Anyone here have twins?
Hi my name is Marcie, I’m 17 and I’m a mom of beautiful newborn twin boys and I’m looking to connect with other twin parents. If you have twins, I’d love to hear your story and I’d really appreciate some advice and support. A lot of times I find myself struggling to keep up with the twins and I often doubt myself and feeling like I’m not good enough for these two kids. It’s already hard enough to cope with being a teen mom as it’s a very isolating and challenging experience for me, but twins take it to a whole new level. Don’t get me wrong, I love these kids to death, and I’m so blessed and happy to have them, but I’m also very stressed out. It feels very defeating to have to accept help from family because I want to be able to do it all on my own and raise them the way I want to, but as a teen mom of twins I know it’s just not possible.
If you are a teen parent or a parent of twins/multiples or both, I’d really like some advice. Here are some of my biggest questions: How do you survive this journey? What helps you the most? How do you cope/manage stress? How do you deal with conflicts and disagreements with family members and your partner? What do you do when two babies are crying at once? And is there anything else you’d like to share about raising twins or being a teen parent? Please let me know! I’d love to hear your thoughts,
@marcy84
hey i am just giving this a bump for you for folks to chime in!
@marcy84
Hi Marcie, first off congratulations on your twin boys! It is challenging enough with one newborn let alone two. I can understand why you are experiencing feelings of always being behind or questioning your abilities as a mom, these are natural thoughts to be having especially when you are caring for multiples. I like to call the postpartum period the fourth trimester because there are many changes and shifts that happen individually and within the home. In time you will find your rhythm and what works best for you and your family.
I am glad you realize that doing it all on your own is not possible. We want to show everyone how capable we are, but asking for help isn’t a sign of weakness or incompetence. If anything it strengthens your extended family bond and allows you to be the best mom you can be. When mom is happy, everyone is happy. So don’t feel shy about delegating some tasks or making a regular time of the week where a family member comes over, brings food and takes care of the boys while you shower or rest.
In answer to some of your questions I would like to recommend a book called ‘Multiples Illuminated’ by Megan Woolsey and Alison Lee, which are a collection of stories and advice from parents of multiples. You may be able to get some ideas there. There are a couple of y.t channels that you also might like, one is called ‘8 passengers’ and the other is ‘The Ohana Adventure’.
I’m a mom of twins. They are teens now but I remember one too that helped me. When one baby wakes up you wake up the other baby. Eventually they will both be on the same sleep and feeding schedule that way you will get some rest!
One tip that helped me
@redVillage9873 I agree with that one, how are you getting on now?
@marcy84
Mom of twin boys here! They just turned 6 last week.
If I had any one major bit of advice to give--that I wish someone had told me very early on?
It's simply to PLEASE not fall into the trap of comparing the two of them, development-wise.
It's easy to see one kid excel at one thing-- hit some milestone on time, and then his brother falls behind. I would frequently be comparing one of my boy's progress with the other, while failing to remember that they're INDIVIDUALS despite being twins.
For example, one potty trained sort of on his own, without any nudging by us-- over the course of a single week. His brother, meanwhile, it was a long, drawn out process, and he still wears pull-ups at nighttime still to this day.
It's easy to look at the successes of one kid and wonder why the other isn't also hitting the same checkboxes. But don't give into the temptation!
@BeachyAnne What great tips! Thank you for sharing. And twin boys wow Super-Mom!!
@marcy84 A good partner is someone who believes in others.
I'm a mom to twin girls who are now 13. I adopted so I wasn't there for the first couple years. But I, too, would love advice on how to parent these kiddos and keep their mental health and my own.