Chat Between @jesusredeemedme2425 and @agreeableSkies9889
I thought that I would make us a penpal chat, because I love talking to you and I’d love to get to know you more! Please feel free to ignore if you don’t want to, or if you don’t feel comfy. No pressure! <3
I genuinely have 0 idea what to do. My parents have been neglecting my bother for a long time who struggles and probably has a learning disability. They've never got him tested and he's 17 now. He struggles a lot. He used to threaten us with knifes and do weird things when he was 12... He hitted today that he has violent thoughts and he talks about khs. I hope he doesn't do anything. I've begged my parents over the years to help him and they never have. With all my problems it's hard but I really want him to get because I love him. He said he feels like he doesn't matter at all. My dad's been going a wall because he wants to buy a house and has been really controlling even more than normal. My parents won't listen to anything I say about my brother and I asked him to come to me first if he ever felt like he'd do something dangerous. I just don't have any clue what to do. I'm so overwhelmed. I know you don't have all the answers I just really need someone to confide in. I hope this isn't too much. I hope you're well ❤️❤️❤️
Sorry I took so long to respond. I’ve been on a somewhat Cups hiatus (just poking my head in a little bit, keeping up with a couple of chats and such). <3 I’m still here tho! <3
Can he ask his parents to take him to the doctor? And ask the doctor questions when they’re not in the room?
Going a wall?
Can he come on 7Cups as well? Would that help, at least a bit?
Does he have access to therapy?
Also, yes, I’m doing good <3 I’m reading The Thief Lord and watching Battle Camp rn :) Really struggling with my ED tho :(
I honestly don't think they'd do it . They barely take any steps forward and don't care about him at all😞 I want them too but they shut down and get mad/scream at me when I bring it up.
I just mean he's acting crazy.
He can't read so I don't really think he could use the app 💔
Wow… I’m sorry :(
Why can’t he read?
How’ve you been lately? Sorry for my slow responses. Haven’t been on here much lately.
I think he has a learning disability... He's really struggled with schooling... He really struggling reading basic stuff
I'm okay I guess... We didn't end up getting the house which is disappointing but I'm also kinda glad it didn't happen because there was so red flags about it. One thing I'm really happy with is that I'm playing Star Wars knights of the old Republic and it's so good!!! Might be my favorite video of all time. I've been making some cool art though the creative part of my brain is cooling down again.
I'm still trying to find a psychologist... I hope I find one soon 🤞
How are you?
Why wouldn’t they test him?
Is it a good or bad thing?
What console??
Whatcha art-ing? Hehe
What’s the latest on that?
Meh. Just meh. How can it be everything and nothing at the same time??
I’m in and out. I got rid of FB, so I suddenly find myself bored lately lol! Been deleting my vast number of emails lol
They're ignorant and ablist... They only kinda started caring about it a little bit recently.
Probably good because I don't think they could afford it without my help and IDK what the future holds or if in 2-3 years from now I'll really want to live with them.
Right now I'm playing on my Oden portal 2... I also have an Xbox series s but I usually stream my Xbox to my Oden because I like hand held gaming better because of my double vision.
I was doing some digital art and drawing on shoes! I want to customize my jean jacket but I don't know exactly what I want to put on it yet.
I'm still trying... I'm thinking about on my day off maybe making a bunch of calls in a row and scheduling everything I need too in one day because I keep putting things off.
That's cool! I feel like everyone needs a break from social media sometimes. Happy to see you posting again though ♥️♥️♥️ I'm always here if you need hugs
Wow.
Good point
What’s Oden??
You have double vision?
What media do you use for the shoes???
How would you customize it? Like embroidery?
I need to do that too. I need to make an eye doctor appointment.
I got rid of FB. I found myself idle XD
I ALWAYS need hugs! <3
Oden is an android handheld... It's kinda like a switch but it has the Google Play store and you can stream Xbox games if you have an Xbox and also emulate a lot of older games... It's really cool!
Yeah I have a lazy eye and can't see straight.
I just use permanent markers on Converse.
I thought of cutting up a T-shirt and sewing it to the back of it and drawing on it a little bit too.
🫂🫂🫂
That sounds cool <3
Awww, is it hard to function?
Wouldn’t they bleed?
Ooh inventive <3
Yeah... I mean I can't drive and doing things that involve looking from a long distance is impossible
Maybe... I haven't worn them out in the rain yet so idk. I know you can heat treat them but I haven't done it yet.
Hows your day going?
I’m sorry :(
I wasn’t even thinking about water… I was just thinking during drawing. That too!
Good! I ate bad… But Jesus fed me. So I’m happy. <3
They didn't really bleed that bad from drawing on them. Only a little bit but it's not noticeable.
♥️
Also it's totally fine to take a break from social media definitely a mental health app... Though I do hope you are ok ♥️
So what’s the BEST thing you’ve experienced this month? <3
What are you looking forward to during this next month? <3
I don't know lol... I guess me and my coworkers have been having some deeper conversations recently...
I don't really have anything I'm looking forward to. I don't want to be here... I'm trying... I feel like the only way to move forward is to just explode everything... Tell my family how I really feel about things and try to fix stuff instead of ignoring it, but I don't know if I'm strong enough and if I'm not careful I'm afraid they might not understand. Idk... I'm really scared about my future
About what?
Be here? Should I be worried?
Take baby steps <3
What about you?
Hmm… I’ve been trying to eat better and I got through a pile of books! I’m trying to clear out my Netflix list partials too; they’re stressing me out. Lol
I’m looking forward to an event I’m helping to host <3
My family is so frustrating. I just took my brother and sister to see a movie... The movie was fun but after I thought we should get lunch and omg... My brother is weird... He's just sitting there staring at strangers not talking... Then when I ordered food he stood there totally confused for like 2 minutes... I'm trying to feel for him but I can't help being upset definitely after he thanks me 100 times and my family acts totally fake and I'm so sick of them. I don't know what to do. I can't stay here anymore. I'm so anxious but I can't stay with my family anymore... It hurts way to much. There's nothing I can do. I've thought about every possibility and I don't think I'd be able to definitely with my eye problem. I feel so lost
Is he autistic?
Can you move out and find a place near work, so you can walk there? Get roommates?
Idk. I don't think so. He probably has a learning disability but he's also convinced himself that he has ADHD because my mom has it but I honestly don't think he does because he kinda has totally changed the way he acts in the last year or 2 to and before then he didn't act this bad... He's always been a little awkward. I try to be patient but I honestly think he's doing it for attention. If anything I think he might have dyslexia or something and also might be on the autism spectrum but idk.
It's probably going to be a while still... I wish I could leave now or at least be honest with my identity and have them still love me the same. I'm planning on trying to plan an appointment with an eye surgeon this week or next week. I'm still trying to find an psychologist but it's really difficult and there's other things that are starting to feel more important so idk.
Hope everything is good with you.
Interesting, I wonder why he does that.
Remind me what the eye surgeon thing is for? (I have an awful memory. If I ask you the same things, etc, please be patient with me and just repeat it. I have memory loss. Sleep deprivation and poor diet, probably.)
I think he sees me struggle with mental health a lot and wants there to be a reason for being the way he is. He's really unmotivated and has anger issues. Idk.
I have a lazy eye that gives me really bad double vision, it makes it hard to do a lot of things.
I'm very patient it's okay ❤️
Memory problems?
I've struggled with sleep a lot over the years too though work has helped me a lot with going to sleep though it's still impossible for me to sleep more than 5 hours at least I'm sleeping every night now.
Feel free if you want to vent or talk more about your problems, I'm all ears btw.
I feel really overwhelmed recently. I don't know what to do. I have begun to get a pretty good relationship with the people I work with and I have a lot less panic attacks then I used to unless I'm doing something new but I can't stand being home or dealing with my family almost at all. They drive me crazy because they're very homophobic and inconsiderate. I can't handle being confused. I have no idea what my identity is. I'm sick of never doing anything or having any friends. I'm still trying to get diagnosed with autism but now I found a website that actually might work though I don't know if I will have the chance or if other things are going to take priority soon because I really can't imagine being stuck in my parents house with so many problems much longer but maybe their more accepting then I think they'll be, that's what I hope for but idk. Hope you're doing ok
Idk.
How do you see to walk??
Yeah, memory sucks.
That’s good. I don’t sleep well either. Wake up a lot.
What would you like to know? <3
Do you know why they’re homophobic and inconsiderate?
Why don’t you have any friends?
Try Wrong Planet. I like that site. :)
I’m good, tired and my mints gave me a migraine for 2 days… sigh
People ask me that a lot lol. Muscle memory + coordination but it's hard sometimes... Reading or doing stuff at work can be a little bit difficult at times but I've survived.
I don't know 🤷♂️ Just if you feel like talking I'm here to listen.
I family grew up in a very bigoted culture, I think they don't understand or care enough to change.
I used to go to a youth group full of jocks and stuff. I wanted to be liked so badly that I didn't even realize that they mostly made fun of me and none of them cared enough to try to stay in contact after. Besides that I haven't tried very hard. I do better making friends online but it hurts to not actually have someone in real life. My anxiety keeps me from asking people to do things too. I've always wanted to be in a relationship, have tons of friends who share my interests etc. but I feel like it'll never happen. Sometimes I feel like I don't deserve it tbh.
Sorry about the migraine btw.
I'm feeling really conflicted rn. Part of me wants to be my full self unapologetically but I'm afraid that the world isn't ready for that yet, I'm not ready 😞 I have things I need to do, I need to get my life together tbh. I keep coming back to the fact that I want to be a girl. Sometimes it gets quiet and then will come back louder than ever and seeing how my family view trans people and the bills being passed so trans people can't even live makes me feel really hopeless. Growing up I always thought that we were progressing and when I was an adult people would be even more accepting but it feels like in the last 5 years society has regressed so much... Idk, maybe I'm just an adult now and see things clearer.
I'm just hoping things in personal life will become clear and clear... I hope one day someone can see me for who I am on the inside.
I made a decision to cut off my extended family as much as possible... My parents and siblings can be hard to but my aunts and uncles are just horrible people ingeneral and are bigoted to a comical level lol.
Anyways thanks for keeping me company! I enjoy our conversations. Sorry my life's kinda depressing. I wished I had more positive things to talk about but it feels nice that there's someone out there who understands/cares.
Sending hugs 🫂🫂
I’m being attacked by a mosquito tonight. HE JUST BIT ME AHHHHH IT ITCHES!!!!! I have like 2-4 welts so far. Can’t tell. Trying SO HARD to smack him, but dude’s a NINJA :( So miserable rn
Ahhh... I hate Mosquitoes. The only thing worse are yellow Jackets . I hope you got him!
Yeah, wasps are evil. And they eat meat. And steal it from your BBQs. Hehe
I've been bitten SO many times this year lol
I figured I'd check in. How's it going? Doing anything to better yourself or to have fun?
I know you're not online a ton right now but I was wondering when you see this if you mind me asking how you found God? I honestly feel like maybe I should pray and try to reconnect with God. I've honestly been really mad at God and ashamed for how I think. I want to be saved but I don't know how to make it all happen or if there is a way.
I am SO sorry, I just read this...
I think you should read the Gospel of John. It will give you a lot of food for thought and clarity <3
Why are you mad at God?
I found Jesus because my mom led me to Him <3
I'm happy you're mom lead you to him!
I'm really struggling with why I was put here. Abused... Treated poorly.
I want to read the Bible and talk to God but my family use it as an excuse to be horrible when I just don't see it from when I've read it... They think a lot of crazy things... And it hurts
She saved my life. <3
Its really hard... People are evil. Sinful. Abusive. I've been abused my whole life too... I get it :(
A lot of people use the Bible as an excuse to be evil. Taking verses out of context or misinterpreting them for their own evil motives...
What does your family do and think?
Would you like to read the Bible with me? I used to do that with Torean. I need to get back into my Bible anyway, I haven't read much lately...
Anything you'd like to share? No pressure, I absolutely understand abuse. <3
My family thinks that incest is ok, that being a pdf is ok as look as someone is a teenager. They think racism is ok. That gay people are gross and trans people are terrible and shouldn't be allowed in public.
I wouldn't mind some Bible verses... I don't know... I feel very conflicted... But I could use some light in my life 💖
Ew. Your family needs help. :(
I don't understand the second part of your first sentence.
You really should move out.
Why not start with the first chapter of John? I'll read it with you <3 No pressure. Just an easy read <3
Conflicted about what?
Jesus isn't like the Christians you've met. <3
I'm conflicted because I want to know God but the only God I've been taught about is one that is used to justify terrible things though I'm trying to tell myself that it's not true... And yeah everyone is telling the same thing lol. I need to move out... My manager told me too lol... I should I'm just soo scared of literally everything... My sentences keep cutting out when I post. I think it's a glitch on my end, not sure.
Yeah... Ask Tiny about that one. Poor thing. God has been used as a way to hurt TONS of people...
Is there a friend of yours who'd love a roomie? <3
Let's start small together, ok?
I thought about my sister but she had a mental breakdown and her car almost caught fire and she quit her job and is unemployed now and for the foreseeable future... Besides that idk... I don't really have anyone... I wish I did... I think I would make a great roommate but don't have a lot of friends, there's some coworkers but none I could be roommates with. All of them live with their significant others or have a place already. I know one guy but he is very into drugs though he is an ally... I'm just not sure about it... He lives with his mom... He's talked about moving out but I don't think he's serious about it
Ok, not your sister, and definitely not your friend. No drugs. You dont need MORE drama and crazy lol
Maybe Craigslist?
Maybe a fresh new start with new people is what you need <3
Yeah... Maybe I will try Craigslist, wouldn't hurt. I tried an roomies but couldn't find much in my area at my price point... Maybe Craigslist could help me find someone?
What you could also do is look up AirBnBs. Longer term ones. Throw most of your stuff in storage and explore your area <3
That's a good idea... I also thought about selling stuff... Thanks for new ideas get some beauty sleep queen!
AirBnBs are really cool! And theyre furnished. Did it myself for awhile. They're so calm and cozy and comfy! <3
Have you ever done an AirBnB?
Aww thanks! You too hehe
No I haven't... But it sounds interesting... I have a week off next month... Maybe I'll just spend a few days by myself
Why dont you find a cute AirBnB near you, cheap but luxurious, and just make your own little retreat? That sounds amazing <3
Like horrible things... Stuff really disgusting...
FYI, I'm going to bed soonish. Just in case you wonder where I disappeared to hehe
Would you like me to give you tiny quests to help you? <3
Night <3
I hope you got some sleep last night <3
I got like 4 hours of sleep... Could have been worse... I deleted reddit and my account... I feel so vulnerable... And broken... Our conversations really helped last night... You helped me hang on
I'm so proud of you for deleting them. That's HUGE, and an amazing step! That's so awesome <3
For real. I was honestly planning on ***. But you made me feel seen... You're why I'm still here ... Sorry... I hope that isn't too much of a burden on you
Wow I guess it'll censor it no matter what... Well I hope you know you saved my life ❤️
Awww hon... I'm so glad you're still here <3 And so happy that I was able to make you feel loved enough to stay! <3 hugs <3
My mom is praying for you, and so am I <3
Thank you that means a lot ❤️
How you doing now?
I'm okay, at work... I've been working a lot recently and it's been stressful... I'm thinking about looking for a different job... And trying to be more social... I'm hoping my parents will start coming around to the fact that I'm gay at least... I'm a little confused about my stuff still... I go back and forth but I'm experimenting with different jewelry and clothes which is cool.
Maybe you could create a different focus for yourself for a week?
What kinds of things do you like doing?
Ooh jewelry sounds pretty <3
Yeah I'm getting a star wars bracelet that looks pretty cute.
I love drawing.
I need to clean my room.
Those two things would help a lot.
I'll probably keep working on a note that I'll give my mom. Just don't know exactly what I want to say still. I wrote one but honestly the gender stuff has been really confusing and I don't know if I want to tell them everything... I would like to be more flamboyant and girly, I really wish that it was more socially acceptable to be non binary... But idk... Like some clothes and grooming are really gendered and I don't get it.
Ooh that sounds cool!
Ok, can I give you tiny missions to get you inspired? I'll be around for awhile today, so this will help you a LOT <3
I have an idea... Ask AI to help you write it. :)
Grooming?
Yeah, I like shopping in the men's section. Men's clothes are so much more comfy, and they have POCKETS! Hehe
Sorry, I had to work 1230-9
Maybe... Ai kinda freaks me out sometimes... Though it can be helpful.
I mean, they think guys shaving their body is weird or taking care of skin...
I like some men's clothes and some women's... Men's pants are 1000% better lol
Don't tell people your work schedule, its safer that way <3 I dont myself <3
Why does it freak you out?
People need to get over themselves lol. Skin care is healthy. Also, swimmers shave their bodies. :)
Men's pants are WAY more comfy lol! I happily bought a jacket there once and it was so comfy <3
Idk, I'm a free thinker lol and I want my words to come from the heart.
Hope you have a good day! I'm going to have to work like all day today 😕
Hope you have a good day 💕 ☺️ ❤️
I feel that <3 I have zero bandwidth lately, which is one reason why I like using AI.
Awww I'm sorry :(
Have a great day! <3
I mean back and forth with gender
Haven't heard from you in a bit. You ok? <3
I'm really busy... And depressed. Idk... Honestly not really but I don't know what to do or where to go
You have me. I'm here <3 What's depressing you?
Busy how?