I can not bear living with this and thinking about it all the time
This is going to make me sound ridiculous, but I feel like I can post here and not be judged.
14 years ago, I was in a car accident. I was changing a CD, or grabbing a CD, I forget. The guy in front of me on the highway slammed on his brakes. I did too....then I switched lanes so I woudln't hit him. Then, since it was raining, my tires slipped and I ended up going BACK into the lane I was in and crossing another lane. A driver coming in that lane hit me in my door and spun me around.
I was okay. I don't remember much after because I was panicked. I BELIEVE I asked if everyone in their car was okay. I don't THINK I saw ambulances. I remember my car got towed away and I rode with the tow truck guy.
Later that day, either an insurance guy or the guy I was in the accident with, told me the lady in the car was going to the hospital.
About a month later, I was found at fault. I was at college when that happened, on my parents insurance I believe, so only knew that my insurance got more expensive.
My problem is this: I have been thinking about it and worrying that I killed or seriously hurt someone and never knew or realized.
I have tried to search for the accident record-there is none anymore. I have tried asking my insurance company at the time-they have no record of it anymore. The police didn't have anything either.
All I could find out was the date of the accident and that my copany paid $7500 to the other people for their car.
I am having a REALLY hard time. I am thinking that I hurt or killed someone. I have guilt I was changing my CD. I feel like I am a terrible person and need to be punished.
I feel liek I can't get past this. I am in a constant state of panic.
@GlitterGirl24
Well first off, you don't sound ridiculous at all. It sounds like your brain is trying to process what must have been a frightening and stressful event, one you possibly didn't really process at the time. One you were maybe too young to fully recognise the potential outcome of. And now you're putting yourself through the hell of 'what if', and that's taking you down all sorts of alleys. Because 'what if' can just spiral into the most convoluted and unlikely of places.
It's probably worth looking at the facts here to help you find some peace of mind. Firstly, you don't mention any type of prosecution, which would surely have happened if you were responsible for another persons serious injury or death. Secondly, an insurance payout of $7500 would cover the cost of a vehicle, not the cost of a life, or a life changing injury.
You say you feel a burden of guilt over this, and it's creating panic in you. It sounds like that's what you maybe need to seek support over, rather than torturing yourself that you caused a serious injury or a death when the facts don't support that. You had a momentary lapse of concentration, it's not uncommon. Please don't blame yourself for what was essentially an accident. It wasn't planned, it wasn't deliberate, try to accept the facts and find some peace.
@DeborahUK I just cried reading this. I Thank you very much for taking the time to try and help me.
7500 doesn't seem a lot....the problem os, I can't find any records of if there was medical payout or not.
I never pay attention to that kind of thing and I was in college. I just paid whatbthey told me and didn't ask details. So, I'm. It sure of there was medical or not, and now I can't find out.
@DeborahUK basically, I have no way of looking and seeing if there was any medical payout.
7500 was just for the other vehicle. The accident repirt, if there was one, is gone, and my insurance has no records anymore.
I keep thinking I have killed someone.
@GlitterGirl24
If there had been a death, or even a life changing injury, there would have undoubtedly been a police investigation. You'd have known about it. Please try not to worry. You had an accident - the very word means it was non deliberate. You don't have to keep torturing yourself over this.
@GlitterGirl24
Agreed with Deborah. If there had been a death or a serious injury you probably would have gotten taken to court or at least contacted by someone representing the other person. If the insurance companies negotiated this and you were found at fault there is no possible way you killed someone and they didn't tell you. No way. It's also unlikely, since you weren't sued, that the person experienced significant medical issues. Going to the hospital doesn't mean something terrible happened. Some people go to the hospital after a car accident just to get checked out, or to have minor injuries treated (like, it could be as simple as bruised ribs or stitches for a cut).