Smackmeisters: Slappers of Slappingdale, Order of the Exalted SmackyMcGee
@Amanda84
I'm going to overcome my anxiety and try Uber in a couple weeks. I'm really scared for no reason lol. My anxiety tells me to be. I don't know. But I'm trying guys! Made a dentist appointment, and planned a few things for myself.
Yay! Uber is so easy. I use it all the time! I just chill on my phone while they drive me around lol
Ooh what things???? <3
@jesusredeemedme2425
Well I have an concert I'm going to alone in November. I'm going to a comic convention next month. And the dentist thing too. Thinking about joining an art class... I want to date but I don't really know if I'm ready. Just feel like it would be a new experience and I've always wanted to have someone but I'm afraid it'd just be disappointing or I'd be too nervous to be myself.
Whoa... I've never been to a concert alone. <3
OOH YES DO ART!!!!
I'd wait on focusing on dating. Primarily because you might find someone AWESOME at these events! Hehe. Let it happen naturally <3
@agreeableSkies9889
Art class sounds great! Do you have a medium in mind?
@carefulEast6708
I always wanted to learn oil painting
@agreeableSkies9889
Ooh oil painting! The colors are so vibrant and you have so much control with oil paints .. what subjects would you paint?
@carefulEast6708
I don't know. I haven't actually joined an art class, I'd just like too. But I would like to paint sci Fi land scapes and space ships and maybe some animals
@agreeableSkies9889
Could you do Star Wars fan fic art? Is that a thing?
@carefulEast6708
Yeah it's a thing lol ☺️
@SmackyMcGee
Too early for good night. Hehe
@jesusredeemedme2425
Sameeeee hehe
@jesusredeemedme2425
💛
What are you guys creating lately? <3
@jesusredeemedme2425
Not much rn but I'm getting a new sketchbook so hopefully that'll give me inspiration
Draw your new life. <3
@jesusredeemedme2425
I like to cook! We belong to a CSA and every week we get a box of random vegetables and I figure out what to do with them. There's always a couple things I wouldn't consider buying, like beets and kale, but I have found dishes we like with them.
CSA?
That sounds cool! What do you make with the berts and kale?? <3
@jesusredeemedme2425
I like to chop beets up, then roast them with chickpeas, and then dust them with spices and zested orange peel. In October I roast the beets with carrots and chopped potatoes; the beets stain the edges of the potatoes and the carrots look like fingers so it good for Halloween
I am not a fan of kale; it's like eating green plastic. We have a couple recipes we like - tortellini soup, macaroni and cheese and sausage and kale - where the kale gets boiled to death and adds some color. And of course adding kale instantly makes any dish good for you🙄.
I've heard of people making kale chips. Try that?
@jesusredeemedme2425
I have not tried kale chips. A friend of mine thinks their great. What do you think?
Not a fan. Lol
@SmackyMcGee
New question for the group: what is your dream summer vacation? Mountains? Beach? City?
I like to be the woods, mountains, lakes ... someplace quiet and peaceful where you can here the wind in the trees, the air is fresh and not too hot, the birds are singing, and every now and then an interesting critter -- otter, heron, a doe with fawns - pops up unexpectedly.
I'm not a huge vacation person, but I do love woods and mountains <3
I would happily take any of the above.
Hey guys! I'm making progress!
I'm trying Uber for the first time on Tuesday and going to see spider man in the theater by myself. I'm a little nervous ngl but hopefully it isn't as big of a deal as I think. I'm also going to a comic convention next Sunday. Wish me luck 🤞
Oooh, comic conventions are fun! You got this!
Uber is super easy! Ooh comics hehe
I didn't do Uber guys. I tried twice and I'm too anxious about it 😭
You're letting your head win. You can't. Your brain is a liar <3
@jesusredeemedme2425
I'm trying. It's really hard. I want to do all these adult things like dating, going to college and stuff but my anxiety is really really really bad... I'm trying to get over this... Maybe I'll just do it when I have a reason too but idk... Not having a car sucks but I also would probably be even more freaked if I did drive lol
Do you have a friend you could Uber with? That would make it so much easier. You could Uber to somewhere fun so its more motivating. Maybe a local arcade? <3
How is everyone doing today?
@agreeableSkies9889
I'm good, thank you, how are you? 🩷
@Amanda84
Really good 👍 I went to a comic convention for my bday and got to meet some of my favorite authors and got so cool stuff. Listen to my favorite Black Sabbath albums right now 😁
@agreeableSkies9889
I'm so glad you had a great birthday so, makes me happy to hear 💛
@agreeableSkies9889
Happy birthday! I'm so glad to hear about the comic convention! Sounds like you had a great time 😃
Guy's, I feel like I'm legit having a break down. Ate so much tonight I feel sick. My body is making me feel really sad. I wish I was a girl 😞 I feel gross. I've been arguing with people on Reddit just to feel anything. I tried texting Trevor project but they were busy 😞 I don't want to call 988 and I don't know. I just feel so ***. I have to close tomorrow and I'll probably get no sleep tonight... Genuinely thinking about talking to a listener which I never do because I feel so crap
I'm here, sweetheart <3 Talk to me <3
@jesusredeemedme2425
It's just everything. I can't with myself anymore. I have been dealing with terrible depression and anxiety all my life and recently it's gotten way worse. My family is sick of hearing it. I'm legit going through a really bad identity crisis. Wanting to the other gender has been really bothering me and recently I have got a crush on someone who is in their 50's when I'm only 22. I feel like there's something deeply wrong with me and my night mares from my SA have gotten way worse recently. Also I keep thinking of when my uncle slapped my *** and grabbed it and how small and helpless I felt to say anything
Im so sorry... There's absolutely nothing you did to deserve that. He was a p**v. He should have been arrested. You are a survivor and I'm proud of you! <3
I totally understand. My PTSD has gotten really bad recently. Cringing when there's zero threat.
What do you think would be one tiny step you could do to improve all this? Like the tiniest step ever.
@jesusredeemedme2425
Just making through the night would be a win in my book. I really want to talk to my mom... But... I just don't know... I don't know how she would react...
I can still feel sensations around my body from things that happened to me...
I feel so much shame about this crush too. She's legitimately an amazing woman and the most I have ever connected to someone... But I never thought I could feel this for someone so much older than me... I feel like there's something wrong with me like deeply wrong with me. Why can't I just not
Why can't I just force myself to not feel something.
I don't know what to do about it. She's so amazing and like me in every way.
Sorry about the slow response, I was doing something.
If you're in crisis fr, you really should contact 988. I like texting them. It helps <3
Please dont do anything to hurt yourself...
Talk to her. Its better than this eating you alive.
Im so sorry... I still have physical flashbacks from trauma. And to this day, idk what's causing it.
Does she like you?
@jesusredeemedme2425
Idk... We talk everyday sometimes for hours at a time and she gets really excited when I text her... I wrote her a song and she said she listened to it for half the night. Idk. I mean. It's hard to tell when it's online. Her voice always sounds very excited but... Idk if the thought has crossed her mind... She has a lot going on and is pretty lonely. I'm safe from hurting myself for now though I am pretty upset that I let go and ate a bunch at the end of the day.
Hey. I'd rather you binge than hurt yourself. <3
@jesusredeemedme2425
I guess you're right... I just feel really nauseous the day after... But I know it hurts people around me more when I hit or cut.
I just... It's the dysphoria and crush at the same time that are bothering me... I don't know what to do... I genuinely think she is amazing... And I know it probably won't happen... I still want to tell her... But I don't know how much it'd change things... And I just really badly want to wear a skirt outside my bedroom lol. At least my hair is getting longer
Maybe set a limit next time?
It would hurt me if you hurt yourself. :(
Is there somewhere near you where LGBTQ+ people hang, where you could wear a skirt without feeling judged?
@jesusredeemedme2425
There probably is, I've always been too nervous. I'm most afraid of my family know and I live with them... Idk... I want to tell my mom but I don't know how...
I'm going to buy a new skirt so that's something to better myself I guess lol...
You're gonna have to. This is eating you alive. Honesty will make you feel so much better <3
Thrift shoppinggggggg hehe
FYI, I'm going to bed in a few <3 But I'll be here tomorrow <3
Going to bed, night <3
What's one tiny thing you can do rn to ground yourself?
Grounding is hard but I listen to music a lot... I'm listening to music RN and it's helping a lot
Ooh, give me some music suggestions <3 Have you tried the HTTYD soundtrack???? <3
@agreeableSkies9889
Hey, Skies, how you feeling? <3
@jesusredeemedme2425
Ok. I have work to keep me distracted tonight. I just feel like I'm falling apart lol... But I feel a little better than yesterday.
I want you to do one thing today that you really love doing, and report back <3
Did you sleep?
Idk I feel like I'm being eaten alive from the inside out. I want to tell my mom how I've been feeling but I'm soo scared
Write her a letter.
You NEED to do this, Skies.
@jesusredeemedme2425
You're right... I'll tell you how it goes after
Do it soon. Don't procrastinate. <3
@jesusredeemedme2425
I'll try I'm really scared 🫂
Youll be ok <3
Hi everyone I was wondering if anyone is available to chat? I had been doing well but things are difficult now and I feel alone. Nothing bad is happening I am just alone and can't seem to handle that very well lately.
Absolutely! Ill be in and out FYI <3
@jesusredeemedme2425
Thanks! I got some sleep but now I am awake with insomnia.. don't do well with noise anymore..
Is there a lot of noise around you?
@jesusredeemedme2425
There's a lot of road and train noise. Right now the air conditioning is running and that's even noisier..but I am just wide awake now. Been awake for at least an hour.
I would love to be in your taglist! Thank you!
Also, would you like me to add you to my taglist? <3