My mom agreed to help me get therapy, won't let me choose the therapist?
My mom and I had an argument recently because I don't like to open up to her, and she wants me to let her in. I agreed. So when an incident I had set off alot of anxiety, having to do with my phobia of germs/illness, I went to her. What she said didn'tcomfort me. In that moment I really thought I was going to die. I thought I had anywhere between a few days and a few weeks before I'd get sick and die. I knew that she was right, she was making sense logically. But I still felt anxiety. So while I was agreeing with her that I was fine and shouldn't worry, I wasn't exciting all smiles all of a sudden. She got really mad at me and I didn't know what to do. I was trying to resolve the issue but she wouldn't quit. I told her that I've been this way for 6+ years, and I was trying to say that I'd be fine because I've been living with it thus far. But she just kept going on and on about how it's a problem and I said "fine, take me to therapy then!" I've actually been trying to ask for a long time, but she's always so busy. When I try to talk to her she gets annoyed and agitated and says "I can't do this right now!" She finally brought it up on her own and agreed to help me get therapy. I told her I wanted to see someone that specializes in phobias, because that's my problem. Then she just shouted "I'll take you to the one I know!" I'm really frustrated because she has such a big problem with what I'm going through but she won't even help me get quality help.
I'm nervous about what to expect, what it'll be like. What sort of questions I'll be asked and what it's like having to open up to a stranger. I had a therapist picked out already, one who specializes in phobias, OCD, and everything I'm dealing with really. But the one my mom wants to take me too does family and couples therapy. I don't see how that's supposed to work but...I guess I don't have much choice. Will that sort of therapist be able to diagnose me? I really want closure more than anything. Validation. I'm going to be moving for college this summer and I'll have to find another therapist. So I'm not sure if 6+ years of developing, evolving, worsening baggagecan be undone by August.
I kind of just wanted to discuss this, get if off my chest. Thanks for any advice/support. I've never been to therapy before, and I'm nervous.
My mom is so busy I really think she'll forget about it if I don't remind her. I've been wanting to go to therapy for awhile now, so do I remind her? Do I let her forget? I don't know which one I really want.
Honestly, it might be useful for you to express your concern that you feel a therapist who specializes in phobias might fit with your needs better to the new therapist.
From here they'll probably ask you to open up to them anyway as a way to get to know you and your needs a little better.
After that they might agree with you and recommend that to your mother.
Also, after your first session, you might change your mind based on how the therapist fits with and maybe all will be all.
Your mom probably wants to take you to the therapist she knows because well... she knows this therapist and doesn't want to take you to some "stranger you read about on the internet" or something like that. Parents can be funny like that.
Either way, I hope everything works out for you, and it can't hurt to remind her. You might get into a fight again, which would be sad, but this is really important to you and she needs to know that.
Thanks.
Also talk to your current therapist about how you feel And maybe they can help advocate for you to see a specialist.
When my mom first brought up the words therapist and counseling I was angry. I'm not the type to open up, I didn't have any idea who this person was, but they happened to be the person that helped me be where I am today. I have overcome a lot, things like; anxiety, depression, panic attacks, stress, and other issues, but when I walked into the doors of my therapist it's like my life changed. It's helped me become a better person, at first I didn't talk to him much about my life, but session after session it's like we connected. I thank him so much for it. Without my therapist I probably wouldn't be here right now, he helped me find God, he helped me overcome the impossible. I hope all goes well for you
Siren,
My heart goes out to you. I experience similar anxiety in terms of cleanliness. If things are vastly out of place or unclean I become very uncomfortable. Similarly, when under extreme stress or anxiety, the first thing I do is clean-compulsively. Often times I have to actively stop myself or I will just continue moving on to things like window panes, ceiling fans, brick work, and the like. Things most people never look at twice.
Anyway. what I really wanted to say is that maybe this therapist will help you cope within your relationship with your mother and help her to better understand your experience. If he/she feels unfit to treat you, the therapist should provide a referral to a more specialized therapist who can help you specifically. Keep us updated. 