core balance chores
excuses or legitimate choices
confusion wants me to throw in the towel, but NO. one or the other is better than nothing
9am FIGHT fold laundry
145pm
I lost the last round.
i watched tv and slept for 5 hours
the fight continues..... fold laundry
laundry done and other small chores.
it is very late for me to run errands but i'm off to it.
@mytwistedsoul
Thanks for your support yesterday.
This is kind of my dark place thread so I never really feel like talking much.
But having pokes of support is always helpful and appreciated.
I've broke enough barriers yesterday that this morning is looking more encouraging.
Thanks again. /
PS.... Did you get slammed with a snowstorm? If you did, is everything OK?
@IsayUncle No thank you necessary. I hope the day continued on the encouraging route.
How appropriate this post is going to be. It is December 31st 2024 and I did nothing but procrastinate all day.
I wanted to start first of the year all caught up with everything and so that's what this post is all about and all the rest of the post that's gonna happen this evening from me.
I do not understand why I cannot get out of my own head sometimes and get done what needs to be done.
I am Going to try tonight to do all these things. 1) cut poles so they fit in shed. 2) dry and fold laundry. 3) give dog his medicine. 4) get all my receipts and paperwork caught up for 2024. 5) clean kitchen. 6) clean dog carrier and put away. 7) vacuum floors.
319pm: put on shoes and get outside into the cold wet rainy weather!
@IsayUncle
Also, make medicine packs!
@IsayUncle
518pm: I come out of the gate hard & fast. I cut the poles so that they fit in the shed, I drive a load of laundry, gave the dog is medicine, clean the dog carrier and put it away. In addition to that I started up the equipment so that it would run and be warm for the night time cold and I braised some pork ribs so those are done nice and tender with lots of au jus to play with.
It's almost dark outside and that always slows down the brain plus all the caffeine I drink might begin to have a reverse effect on me but my mind is strong at the moment so I will continue. I'll get my Med packs made-up real quick!
602pm it's dark outside now, the caffeine is wearing off. I did some Happy New Years texts got my Med packs filled and ordered refills.
I still have some energy.. I'm gonna roast some vegetables and clean the kitchen.
@IsayUncle
The cooking and the eating was the easy part and I am so tired I don't feel like cleaning the kitchen but I cannot start 2025 with a dirty kitchen.
I refuse and that has to be my motivation. 7:56pm go get 'er done! my last daunting chore for 2024! I must not fail.
DONE WITH THE DISHES! 8:32PM! ...... OTHER THINGS LEFT UNDONE, BUT NOT THE DISHES!
THIS IS MY LAST POST FOR THIS THREAD..... HAPPY 2025 NEW YEAR TO ALL!