Feeling horrible with pocd
I'm a nineteen year old girl. I liked a celebrity like actually I felt that celebrity was quite attractive. I was just going through a random thread of that celebrity's childhood pictures on Twitter And I found him attractive and well dressed in those too. But at the same moment my brain says that I'm a pedo and I feel disgusted with myself. I don't know but I can't deny that he looked attractive always but at the same time I don't want to be a pedo. I do think that it bcz I know the grown up 25 year old version of him that I felt attracted too so it's natural to find him attractive in any age but I also feel paranoid. Before I used to find any boy pretty, I never fretted over it being bad or anything but just moved on but now I feel scared of finding any baby or child pretty. I just don't understand how to sit with this uncertainty when I know that I did find that xyz boy beautiful. I just feel horrible about myself.
I get so scared upon finding any boy in mid teens beautiful but I do know that I find them beautiful but I don't want it to be anything deeper than that but I feel like it is although I don't want it to be. I just don't understand this bcz I never thought about any of this deeply. Ever since I realized that I'm an adult and have a responsibility to not be bad with youngsters and be a pedophile, I started fearing everything including finding mid teenagers beautiful
@dynamicMelon8817
You are not a monster or a p.edo.
Don't be so hard on yourself.
You have worked yourself into a bigger state.
We can find people cute, theirs no bad intentions or malice behind it.
That's what counts.
💕💜
Thank you ❤🩹
.. I have POCD too but ??? Wdym you found his CHILDHOOD photo attractive ????
@dynamicMelon8817 you’re on the right track! Just know if you are scare- then it will never happen, your mind has a void where it draws a line! You can think and think and think, all you want but your thoughts will never define you. Just know and accept when you have that though (insert what your believe in) God made them beautiful and wonderfully made in his image, there are SO many attributes and attractions in people and that is so good you have that trait! You got this :)
