azurePondering with a Bear
@azurePond
The azure pond that once was bare, has now been overflowing around with care. A friend for me and a friend for you, when will Tiny attack us two. When in doubt don't be drought, all your notions will soon flow out!
@7Bear7 what's up Bear? How are you now?
@azurePond
Hungry, lol
Umm I am a lot better, wise words from a friend, reading the Bible, sleep, reading some fanfiction, and just taking a moment to breathe all helped a lot. Still probably a little stressed or wound up but a lot better, thank you for your part in helping!
What about you? How are you doing?
@7Bear7 I am scared of hungry, Bears😭
I am glad that you are better... also know that it is totally ok to still feel lost, you dont need to answer all the questions in a day.
Me..? well.. I made some big decisions and now I feel settled.
I decided to take a study break ( I already was on a break but still). Maybe I will drop my Masters degree. Because of my mental health and also because I may change my current views on my career path. Things like that.
@azurePond
Fair nuff, but I mostly eat chicken so you're probably safe.
yeah definitely still a little lost but hoping things will clear up this year, especially as I try to get closer with God.
Big decisions, fair nuff, glad you are feeling settled (I think that's a good thing) hope things can be clear and bright on your chosen path.
Taking a study break can be smart, I hope it can be good for you. I don't know your situation or what you are/were studying but I hope and pray it will turn out good for you.
Thank you and have a blessed day Pond!
@7Bear7 Do Bears eat chicken?
@7Bear7 Bear, do you like rain?
@azurePond
Yeppers peppers! I will sit outside in it sometimes but momma says not to so if I do go outside I stay under something for her. I also love watching lightning, but the sound and appearance of rain is better. It's always lovely when it's raining at night.
What about you? Do you like rain?
@7Bear7 I see..Aaah I am not a fan of rain. I like that gray- dark sky before the rain
@azurePond
Fair enough, there are times it can be annoying but most of the time I think it's pretty, or pleasant, a friend that only comes around rarely but when it does it soaks all the way through fully with you giving you everything in full honest. Or that's how I see it.
@7Bear7
The gray dark sky is one of the things I love the most about it cuz the world finally seems dark enough. I must have sensitive eyes cuz I like the lights off and curtains closed, sometimes I wear sunglasses inside or after the sun sets but there is still light. So when it's dark and rainy I can go out the see the world without squinting or having bright glare.
@7Bear7 Valid!!
@7Bear7 OHH IT's YOUUUU! I mean... I know it is you Bear.... but youre the one who says “fair enough”!
@azurePond
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂
That's hilarious especially the part about your brother asking and you not knowing!
I do something similar, except people don't notice mine cuz I can't always speak right. Like I want to say 'grab the remote?" And instead it comes out "grab the potatoes?" Sometimes I don't even know what I was trying to say and it can get frustrating and other times I don't even notice I did it.
But when I pick up and us peoples phrases it's either something weird from TV/anime or something normal enough around where I live. So only really people notice if it's a phrase from another language.
Real example, I picked up on Kakashi's "jaane or じゃあね" which is a informal bye like ciao or later. I started saying that and my family got really confused. 😅
じゃあね Pond 🩵
@7Bear7
Also I take that as a high compliment that you talk with me enough to do that! 🩵
@7Bear7 Fair enough.... 🤣 it was a compliment!
@7Bear7 Grab the potato 🤣🤣... sometimes my brain glitches. Being multilingual means I occasionally forget the name of a thing in every language I know.... or I just end up mixing them all with English and hoping for the best...like I was running late so j’ai pris un sandwich and jumped onto l’autobus..thats english plus french plus italian. Also when I get angry or stressed I switch languages and rant.
You should listen to Ado's song 'Elf' it's translation into English vaguely reminds me of your poetry, or perhaps less your poetry but the melancholic style and respect for the topic of the poetry?
You should also listen to 'Eien no Akuruhi' one of my favorites, it was even playing at my graduation party as part of my slide show thing.
Do you have any favorite music artists or songs?
Later for meow Pond, love ya and take care 🩵
@7Bear7 I listened to Elf. It is beautiful and yes..it fits my poetry... Thank you, Bear🥹
@azurePond
Thank you for listening. It's so beautiful, her voice is so pretty and she has so much control of it! I thought it fit the vibe. You're welcome Pond 🩵
@7Bear7 I loved it sooo thank you for recommending it <3
@7Bear7 Meow loves you too, Bear...okay since when do bears meow?..haha!!
@azurePond
Since right meow! 😂
@7Bear7
PS I am going to sleep now, sorry. I am tired and actually sleep, sorta. Want to talk but need sleep more sadly.
Goodnight Pond ! 🩵
@7Bear7 Meowgnight, sleep tight! Bear <3
@7Bear7 ooh that’s purr-fect!
@azurePond
Yep it's paw-fict! 🎉
@7Bear7 I do not have favourite artists or songs, Bear. I have moods and songs that fit those moods.. and it can be diverse.
Today, I have been listening to - the James Bond theme songs lol
The writings on the wall.. Skyfall and No time to die.. Just these 3 on repeat
@azurePond
That's understandable,
Those are some pretty good songs to play on repeat! Noice!
@7Bear7 Do you ever come across two completely different songs like different tones, singers even vibes but they somehow feel like a dual POV? Like they’re telling two sides of the same story? For eg, James Arthur’s Car's Outside and Taylor Swift’s Come Back Be Here.. no ? just me?
@azurePond
I do that too, but now that I try to think of some I can't.
As proof I wrote this when epppss
I am gonna posts here
Bed for tomorrow when I get it aos.e finas ils helps and pats
It
At the bottom of the valley my journey ends
It's time untold, for the party of one,
A castle keep down dark and deep,
ohh it's shadows do lurk and leak
A crystal ball or looking glass,
is ohh so near within my grasp
A touch of steel and gasp of breath
Has brought me fear of my unseen death
The ball revealed, untouched and sealed,
It's reflection warps and weels, then turns and seals
Fate
Fate
Fate
Three rolls of bells
For
Through the looking glass, I saw my death §
@7Bear7 Bear...are u ok? maybe I read it wrong but "a touch of steel and gasp of breath"... felt like s3l h@rm
@azurePond
Well, that's a hard one to answer, when I wrote it I was fine, I think. Anyways I definitely was fine when I had the concept for the poem. The poem was supposed to reflect the futility of searching for your fate. It highlighted that as soon as the man got the chance to truly see it from something not his heart (the crystal ball) all that was left for him is death. I didn't highlight why there was death, maybe the story part of it would be a guardian, but generally in life or IRL story's it's time they just don't think they have time left. The poem was supposed to be ironic in that he clearly knew his fate, he should feel the steel on his throat, but instead of magic painting his fate in the ball, it was just a his reflection, his death.
But now I am less okie, had some bad nights, barely slept at all last night, the first time I truly feel asleep was 7 am. Tho I got some more between that and noon. Also had a headache, stomach issues and all around not feeling good today. Because you sorta asked, I did do a little bit of SH last night, hopefully that's not triggering. It was just no one one anything, or anyone awake and all I had was elusive sleep, bad habits and dark thoughts, probably should have read my Bible or prayed or woke somebody up but I didn't think of it , sorry.
Also not doing the best tonight, but a little better then this morning/yesterday, gonna try and work this peom into something presentable.
IDK what to say, that was a weird question that was hard to answer, because of when I answered, not the question itself . So thank you for asking, it means well I am not sure what but it means something 🩵
@7Bear7 Did my question trigger you, Bear?
You can answer honestly
@azurePond
No, not even close, I didn't even see it till after, which just gave me the problem of how to answer.
I asked myself "do I answer for how I was when she asked me, or do I answer for how I am now."
Seeing neither as a good option I decided to answer both ways.
@7Bear7 And I appreciate you answering with honesty. How are you feeling right now? do you want to talk about it or do you want me to change the subject or let's play the questions.. like ask me questions ( I will answer the answerable ones)...whatever you feel like
@7Bear7 I get the sense there's a lot going on in your life right now and not just the changes from your sister's wedding but something deeper too. Whatever it is, I pray that God protects you and gives you strength through the storm. You’ll always be in my prayers. Take care of yourself. I love you, Bear <3
@azurePond
Thanks, I've been praying for you too Pond.
Hey Bear, where are you? More importantly..... how are u, really? If you need space that’s ok too. Just checking in.... idk what else to do or talk to u to make u feel better. I prayed for u and I hope that it worked and that u r in a better space emotionally. Sooooo Bear.... do you like piano music? You should listen to Clair de Lune. It's so dreamy… kind of happy but also a little sad. I think you might really relate to it - like moonlight with feelings.
@azurePond Also Chopin's nocturne op 9 no 2
@azurePond Beethoven's moonlight sonata 1st movement.. my favourite
@azurePond
I have heard it but need to re listen because I can barely remember it
@azurePond
I don't remember specifically listening to this one, I'll listen to it in a bit, or tomorrow depending on when I decide I can actually sleep probably now actually?
@azurePond
I had a much better day today, still have trouble sleeping but this time it's more my fault then normal 😶. Uhhh but yah lot better day, got some small cleaning done and cooked dinner for da fam. Watched a few episodes of "to be hero X" with my oldest sister M and my dad, that was fun!
Clair da Lune is one of the best! I like it a lot, and canon in d is another good piano one, very different vibe but still very pretty!
@7Bear7 I’m so glad to hear you had a better day! 😄 Even if sleep is still being tricky. Cleaning, cooking and family anime time all sound like a solid win. To Be Hero X with M and your dad must’ve been such a fun vibe!
And yesss...Clair de Lune is pure magic. Canon in D is such a classic too, it has that calm, almost ceremonial beauty. Totally different moods but both give you that “close your eyes and breathe” feeling
@azurepond
Hey, I tried posting to you last night, but phone did a glitch and got rid of everything I typed, and I didn't feel up to trying to rewrite it. So her goes attempt 2.
The other night I was reading some poetry on her and found one of or at least part of one of those questions. It's something deep and very personal to faith, so I don't feel comfortable sharing it yet. I am going to talk to my father about it at some point, and possibly some other respected people of faith, and test everything to God's word. Thank you for understanding.
Also you're right and also wrong(?). I am sorta going through more than just dealing with my sisters wedding. There were definitely a lot emotions and memories during it and the prep for it, but they also domino effected with some other emotions, I can't really name what they are or how they felt, it was just strong very strong.
Also I am sorta going through some stuff dealing with romance, lust, and love. Feeling them, wanting them, and hating them (wanting nothing to do with them. Each one of them comes with their own struggles and fights. Some of it I am okay talking about some of them I am not, and some of them I don't feel is right or appropriate to talk to a woman about. So if you want to ask questions you can but I reserve the right to not answer without explanation. Once again thank you for understanding.
On the last note, where are you? Are you okay? I haven't heard from you for awhile, hoping you're doing good. Please stay safe, healthy, and take care of yourself Pond.
Talk to you at some point hopefully. Goodnight for now 🫡 🩵
@7Bear7 Hey Bear, first o all apologies for the late reply.
Secondly...thanks for sharing this with me....even attempt #2 after your phone ate attempt #1 I get how hard it can be to rewrite something once you’ve already put the emotional energy into it the first time.
I completely respect your choice to keep certain things private right now especially when they’re deeply tied to your faith and something you’re still processing. I think it’s wise that you’re planning to talk with your father and others you trust. Honestly I am no expert in this so there is no master Azurewaay wise quotes to deal with it.
It also makes sense that your sister’s wedding stirred up more than just wedding related feelings... sometimes big events crack open deeper emotions we weren’t even expecting. I remember pu.nching my cousin during my aunt’s wedding... so trust me — you’re handling your emotions waaaay better than I did during a wedding.
And I hear you on the romance/lust/love part...those are complicated, messy and often contradictory all at once. I’ll respect your boundaries about what you do or don’t feel is right to share and I won’t push. Also, not an expert on this.
I’m ok... I guess. Oh and I also moved — as in, changed countries. I’m with my grandparents now (my mother's parents).. not that I am living with my grandparents.. I am in the same city as them... which is why I’ve been off 7 Cups. Just busy moving and settling in.
@azurePond
Don't worry, I took longer with this reply.
You're welcome, sorry it took me so long to refigure out how to reply.
Thank you for understanding, I am still working on the talking to my father about it. It can be hard to find a time, hard to have the courage as well.
Yeah there were some bug emotions during the wedding, and they kinda dominoed some other emotions down and around.
😶 Noted. . . Don't go to a wedding with Puddles, at least not without boxing equipment.
"those are complicated, messy and often contradictory all at once." Very true on all accounts.
thanks,
"I’m ok... I guess. Oh and I also moved — as in, changed countries. I’m with my grandparents now (my mother's parents).. not that I am living with my grandparents.. I am in the same city as them... which is why I’ve been off 7 Cups. Just busy moving and settling in."
Wow, that's something all right. I know the 1-2 times I moved with my family it wasn't all fun, had some very unpleasant moments. Hope it's going as smoothly as moving can go. You're good, take your time. Hope your still doing okay, or actually better than okay, hope your doing good.
Love ya talk to you later, 🩵
@7Bear7 Beeaaaarrrr… first of all, I’m soooooooooo so sorry! The move had me swamped and the moment I got here—BAM !!...fever. I know right?!!! And when I’m sick, I basically become the most useless human alive, needing help to even breathe and yes I get ridiculously dramatic about it. All thanks to the rain too—this is the kind of place where it pours and I’m the kind of person who thinks umbrellas are for the weak. Soooo yeah… I couldn’t log into 7cups at all. Still in recovery mode… aaaaaahhh!
@azurePond
OOf , that's never fun, getting sick after something like a move double Oof . Hope you feel better, also don't worry ya good tak e your time. As for being dramatic, I get sorta dramatic?? I generally just go sleep mode and sleep for seventeen hours lay in bed for another 4 and spend three hours eating, contemplating whys it's worth to live while sick, how to get better faster, and trying to breathe without deiing
@7Bear7
Sorry my typing is trash, I am sleepy and typing fast and about correct hates me
Anyways I might be on a bit longer but I need to get up earlier tomorrow, so I need to sleep pretty soon
Night night piponds
@7Bear7 good night good night..sweet dreams sweet Bear!
@7Bear7 “Contemplating why it’s worth living while sick".......... Ooooh true sooo true. IKR? We really don’t thank our noses enough yk —just free and breathing. I had nose blocks and wheezing… it was a whole mess.
Pond, how shattered would my mind have to be for you to abandon me?
Hmmm, that seems a dangerous way to ask the question yet I wonder how you'll respond or it, concern or curiosity? How will you interpret my words, their implied tones, the sentence structure, how do you react to a genuine question that is out of the blue, and yet still honestly asked, but carefully crafted?
@7Bear7
I apologize for the weird and rude question, I was having a very weird night. I was reading one of those high level genius mind games type of thing, like Sherlock Holmes or class room of the elite. I guess I was also contemplating myself and how easy it is to push some in just the right spots so they shatter and fall apart into something or someone they don't want to be. Looking back I think I was also feeling lonely, and different.
Once again apologies for asking such a out of the blue question without even acknowledging your own posts, seems kinda rude looking back on it so sorry.
Peace 🩵
@7Bear7 THAT WAS NOT A WEIRD OR RUDE QUESTION. NO NEED TO APOLOGISE AT ALLL!!!!
@azurePond
I feel like it was a little bit weird, and definitely rude to ask without answering your posts first
@7Bear7 it's ok... we dont have to be that formal!
@7Bear7 If you’re shattered like dust, I’ll be the wind—gathering every piece, shaping them into a dune in the desert. I won’t abandon you, Bear
Love you <3
@azurePond
Dude ,that was like the most graceful answer ever, like a swan swooping over a lake.
@7Bear7
Tw ummm death? Fictional TV murder? Ect??
But seriously, as a example (and only a example if I ever got that broken I just would cry or something) but like cereal k!ller (stabbing the breakfast boxes level! 😱) lever shattered surly that's far enough? But then again if I got that far I would probably have dropped your first hince it's a invalid point from the illogical ness of it, but it was a extremely example so it kinda works??? Mayhaps? Ya know I grew up watching things like NCIS, bones, and other cop/agency investigation shows so we would light heartedly discuss about how that was a bad way to take that guy out, or man he could have offed himself better ya know? Maybe my mind is too curious to it's own good? IDK
@azurePond
Also love ya too, tanks for every thing ! 🩵
@7Bear7 Love you too 💙Thank YOU my friend
Hey Bear, quick question... do u listen to kpop?
@azurePond
Some occasionally, I mostly Listen to J-pop.
Question from me, have you seen K-pop demon hunters?
@7Bear7 
YASS I WAS GOING TO ASK THAT ..... YOU READ MY MIND!!!… Z made me watch it like two days ago. I think he’s seen it a dozen times already before making me watch it, lol. I’m not really familiar with the whole K pop industry or the culture… I’ve mostly watched K dramas because of my sister and Z, so it was quite a trip ngl. The songs are all catchy, especially the shoulder movement in the dance.
@azurePond
Yooooo I actually did read your mind!!!!! I was like, I have been thinking about asking that for a almost a week now, but hadn't cuz reasons, and then I was like
That's what she is about to ask! Let me steal the thunder! ⚡
Anyways yeah, I have seen the movie twice now, and plan to do so a few more times in the next month or soo. I am also really attached to the songs, mostly golden and what it sounds like. They kinda feel like poetry, and honestly are really nice to listen to and stuff...
I mean I like all the songs a lot, currently listening to your idol while typing this part, so yeah, really really enjoyed the movie. Z sounds like a good person, cuz the movie honestly might end up being my favorite, idk tho, I can almost never pick a favorite for stuff, one of the few things are colors I can I have a favorite color,. But the it's really good. Ummmm I am rambling ummm free is also a good song it's playing right now, is it weird I relate more to Rumi than Jinu? Like I relate to both a lot, but Rumi more so? Maybe cuz Jinu actually accepted more of himself? IDK
Anyways what's your favorite song from it, or at least which one do you wanna talk about? Picking favorites is hard especially with these options.
Talk later Pond ! Love ya 🩵
@7Bear7 Are you one of those demons too, Bear? Reading minds now, are we? Hahaha. I totally get that “having no reason to ask” thing — I was like... alright... Bear seems like the kind of person who’d be into J pop and animated films soooo let me throw in K pop and then introduce the K pop demon hunters. Hahaha! Glad we’re on the same wavelength.
My thunder has been well and truly stolen, Mr Lightning Thief ⚡
Ooh.... you’ve watched it twice?! Noiiiceee. I’ve only seen it once but it’s already become one of my comfort movies. I laughed so much, Bear.... it was soooo funny (also, sad.. but we are not talking about the ending)
And yes the music is absolutely top tier. Honestly, if the Saja boys were real, we’d all be cooked. They even broke BTS’s record! “Golden” is a solid track but my favourite is the “ Idol” song. I really love the rhyme scheme in that one — choir, higher, desire, rely on — so good. And that line “You gave me your heart but now I’m here for your soul”… chills, Bear. Literal CHILLS.
And yeah Z is the best (I may be biased but MEH)
I totally get not being able to settle on one favourite. I’m like that too — ask me my favourite colour and I don’t really have one. Sure, I might say blue or green but it depends on my mood. And it also depends on what it’s for — like... if you’re asking me about painting a wall, then my favourite would be white or neutrals or pastels.
Ooh you related to Rumi? I think we all do, in a way. Rumi’s part demon, hunting demons, unable to fully accept herself — caught in an internal moral conflict. That’s something we can all relate to, because everyone has a part of themselves they hide or feel ashamed of. And Jinu… his sacrifice still haunts me.
“Free” is just packed with feels. Those singers are insanely talented — the voices behind it all are unreal.
Anyway, talk to you later, Bear.
Love you too 💙 Take care.
@azurepond
How art thou Pond? hope your feeling better!
@7Bear7 
I'm good, Bear. How are you?
@azurePond
I am doing, yeah best words I can use.
Lol umm idk, how are you feeling? Hope it's better then before and your slaying the sickness like Mira slays demons!
Me, idk I was taking pictures in a more feminine outfit earlier now I am just being awake cuz sleep hates me.
@7Bear7 I’m doing… lol. That pretty much sums up my life right now. I’m working on something too, though I’ve no idea how it’ll all add up in the grand scheme of things. * Alright Azure, no existential crisis in the kitchen today… not again*
Ooh that sounds amazing—you’re into femme styling! Do you take inspiration from Pi.nterest or do you just go with your own personal style? And may I ask.... do you have a style icon?
Sometimes I forget we’re in different time zones, Bear… ughhh
@azurePond
Sometimes just doing, is okay, hope whatever you're working on turns out great and the grandiose scheme of things!
"* Alright Azure, no existential crisis in the kitchen today… not again*" honestly if you're using the existential crisis that Google told me, then that's way better than I thought. 😭😭 My stupid mind translated that to breakdown and I got a little worried, like still no the best but better, hope you can find what you're searching for.
"Ooh that sounds amazing—you’re into femme styling!" Ummm sorta? I like feminine and androgynous clothes cuz they are more comfy and look cute. I only in like the past year (wow I guess it been almost a year on and off now) trying to take care of and do things for myself (sorta, I mean I have always done things for myself, but there was always a need to show someone else or belong to someones rules. And honestly while I don't fully know what's the difference it feels different somehow, like I am doing something for me rather than doing something for someone else that helps me?) I am still sorta figuring it out, I have wanted to wear more feminine/androgynous clothes for like 7-9 months, but only really trying to get/make/buy some in the past 3. So honestly I don't have much or really have a style, just the enjoyment of it, sorta?
"Do you take inspiration from Pi.nterest or do you just go with your own personal style?" Ehh I don't really have much to make or follow much of a style.
"And may I ask.... do you have a style icon?" ehh not really??? Sorta ? Idk I like softer outfits one male or female, like even when you go full suit and tie kinda things, I prefer the softer less sharp colors and edges, just a cooler vibe? Idk
"Sometimes I forget we’re in different time zones, Bear… ughhh" ughhhhh indeed, very annoying sometimes cuz I want to sleep or am asleep and miss you, but also funny cuz everyone once in awhile it can help me cuz I meet you at night when my ruminating is the worst and you help me calm down, like a soothing Puddle or Pond, it's nice.
Had a bad day hope that didn't come across in my message,
Have a good one Pond! Hugs! 🩵
@7Bear7 Ooh Bear, I didn’t see this earlier, SOOO SORRY for the late reply!
@azurePond
Pond, don't worry. Seriously I have seen your replys but just not felt up to replying to almost anyone or anything so being a little doesn't really matter.
@azurepond
Hey, how was your day?
@7Bear7 The day’s been treating me well so far. I had breakfast on time, took my meds, went for a walk (still not running...maybe start from next week) journaled, wrote a few poems, watched the news and even did some freelance job hunting. Right now, I’m just lying on the couch listening to music and browsing 7 cups... Actually, I’m waiting for a guest—my grandfather arranged for her to help me with chores so I’ve got to meet her and explain how I like things done.
@azurePond
aounds like a pretty nice day, hope you can get to running soon, but don't push! Journaling sounds nice, I can't ever figure out how to do it *shrug* maybe I should look up some guides? Poems nice, I have sorta had a block on writing recently, the demon hunters songs have made it difficult along with just a very weird/different/plain week or two. freelance? What kinda work do you do or looking for? is it a comfy couch? What music are you listening to? wait so I'm confused, is that like a maid or cleaning lady that you pay, or like a something else that my American mind doesn't understand?
sounds noice, what kinda food? i cant really say I missed any scoldings (I still think about a bunch of mine and get weird feelings?) but to each their own, honestly might be a healthy sign to miss them??? Idk. I hope your not half what used to be! You might overwhelm me with your exuberance ! Lol (seriously tho, try and stay healthy! I know it's hard sometimes) man that's super duper sweet! You sure I can't borrow her as a godmother for a weekend? Jk
"How about you? How’s your day been?" Ahh there the question, it's been a bad day on my scale of days. Sadly, mostly frustrating and quiet, I don't really want to talk about,it I don't wanna say something (especially on the Internet) that I might regret or want to take back. Let's just say I got into something (silent argument in my head?) with my dad and just yahh, that's all I really wanna say. maybe pray for me? Idk
Glad you day sounds like it was 20x better! You deserve it!
Love and hugs puddles 🩵
@7Bear7 I hope so too. I really miss working out. Journalling’s nice though I usually jot down three things I’m grateful for in the morning and then at night, three little wins or something like that and reflect on the day. My format changes all the time and sometimes I end up writing poems or short stories. Pinterest actually has some good journalling ideas if you fancy looking. it’s a healthy habit to keep.
And yes —it is a comfy couch.
@azurePond
I miss working out too, but can't seem to actually get myself to start back up. I really want to start stretching and doing some calisthenics again.
"Journalling’s nice though I usually jot down three things I’m grateful for in the morning and then at night, three little wins or something like that and reflect on the day." Smart I might try something similar, if I can actually remember.
"My format changes all the time and sometimes I end up writing poems or short stories." That's cool
I'll try to remember to check Pinterest at some point then.
"Ooh I get that! The Demon Hunter songs are constantly stuck in my head too especially the soda pop one and those shoulder movements haha. I keep doing it all the time… can’t stoooop." Hahahahahahah lol same that one was getting me for a week solid maybe two. They are great songs, 'my little soda POP!' 🎶
"As for freelance, I help with website design, report writing, data entry, content writing, blogs, newsletters, that sort of thing. Sometimes remote, sometimes from home." _ Sounds like it could be neat or enjoyable but also depends on the job or client.
"I do it freelance because I like the freedom but honestly it’s more pocket money than anything. I’m a bit of a loser graduate living off my monthly allowance from Dad lol." _ freedom is nice but too much can be bad sometime, hope you can get through right amount. I personally wouldn't say loser but I guess that might be the interpretation of the way you define that phrase. I am glad you have family to support you, that's good generally. I at the moment despite saying I am looking for a job have been partially avoiding it, so I partially get you, but there are some obvious differences both in situation and stuff.
"My doctor recommended I take a mental health break after my PTSD breakdown so I’m meant to focus more on therapy and recovery." _ Speaking of which you said you moved, how is the situation with therapy is it online or did you change who you're seeing? I hope everything is going smoothly for you there.
"But doing nothing at all makes me feel worse so freelancing gives me a bit of balance." _ Understandable I am partially driving myself insane from avoiding things and doing not as much as I should.
"And yes —it is a comfy couch." Noice!
"Music — I was listening to… * checks my phone *
Le Sserafim – Easy
Ariana Grande – Motive
Selena Gomez – Souvenir
The Weeknd – Can’t feel my face
All upbeat pop lol." Noice noice!
Sorry you didn't make it sound complicated, I just am completely unaware in that aspect, I know of people who have cleaning lady's (or maids is another word I suppose?) but my family has never had one so I wasn't sure.
"Food — she made Italian. Z helped while I mostly helped with the eating lol. We had brodo di pollo (chicken soup), Polenta (done very mild... she said it’s good for me while I’m recovering from fever), chicken cacciatora and chocolate panna cotta (which they ordered from a restaurant)" _ I have no idea what half of those words mean but it's sounds tasty, glad you could help eat it! ;) ;)
"Nope she’s mine * sends a force field your way* … ok.... maybe we can be her co-godkids. Is that even a thing?" _ hahahhahahhahahaha hahahahhahahahahahahhahahaaahahaha lol, that's awesome! Tho I haven't heard of that happening before, I am sure someone could be a godparent to more than one family.
"Yeah, I’m trying to stay healthy. I have a bad habit of skipping or forgetting meals but I’m working on changing that." _ 👀 are you sure you're not my my evil genderbent clone???? i sometimes even skip a whole day of meals but not very often generally one or two a day, I am trying to be more consistent on two.
"I hear you and I won’t push you to share more than you want. Silent arguments in our heads can be the loudest especially with family. I’ll definitely keep you in my thoughts and send some prayers your way 💙 Take care of yourself , ok Bear? And thank you for the love — sending love and the biggest hug right back to you 🫂✨"
Thanks, thanks very much! I still feel a little hurt but things have mostly gone back to normal, I think that the couple of hours of just sitting and thinking after it made it seem worse than it was to me, so idk.
Send a equally big hug back, along with love and prayers! Thanks you so so much Pond! 🩵
@7Bear7 Ooh have you thought about joining a gym or maybe getting a trainer or even just someone to work out with? Having an accountability partner really helps build momentum in the beginning.
My dad keeps telling me I don’t need a job right now that I should just rest for a year and then go to law school. But I feel like I need time to figure things out first. Maybe by trying different jobs I’ll discover something I actually want to do yk? And law school… it would mean graduating and then practising under my uncle, joining his law firm, which would tie me back into my family again. I don’t know if it’s selfish but I don’t want that. It’s not that I don’t love them but… ahhhhhh here comes the existential crisis again.
@azurePond @7Bear7 the censored word was the short for "I guess" but the site thought I was talking about the gr@m