Hey
@Tsuk
Sorry I should've told you I was gonna create this but I saw your last message before I left and thought I should respond.
@Tsuk
Hey, how r u doing? How is things?
@IzzyGamer
hii, i’m doing okay. I hope. Ups and downs and school is starting so it feels moe like downs but upper moment keep me up i guess uhm…
What about you?
also it’s great to hear from u
@Tsuk
Well I'm really glad your doing ok. I wish you the best of luck with school hope that everything goes good for you.
Yeah it's great to hear from you too, I totally wasn't worrying abt you.. 🙃 (ok mabye I was a little)
@IzzyGamer
thank you. It means a lot🫂also the fact that u worried a bit…means a lot.
I hope things are ok for you too. I don’t want to ask again again if u don’t want to answer(: i’m here🫂🫂💗💗
also can u look at my bio pls there’s smth for my friends
@Tsuk
Ofc I'm gonna worry that's my job. 🫂Besides your my friend 😀
I'm doing fine I think. You could say I'm surviving.
And yeah I saw your bio that's what made me worry to begin with. 🙃
@IzzyGamer
okay understandable, yes.
i hope the surviving is soon more nicer izzy, and yeah friendss🫂🫂
also i wanna rant. I have school tomorrow. We go to like do some internship for a week oitside the school. Uhmm and i guess it’s anxiety cause i feel like feverish but my temp is fine so. Yay i do not want to go and do math and see all those ppl and have no time alone and probably *** anxious all the time there it’s gonna be draining
thanks for listening i needa rant
@Tsuk
I get that, school can sometimes just be really overwhelming. I don't know whats it's like, not really anyways cuz I don't go to a public school, but just take it slow. Everythings gonna be okay I believe in you (: 🫂🫂
@IzzyGamer
thank you. I also like know it’s gonna be okay (that’s the sentence i always tell myself when i get overwhelmed with any school thingy, like in the end it has to be alright even if it sucks rn and i can’t do it to that due to date and etc) but it’s just so uncomfortable
@Tsuk
Yeah, just don't be too hard on yourself. One piece of paper doesn't define who you are.
@IzzyGamer
U don’t have to read this it’s long and just me whining.
yeah. I know. It’s more like a lot of papers tho. And it kinda shows how smart i am and where i get to study or work in future. That’s all i hear around me and i’m literally the worst student of the class. And like. Friens have said in past that it’s okay and like it doesn’t define me but they themselves have goid grades(they work for it and i totally understand why they have them) and it still makes me feel bad that i’m not as good as anyone i know. I don’t think anyone cares tho. At least i’m kind of invisible. But my mind still tells me negative things and it also does not feel good to ve invisible but i got what i got and if i fail then atleast no one else doesn’t have to be the worst student and do bad. My friend once told me how she was so glad that teacher (english class)made me say every word i didn’t know in the text what was basically every word. She was glad cause then she didnmt have to ve stupid and ask all the words she didn’t know. It’s like i’m good cause i’m dumb.
sorr that i rant. It’s not even everything so important i just haven’t talked about my things for like a long time and i kind of need to blurt it out lol
@IzzyGamer
but yeah. It doesn’t define me. It just still feels bad u know. I failed so much at the end of the last year. Math, english, almost literature, my mental health, friendships. A lot of unfinished or bad works or not done works or after the date works. I felt such a horrible student i front of kind of every teacher and i felt the silent hate what probably or maybe was just in my head.
@Tsuk
that’s when i came to cups and started sh. Basically. Things haven’t gone good since then. Idk what happened
@Tsuk
It's ok I get it. Sometimes things just fall apart. But you know what's good about falling apart? You can put yourself back together and come back stronger than you were before. We can change and we can learn. It's going to be ok. 🫂🫂
@IzzyGamer
yeah. True. Thank you
@Tsuk
Ofc ofc
@Tsuk
Ok i just need to get something off my chest something I've been thinking about for a while.
I've been thinking about leaving cups.... Ok I could never bring myself to actually leave cuz I've met so many amazing people and I can't leave them behind. But I haven't felt the same about this place as when I first joined... Ik cups has changed and everything but that's not even really the problem. A few of my friends have left from here without saying anything and I'm kinda worried and idk. Ik there's nothing I can do but still. I just don't belong here anymore... I've never belonged anywhere. Idk sorry.
@IzzyGamer
don’t be sorry, i get it. It’s okay. If u do want to leave i totally understand, and i don’t wanna be a reason you stay here if u don’t like it here. When the ppl who were there at the start leave it does make cups different. I myself miss some ppl who left or i don’t see anymore. Cups’s not the same. I understand u, atleast at some point.
i hope, if u do leave, that things get better for you and i’ll wish you the best.
@IzzyGamer
and i mean if leavingis what You actually want or need then u shouldn’t let others here keep u from doing it. It’s okay to do what u need to or want to
@IzzyGamer
i’m sorry u feel like u don’t belong. Anywhere. It’s understandable. I’m sure you will find a place or space to belong some time. I’m sure. And again, you don’t have to be sorry. But i’m glad u let me know, even if u probably don’t do it, take care🫂🫂
@Tsuk
Heya, how you doing? Have you started school? If so how's it going?
@IzzyGamer
hey, sorry that i haven't been around and also, i'm sorry u have to always be the one texting first, i know it can hurt, sorry.
And yes i've started school. It was first full schoolday today. luckily we don't have hard lessons rn like math for example. I still feel like dying half of the day tho and go to bathroom every break to somehow calm or idk, gain control, like i just wanna go home and i feel like i can't do this(school, what means lessons and learning and being around mass of ppl), honestly. Like i'm stressing out even at lessons what are chill idk how i'll handle math, chemistry or english or any subject. But well i don't rlly have a choice so, yeah. I just have to do this somehow.
And what abt u? u got school? and how are u, for real?
sending love and strenght
@Tsuk
It's ok dw dw, I just haven't seen you in a while and I missed you, just wanted to see how you were doing (:
I get how school can just become overwhelming, just don't be too hard on yourself, take care of yourself too ok? please? Even if you don't believe you can do it, I'll believe for you. ik you can do it. 🫂
Yeah i've started school already. I'm on my second week and somehow I'm already behind. 😅 Just kinda stressing about school but its nothing I'm not used to already so its fine. Just been crazy busy with things so that's affecting my school day too... so idk lol.
How am I? um... not doing so great tbh. Im barely surviving at this point...
@IzzyGamer
okay, i just myself don't like it when i'm the only one starting conversatons, so i figured.
i'll try. also same words back at you. we kind of just have to keep trying to take care. also so much thanks that u still check on me, it means a lot. thanks
so sad to hear it's hard for u too. i hope things get better, sending hugsssssssss
being already behind is relatable. But it's okay, you're dealing with a lot, ur doing great, i believe in u. t's okay
ur not alone, frienddddd tsukk is here with hedgehog huggies, please take care (:
@Tsuk
yw yw, no need to thank me, ofc I'm gonna check on you (:
thanks, I appreciate it.
Sonic the hedgehog? 🔵+🦔
you take lots of care too friend
@IzzyGamer
hi, sorry i haven’t been around.
Kind of haven’t had mental energy to reach out to and communicate with ppl other than real life ones. Sorry for that.
I feel glad you wrote tho.
I feel fine, but idk if i am. Mostly not sleeping much, on purpose, and doing school stuff is hard.
what about you? And please answer, truly and literally okay? 🫂
@Tsuk
Its okay don't apologize, I get it. Im just glad to hear from you (:
I hear you, even tho you say you're fine the lack of sleep can sometimes make things a lot harder. I do understand the not sleeping on purpose tho. Just take it slow, just know I'm proud of you for trying, ik its hard, but your doing your best and thats what matters.
tbh I don't really know how I am. things have been... chaotic. so much has happened in so little time its just overwhelming. its just crazy to think that I've been struggling with my mental health for over a year- that's its been a year since everything started. I've also been on cups for almost a year too which seems surreal to me. well tbh none of my life feels real not anymore anyways.
@IzzyGamer
thank u
and i hear u🫂
for me it also started about year ago. Or like the reasons started to build up at that time. Everything’s so different. I can totally relate to not life or things feeling not quite real🫂
@Tsuk
Ofc ofc 🫂
Its just so hard for me to believe how everything spiraled into this mess I call my life. I'll be okay tho. 🙃
@IzzyGamer i hope so, it will it will(:
also i’m in chats rn if i wanna come
@Tsuk
Me too.
I'm lurking in rooms actually I can go to sr tho.
@Tsuk
Hey (:
I feel like its been forever since I've seen you. How have you been?
@IzzyGamer
it really has been long. Thank you for reaching oit and sorry that i haven’t.
there’s been a lot going on. Honestly i’m not very well but also some things are kind of better. I mean i do not feel well. My parents now know abt everything. My mental health and sh. So it’s been hard normalizing that. And just i literally don’t study almost not at all anymore and i literally fail or delay most of the things. Almost everything. I do not like beung in school.
There’s some sorta pressure to get better. I also got bescribed anyidepressants but i haven’t started taking yhem cause i feel bad. Cause i do not entirely want to get better. Idk. There’s too much to tell at once.
sorry and thanks fpr space of ramble
How about you, how have you been?
@Tsuk
I'm sorry things haven't been so well for you lately. :/
It must have been hard when your parents found out about everything.. I can understand that bc that sorta happened to me a few months ago as well. School's just hard, and overwhelming sometimes so I get that. I don't like school much either lol.
I'm sorry that there's been pressure of needing to get better. I can def understand the feeling of not be certain whether you want to get better or not.
Idk how I've been tbh... I haven't really been doing so great. Im hanging in there I g.. I'm turning 16 on the 17th and idk how to feel abt it.
@IzzyGamer
i’m sure you’re doing your best. It’s gonna be okay. I hope things get easier and lighter for you soon enough. Hugs 🫂, we can do it, right?
Understandable to feel not sure abt birthdays when life doesn’t feel exactly great itself. I get it.
@Tsuk
Hugs 🫂 idk if I can do it anymore. Things have been so hard. I barely get through each day. Idk what I'm doing anymore. Idk how much longer I can do this for..
@IzzyGamer
you can. I get it. Each day is hard. Please. U can i believe in you. I’m always here for you
🫂🫂
@IzzyGamer
just getting hrough is okay now. It’s okat
@IzzyGamer
do you have school concelour or someone. Or any way to get any help? Since your parents know abt your stuff maybe the can help you find help? I know- you may not want to. I get it i have super mixed feelings with all that. And i know even if parents know then talking abt it is anither level i do don’t know how to reach. Just consider it? It is an option.
you’re never alone izzy (:
just remember that
@Tsuk
no, I don't have a school counselor. Im scared to ask my parents for help... When the found out about everything I felt judged and they made me feel like its just stuff I should get over. They didn't understand. I got put under so many restrictions it felt like I was being controlled. I tell them I'm fine bc I cant go through that again. I'm scared to tell them how bad things have gotten. I've always been hurt when I talk abt how I feel so I've just stopped doing it... I say I'm fine and bury how I feel bc its easier than being hurt again.
@IzzyGamer
i understand how you feel. Honestly. At some level at least. I know it’s hard. And it’s difficult to change your behavioural routines such as acting fine when not. Your brain chooses it cause it’s familiar way and it worked so far.
but yes, please just know that you’re never alone. I care about you. 🫂🫂
i know i’m not able to to much
@Tsuk
Thanks..🫂 yeah it's hard to change something that's already worked for so long.
@IzzyGamer
yeah
@IzzyGamer
Also btw i’m currently skipping German class in bathroom
@IzzyGamer
hi hi hru? Just letting you know i’m here always. Take care of urself🫂🫂
Heyy, it's been a while. How've you been? Are you already done with school? I hope things have been going alright for you.
@Tsuk
Mb forgot the tag lol.
@IzzyGamer
hey, yeah it’s been a while. I’ve gotten through i guess. I’m not yet done with school- and it is going pretty badly. I may not pass the grade. I try to get some work done to do pass- i have like few days i guess?.. i’m not sure i’m confused myself. School otherwise will end with this week.
And well some other stress and anxiety triggers and loneliness as always. Idk.
And how about you?
@Tsuk
I'm sorry that things haven't been going so great for you :/
I get that school can be really overwhelming, hopefully you will be able to pass the grade, I believe that you can do it.
Maybe with school ending this week it could be something to look forward too? Maybe to do something to give yourself a bit of a break from it all.
I've been hanging in there I guess. Things have been really hard, just doing my best to get through each day.
@IzzyGamer
i’m sorry things have been hard for you. But glad to hear you’re hanging in there as much as you can, i’m proud of you. Hugss
@Tsuk
Hugs🫂 thanks
@Tsuk
Hey hey!
I just wanted to wish you a very happy birthday! (I hope I remembered the day correctly). It's pretty crazy to think that 2 years have already gone by since the first time I've met you. Time moves by way to quickly lol.
I'm not good when it comes to words but I just wanted to tell you how proud I am of you. I know things haven't been easy but you've proven just how strong you are just by making it this far. You are enough and you deserve to be here. Your doing better than you think. I'm so happy I got the chance to meet you. Since I can't give you like a physical gift I wrote you a poem instead. This isn't my usual style of writing so it may not be any good, but here it is:
A day that comes but once a year.
Your day of birth a time for cheer.
We hop and shout and jubilation.
And sing a song for the celebration.
A day that comes but once a year.
It shows you've made it you've persevered.
Through your worst and through your best.
I've watched you fight, this is no jest.
A day that comes but once a year.
18 years of life on earth, that's no small thing I must revere.
But I need you to know that you are enough.
Your still standing here but I know it's been rough.
A day that comes but once a year.
The light is coming, the ending is near.
Keep your head in the stars and I know you'll excell.
Believe in yourself and your fears will repel.
A day that comes but once a year.
So light the candles and sing with cheer.
For your birthday is special and you make it complete.
It is time to celebrate your amazing feat. (:
Happy birthday again and I truly do hope that if things aren't going so great for you now that it gets better. You absolutely deserve to be happy and to be able to live your life to the fullest. Just remember that you matter, and that your life has meaning, don't ever let anyone tell you otherwise.
I also can't for the life of me remember how far apart our timezones are from each other so this could honestly be really early or really late 🙃
@IzzyGamer
thank you so so much Izzy! It means so much that you remembered (like the day of my birthday, it’s crazy, i never remember this stuff(when is your birthday???)) plus took time to write to me that long, i’m honestly so moved!
I do have to correct tho, i wasn’t even in 7cups 2 years ago, as far as i remember. I came here last april, a bit more than year ago. So i guess we may know each other for a year?
And you didn’t mess up with the time zone, 6h ago it was 9am morning for me. Eight now it’s 15:23 (pls let me know which clock time do you use, pm and am or just bigger numbers, also it woukd be nice to figure out or time zone differences(: )
I love you Izzy you are so so great, i’m happy i met you too. I’m proud of you too, so freaking proud🌼
heheh thank you again very much, it’s weird, i’m 18!… lets keep in touch in this forum
🦔🦔🦔🦔🦔🦔🦔🦔🦔🦔🦔🦔🦔🦔
@Tsuk
of course! (: You had mentioned it in a forum some time last year so I made sure to remember. My birthday was 17 March.
Im in mountain daylight time zone so at the time of writing this its 9:44 am.
I hope that you had a good day overall and had a good birthday. (:
@IzzyGamer
oh happy very late birthday!
And thank you. My day was quite fun but also exhausting- what happend when you actually do stuff i guess. Yet i still end up kind of dull or sad. It’s 00:11 now. Am
@Tsuk
Thank you (:
I'm glad you had a good day overall, I get still feeling kinda sad though.
What did you do?
@IzzyGamer
we went out with family. First ate at home(homemade came too), and then gone with car to a ride to some cave thing(sand mine or smth) and then out to eat and quick stop at our country home, when ot was already going dark and arrived to home like half an hour before i posted the last form here. Pretty late.
@Tsuk
Wow that does sound like a lot.. but it also sounds like a lot of fun too. I'm glad you enjoyed it. I hope you can get some rest soon as well.
@IzzyGamer
thank you
Hey, how're you doing? Oldie side treating you well I hope? I miss you being here on tennie side, doesn't feel the same. 🙃
@IzzyGamer
i miss teenie side too, it was so sincere. I’m not much in chatrooms here on oldie side, mostly forums. It’s fine here.
when will you be on oldie side?
@Tsuk
I wont age up for like another 2 years. 🫠
@IzzyGamer
alight well we’ll see in chatrooms then
