Biting myself, self harm or coping mechanism?

@Bumberlina - I am very sorry to hear that you had to deal with such an upsetting situation, but am glad that you decided to seek input here now that the overwhelming feelings have passed - and see, they pass at some point! You've done great so far.

Self-harm and coping mechanisms arent mutually exclusive – quite the opposite. Self-harm is a way to cope with emotional pain, thus a coping mechanism, even though a damaging and unhealthy one. Often being a subconscious impulse coming from deep inside, the urge to engage in self-harming practices isnt necessarily always identified as such. Many people who recogize their harmful behaviour as a coping mechanism still describe feeling powerless and subordinate to their emotions.

The reasons why people might engage in harmful coping mechanisms, regardless of them happening consciously or unconsciously, are many – and can include attmepts to regulate upsetting emotions like anxiety and tension. Hyperventilation, like you mentioned it, can be a result of anxiety and anxiety attacks as well. This being said, I cant tell if what you are experiencing is, in fact, hyperventilation due to anxiety and whether your response wasnt due to other reasons – but following what you described as a very upsetting moment, anxiety and ways to cope with self-harm might be worth looking into. It is also good to keep professional support, which can help with identifying past traumas and stressors and guide you through recovery, somewhere at the back of your mind.

Using alternatives to unhealthy coping mechanisms can help easing those overwhelming moments when you may feel a strong urge to engage in unhealthy coping methods. Breaking the circle mostly isnt easy, and understandably so – we are to dealing very strong emotions - but is a very big and important step toward managing our responses to triggers. Simple alternatives like squeezing ice or preparing and focusing on a hot cup of tea wont address the roots of your distress, but can help you to find and use a more productive and less harmful coping mechanism. It will demand a conscious effort not to hurt yourself, but the important thing is that if you do decide to use an alternative, youve made that conscious decision yourself, putting yourself in the position of more control over the emotions and the situation.

The amount of self-harm alternatives and distractions is immense (hooray!), so Ive pasted some hopefully helpful links for you below to keep it neat and relatively short:

Pink's Amazingly Awesome List of Links and Distraction (7Cups): https://tinyurl.com/pinks-distractions

Alternatives To Self-Harm: https://tinyurl.com/alernatives-sh

99 Coping Skills: https://tinyurl.com/99-coping-skills

146 Things To Do Besides Self-Harm: https://tinyurl.com/146-things

Distractions And Alternatives To Self-Harm: https://tinyurl.com/distractions-sh

If hyperventilation is something you are commonly struggling with, a nice and comprehensive resource about managing that:

Hyperventilation - The Anxiety Attack Symptom: https://tinyurl.com/hypervent-anxiety

I hope you'll find some of them helpful and wish you all the best!

@Bumberlina Thanks for starting this convo. I've actualy wondered that myself. I have borderline autism & anxiety & I've bit my hand, dug into my skin w/ my fingernails, hit myself, banged my head against a wall ect to cope w/ anxiety attacks & too much going on at once. I'm not violent or angry, just stressed & overwhelmed. I used to chronically bite my nails & the skin around them & it'd help me relax but I'd instantly regret it. I've thought of self-harm as something that leaves a mark, not inflicting pain on yourself w/o causing visible harm. My mom told me biting my nails was self mutilation & I was like come on. I know it looks "weird" & many people wouldn't understand but I've generally thought of it more like babies sucking their thumb. Sometimes I get this urge to put my hair in my mouth. I don't only because it'd make my hair gross. I know it'd make me feel better though. I also know people consider snapping a rubber band on your wrist a healthy coping mechanism & not self harm. I've also used hitting/pinching myself to train myself not to have negative thoughts. I haven't done any of that stuff in months but I find other sensory coping mechanisms really helpful eg shaking my lag to a beat, taking a moment to really feel the floor under my feet, stretching my fingers out ect. I've gone from biting my nails to picking at them & I keep them painted so I pick at the nail polish instead. It really does help w/ my anxiety. I'm working on it though. Nail polish is a cool way to measure my progress by how much is still there. I hope people don't notiice the new coat every couple days tho haha.