Weekly sharing of Goals! Week #10 2024 (Monday 03/04/24 - Sunday 03/10/24)
I welcome anyone to commit to a goal here today.
But more importantly, talk about getting it done or why it didn't happen today.
To praise each other for our efforts and wins.
While supporting each other through trials and setbacks.
And to continue trying and not give up.
Remember:
Every Goal should be considered "Worthy".
Never belittle your achievements and be proud of yourself for your daily accomplishments!
Whether they be Complex or Simple.
Getting out of bed is a good day..... Good job I say!
Share your goals today, for support and encouragement.
I start a fresh thread for this series each week. Sometimes the new thread gets lost and is hard to find.
Being tagged makes it easier for those interested to follow the series.
If you want to be Added or Removed, please let me know. 😊
BUT always visit when you can. We love to hear from you! 💗.
@cloudySummer @mytwistedsoul @KristenHR @neatBlueberry5213 @CyclingThroughLife @spicyavocado3788 @AmyK1234 @ivoryLakeuk @MusokeHere @seashell145
@IsayUncle
Great question. Hi everyone!
I'd like to find more balance.
@KristenHR
That's a good one. What do you consider a good balance?
In my struggles to find balance, I discovered an important insight or nuance to maintaining a daily balance. (it's been working for me so maybe it can be a useful perspective).
We can work very hard for a long time to get our job in order, time, family, hygiene, finances, personal space and etcetera. What I have learned is that we can get these things that are important to us in balance but then something happens outside of that circle that knocks our balance off for a day two days or even a week and then it could just snowball and we're out of balance again.
I've came up with this thing for myself that I call my "core balance". And these are the chores and tasks, habits and meditations that I revert back to when everything else is out of order.
Core Balance - A minimallistic set of rituals or activities needed to be completed to feel content. Maybe not wholly satisfied, accomplished, successful but content and satisfied with yourself.
The wholly satisfied, accomplished, successful and even happiness are the instigators or obstacles that we must work through but include into our core balance but when they start knocking this out of balance, it's simply too much for me and it is better for me to slow down and regain my core balance.
I hope I'm not coming off as a blabbermouth, but I've been humbled and reduced to finding the simplest and most basic idea of self balance. It's not heroic but it's doable. (AND then it can be built upon)
@IsayUncle
I've been thinking a lot about balance since your post. I just made-up that term, "Core Balance" when replying to your post about finding more balance. I wanted to say I coined the phrase but I wanted to make sure that it wasn't already out there because it sounds pretty sensible.
I found no reference to Core Balance that was not about physical strength and even the name of a horse feed company hehe. There is a lot about balance out there, and strengthening our emotional core and so a lot of literature is out there about finding balance, emotionally and psychologically. But nothing specifically about acknowleding our Core Balance. I think it can be closely related to finding our center but still not the same.
You said you wanted, "to find more balance". The word, "more" indicates that you feel like you have some balance which is really really good. I don't think balance is something we can find, it is something that we have to make for ourselves. I know it's semantics but there is a slight distinction between them.
(Kristen)
I say that because balanceing something is a hard act and to add another thing to it isn't something we find, it is what we decide to work on. You have some balance and this could be what I refer to as your core balance. What do you think makes up your core balance? (the things that are important to be consistent and in order on a daily basis). How do you want to build up your balance and then include into your core balance? ...... you hit on a great topic and I will be exploring the dynamic of it quite often. Thank You.
What things do you want to improve on or add to your daily balance?
@IsayUncle
You are correct that that finding balance isn't about creating it but about choices. For me, that is looking at how much time I'm doing things for others, for myself, for work, and how I'm splitting my time.
For example, I need down time after spending time working. I need to be able to relax. I usually need a good hour or two to unwind. Usually it means playing a game or watching a show or chatting with a friend on the phone or Zoom.
It's making sure that I'm not going too long between meals. It's also making sure that I'm getting enough sleep and if I'm not getting it at night then finding time in my schedule to add extra sleep time. If it's happening regularly, adjusting my schedule to address the problem (I sleep better during the day).
Leaving work at work (of course for me that means leaving it in the file folder or tote). Relaxing, planning time to do things that are fun, not just using all my free time to work. Sometimes I tend to work excessively because I get excited about things I'm working on.
I haven't really considered Core Balance. But my initial thought when I think of Core is the center. So Center Balance is for me, that I am balanced holistically. My mentally, spiritually, physically and emotionally. I think this would be Core Balance to me.
@KristenHR
Hi Kristen,
Sorry it took me a bit to respond but I wanted the time for thoughtful response to a your very good post.
You hit the nail on the head with this one sentence. "For me, that is looking at how much time I'm doing things for others, for myself, for work, and how I'm splitting my time." 100% Spot On!
TIME is the key to all balance. I think this is what my idea of Core Balance was born from. As I am reading your post I can't help but it knowledge what an amazing, busy, interactive schedule that you have.
My idea of knowing my Core Balance was from everything being stripped away and choosing what activities to gravitate towards to maintain my sanity, self suffiency and forward progress. (7 Cups is one activity making up my core balance - mental well being + hopefully, helping others) Core Balance is a form of the most minimalistic and undemanding balance allowing for enough balance and peace of mind to take on another project of self suffiency or growth and improvement.
Starting with nothing but finding a sense of balance and building on that balance by adding things that take up a lot of time. I see genuine good hearted, entrepanuers, philanthropist's, Successful and Selfless charitable people that seem to travel with absolute Peace of Mind and genuine simplicity, humor and understanding. I know a lot of these type of people are good on putting on a social mask but I also have met some that are just so genuine and balanced.
How do they find the time to do so much? I believe that their Core Balance has been built up over the years to be much larger than my Core Balance. But my Core Balance is essential to maintain, as simplistic as it is, it must be maintained so I can build on it.
I am so sorry, I have used all my time to talk about "MY" idea of core balance. Your post happens to be a wonderful platform for launching the idea of core balance. My time has run out for the moment but I really want continue this conversation in regards to more of your perspective on things. (as your time allows of course)
I noticed one of the first things that you put towards your balance is helping others, and then yourself and then work.
And your center balance is comprised of mental, spiritual, physical and emotional balance unified as one or a whole. Your quest for balance in its entirety is commendable.
All the above are so important and I totally understand how hard it is when we work from home and you either have to meet deadlines or we really get involved with something we want to finish. How easy it is to ignore these important things and after a while they spiral out of existence.
@IsayUncle
I can't respond to your last post to me, but I do want to answer your question on implementing the balance I'm thinking of. This week I have been incredibly exhausted, so I've not pushed myself to have balance in everything. I've been trying to listen to my body and as I've been able to I've taken some naps.
I haven't slept well in over a week so my body has been needing some extra sleep to play catch up. I'm trying not to pressure myself with "you should" messages, but rather, "I have time" to nap and I can write or do later. I think I have had better balance this week in recognizing that i do need the extra rest right now.
I love that you are following this topic, as it is important for us to look at from time to time. And to give ourselves grace when we do not do what we want to do ultimately, or even our schedule doesn't work out the way we want it to.
@KristenHR
I do understand about being incredibly exhausted and I am sorry you're feeling that way this week. It's important that you took/take the rest that you needed. I do believe that is our first form of balance. If we be honest with ourselves, we know when our bodies are exhausted and we shouldn't feel guilty or bad about resting. It's important to get our bodies and mind back into a rested balance.
If we are not honest with ourselves and we just rest way too much day after day leading into weeks, then this is out of balance at the other end of the spectrum and it leads to different forms of depression and dissatisfaction.
Learning where our limits are within our own personal parmeters, in this one particular area is a big element about my theory of core balance.
I'm really glad that you like this topic. I was going to start an additional thread about my idea of core balance & overall balance but I didn't have time this week and so I cheated and morphed it into this goals thread. I do plan on having a separate thread. (When I do, is it OK to take excerpts from our current conversations?)
I hope you can do something to figure out your sleeplessness and get a couple of good night's sleep. That would be good for you and get to feeling a whole lot better. Until then keep wobbling forward doing the best you can.
@IsayUncle
Of course it's okay to use whatever is desired. It's a good conversation and definitely thought provoking that we've been sharing.
May I be added to the list please?
@anonyTortoise3336
Why, SURE! Thanks for asking and welcome aboard. Every week is a fresh start and I have this thread set up 52 weeks in a year. Next week will be week #11 and maybe you can start leaving a little bit of your work at work and have some better time at home.
I encourage members on this thread to help each other so it's more like a village pulling together than just one-on-one. That way, when I can't interact, it's nice to have some form of consitent support throughout the week. But some people are not comfortable doing that and that is A-OK. I totally get it.
My goal for this week was finding a healthy work life balance. It will be something I continue to work on. This week and next week I will work on saying no when the job wants me to do more than what I have time for( no bringing work home), and being present when I am home.
@anonyTortoise3336
I really like how you said, "and continue to work on." Getting overloaded seems to be such a natural and normal aspect to our daily existence. Taking a stand to leave work at work and then come home and do home things can have some huge benefits.
A good trick before you leave work, and you've got in your hand what you're gonna bring home because you feel like you need to, look at that and say this will take me a certain amount of time whether it's one hour 2 hours or longer.
If you choose to leave that at work make it a point to say I am gonna use the same one hour or two hours of my time to do something benificial and rewarding at home. (Try not to fall into the trap of, YAY, I don't have to do nothing) ..... unless of course you absolutely have to rest from exhaustion.
Thank you that is good advice. Being willing to identify things at home I will do other than what work I could bring home will always provide me the focus needed to stay on top of this goal.
@anonyTortoise3336
Welcome. Great goal. Mine is very similar. This is a great group of people for support.
You are very welcome. It helps me a lot to do it, and your support means the world to me, it really does.
My shoulder is not fractured or broken or cracked. But I definitely have some muscle or tendon trauma because I still can't lift my upper arm up. Overall I'm getting more significant movement with my lower arm and I was able to operate my equipment without significant pain so that was very good. So I am on the mend, improving and I start physical therapy tomorrow. Thanks for asking.
I'm glad you brought last weeks discussion here because all of our weeks inadvertently merge into each other that's why I like it when we talk about what's going on with other things and stuff. i honestly believe Europeans hold a lot more respect for basic chores than basic Americans do.
We have a lot of cultural communities here and it seems like the European cultures are steadfast and more responsible in a basic sort of way that they bring from the old country as we say. I think us having a discussion about washing windows is a wonderful example of your European nature, even when you do them once a year, it's what's on your mind. (psssst. I've never washed a house of windows, and me with lithuanian heritage... shhhh). Good luck getting yours done, I'm sure that will feel sooo good.
Thanks for the herb encouragement. (probably have to wash my windows so they can get sunlight hahaha 🤣😂) I had this big idea of setting up shelves of herbs with growing lights on them and kind of like a decoration in the kitchen along one whole wall which of course was never going to happen soon..... BUT to have some small planters around my windows is totally possible. Thanks for the shot in the arm. That's an awesome idea and I don't think my dogs will eat them, they'll be above thier head levels. About May - We have a lot of old timers here in the country and they will all shake their heads and mumble out loud whenever they see someone starting their garden before May. May 15th is the magic number in these parts.
Thanks for responding to my question about the nine weeks. It was meant to be reflective and create some initiative. I'm glad that you you feel like you did a little better than the previous nine weeks and plan on continuing with those things that are important to you. Volunteering seems to be very near and dear to you and I hope you continue to do it and enjoy the rewards from such things. Good job🤗.
The past nine weeks for me has been foundationally productive but not necessarily functional ability productive if that makes any sense. Anyway the foundation part is what I'm basing my success for in the next several weeks with my self-employment. Things are starting to fit together so I'm looking forward to the upcoming weeks and trying to follow one the path instead of several disjointed paths which were required at the time for basic survival but now I'm striving for a little growth (just a tad, a smidgen will be awesome).
CYA later - or as you used to say, Read you later!
My core balance is out of whack.
(if you read @kristenHR thread up above you'll have a better idea of what I think core balance is)
I've often talked about having to do my laundry and vacuum my floors and clean this and do that and I never realized that these were the things that made-up my core balance.
At the beginning of the week I was wonderful on my core balance, and because of that I was able to focus more on my work but then I spent too much time on work (which was needed), and as some of you know my arm has been giving me some trouble and so I have doctor's appointments taking up time. But then sadly one of my dogs got injured but he'll be OK. Caring for him and vet visits have altered my days.
So all of my stuff is out of whack and today I could have worked on things because it was raining but I slept all day.
Now that I realize the completion of my daily self-care responsibilities is the foundation of my core balance, getting these things done, I feel balanced and able to do other things.
So now for me, it's not so much the drudgery of doing a chore but the reward of finding my core balance by getting some stuff cleaned up.
I guess I needed to sleep all day today though because of the whirlwind week and my body just needed it but now I feel rested and so i'm gonna work towards my core balance so I can feel it again sooner tomorrow.
@mytwistedsoul
Hey Hey, u-ok or busy daze (days) 😉
@IsayUncle Depression just paying me a visit. But this is so nice of you! Thank you for checking in on me 🙂
@mytwistedsoul
Awww, Sorry and thanks for touching base.
Rest as needed and enjoy your restful times. I'm not being cheeky, I really do mean do not feel guilty about resting body and mind. Absoeb and enjoy the moments when you can because pretty soon you're gonna be back up on your feet running around and thinking, man I should have enjoyed some of that time off!
If you wanna talk we're here. Was there a trigger (lawyer stuff?) or was it just kind of like a blah blah blah slow decline? 💗
@IsayUncle The lawyer has become a trigger. I can't tell you how alone I feel when I leave their office and I guess it's just slowly building up. It's hard not to feel alittle guilty
when I know there's things I could or should be doing. I just got no
motivation and kind of have a fluff it let the world burn mindset. I
just remembered that I need to file his final taxes and I have a month
to get those done. To further complicate things I made plans to be away
for the first part of April - I wasn't thinking at the time and well -
fluff it attitude. Thank you for letting me whine :)
@mytwistedsoul
fluff it till you make it.
@mytwistedsoul
you're very A-OK!
Hi,
The goal is sometimes to stay present, be active, contribute, keep going.... My mind is insane with volume, and battle with everything. Im a recovering addict. i battle to find enjoyment in anything at all.
My daily reprieve from chemical use subjugation is a process of a daily reparation of the insanity I wake up with, and to go to sleep at night, under the illusion of successful transmission of daily perceptions and lifelong programming by my environment and the company I keep. I always seek the unattainable. I am set up to fail before I have even started because the task of step 1 is impossible, which people in NA confuse with difficult.
Step 1 - we admitted we were powerless over addiction and our lives were unmanageable.
I'm not supposed to be clean in yhis life, and with 30 years of addiction behind me. It's not my default to be clean, using IS my default. I'm supposed to use.... or die, go crazy, self destruct. But is there purpose (a greater goal for "good") in finding a way to do the impossible, that to say recovery through the steps, to stay clean one at a time, forgetting that every day will be a miracle, and the experience of 24-hours-at-a-time that might never ever happen again in the next 13-billion years (give or take 200 million years) that the universe has been around, by that soul, that energy and vibrational frequency of self-actualisation awareness, of seemingly endless meaninglessness.
@Clintond290
I don't have time to write more, but I wanted to say congratulations for your recovery and clean time!
@Clintond290
Hi, thanks for a powerful, honest and maybe you don't think so but a very inspirational post. It's the sincerity that makes it inspirational. The unsurmountable hardships that you are dealing with will not be easy to walk away from and find an alternative path. I guess the phrase "not easy" is a pretty lame way of saying "difficult". I did not craft the sentence that way, it just came out. But it does bring us to the subject of impossibility vs difficult.
In all good conscience, some things are not impossible. We say they are impossible because at the moment they seem impossible to us. I think it's OK to use the word impossible but at the same time acknowledge the reality of something seeming impossible when it may not be.
I really like your opening statement as copied below.
"The goal is sometimes to stay present, be active, contribute, keep going.... My mind is insane with volume, and battle with everything. Im a recovering addict. i battle to find enjoyment in anything at all."
if we remove the "I'm a recovering addict part", the rest of the statement is so very true to too many of us and I would say to most people. I would say there are tons of people out there that think it is impossible to stay present, be active, contribute, and keep going. Other people can have other legitimate reasons other than being a recovering alcoholic.
You are here for your own reasons. After 30 years of addiction, and not that my opinion counts for much; but I think it's pretty freaking amazing you are here and maybe preparing to battle the impossible. You can do it and maybe, just maybe you can find some relief and I understanding here.
ps... do care to share your sobriety efforts and the stage that you currently might be at?
Possibly booking a trip to Ireland tomorrow! If the spaces for it are all full, then picking a different place!
@colorfulNight3471
All right, sounds great! And to be adventurous enough to alter your plans quickly is really awesome. Have tons of fun, be safe and come home fulfilled.
SMILES FOR MILES 😄
@IsayUncle
I'm sorry. I just found this post from March. I just want to share.
My goal this week was to update my resume to attend a job fair.
Did I accomplish my goal? No.
Why? Because my anxiety kicked in causing me to avoid doing it. I have low self-esteem. Just thinking about looking at my job skills in black and white makes me get a headache. Competing with others who have more skills than I do, who are younger, more eloquent, etc. The list goes on and on.
I know that I need to find a new job because we need the $, which just makes me feel that much worse. But I'm stuck in a whirlpool with no way out.
@NotAllHere713
I'm really sorry and I do understand completely. There is a way out, is not instantaneous. Your desire to get where you wanna go does not have to be stronger than your anxiety but the two will come together and you must push through your anxiety at those important moments.
Anxiety could shut us down 100% so, slowly but surely we have to start practicing to push through little bits of it. To function, not by getting rid of the anxiety but to function while we carry the burden of it.
I can tell by your words you're at the cusp of breaking through.
A Good starting point is talking about it everyday and I would love to hear from you to see what you got going on for the day, the little bit you do to go in a direction that you want to go.
It does not have to be everyday but it should be on a consistent basis for a good length of time.
You Are More Powerful than you believe, it's that simple!
I felt good today when I woke up
I've been sick and really depressed down on myself the last couple of weeks
I have a few small goals I wanna reach and I'm working towards them
I helped some friends fix there van the last week and it feels good to be a help again
I'm sore and tired now and still have more to do before it's on the road again
But I'm further towards riding and not walking to the store again lol
@Rednomad
Hey, I'm really sorry to hear you been feeling bummed out. It's really great you felt better yesterday. Depending on the situation, sometimes being sore and tired can be a good feeling at the end of the day. I hope that was the case for you. But sometimes, maybe not so much. Our bodies are tired our brains are tired sometimes we just feel pretty down. I hope that was not the case for you.
That was cool that you were able to help somebody out with your van. It sounds like you have to get some of your stuff sorted but you've been working towards getting a ride for yourself, so that's great.
Keep on trucking my friend, or cruising or motorcycleing...... At every intersection we make a choice. I hope your choices today, put you in the direction you wanna go. Don't get discouraged if it takes a little while to get there. You got this, don't be down on yourself.
Congrats about getting closer to riding to the store rather than walking.👍
I got it to work!!!! I had to rebuild the program once I added the environment variables. I am submitting the revised assignment now.
@Enthenia
WOOO HOOO! The little train that could! I KNEW YOU COULD DO IT! Good job figuring it out and working it out, one step at a time.
