OCD and Chronic Illness

I have lupus. For a while I said screw it I'm not taking my medication anymore. I figured I see my doctor regularly and if anything comes up in between appointments I'll call them ASAP. Eventually I decided I should probably take my medication. But because I have a history of not taking it my OCD is making me doubt whether I've been taking it lately or not. It's exhausting. I know I shouldn't provide myself reassurance as that only makes it worse in the long term but it goes against every instinct I have. It's so frustrating cause my labs have been great the last two times and I feel great physically. Yet, I'm so scared of getting blood work in a week. I keep getting this panicked feeling like I'm gonna get really sick or worse. I know it's just me catastrophizing but it feels so real at times. And I just can't stop thinking about stuff from the past and replaying things over and over again. Normally my OCD isn't like this. There's normally loop thinking but this is different. I can't sleep or eat and I just get so scared at times. I don't know how to get through this.