Curious about BPD
I’m not diagnosed with it or anything, but I’m curious and if like to learn more. I think the internet has a bunch of stereotyped/wrong/outdated info, so I thought it might be better to get it first hand.
Tysm for any descriptions, clarifications, or even little stories <3
@politePlace5370
Hii! I am glad that you are curious and asking for people's experiences. BPD can definitely look different for everyone. From what I remember when I was studying it (I am also diagnosed with it), there are nine symptoms but I believe you only need 5 or 7 of the symptoms? The cause of it is truly unknown. I know that with myself, BPD has led me to have issues with relationships and fear of being forgotten or abandoned.
If you worry that you might have it, you could benefit from a discussion with your doctor :)
@Remina thank you! If you’re ok with it, what was the diagnosis process like/what comes after?
@politePlace5370
Hey, no, totally okay. So honestly, I first suspected I had it when I was 16 but the doctor I saw at the time, completely shut me down, so for years, I did not try again. But then I got a great therapist who truly listened and understood. I found that being diagnosed provided lots of answers and support, because once I knew what was going on, I could learn the right coping skills and also medicate some of the symptoms.
@Remina o ok, ty
sorry they shut you down at first but I’m glad it worked out
how much do u think the therapy/meds work for it? I know it can be more or less effective at diff things
@politePlace5370
I think the best thing for BPD is therapy as you learn proper coping methods with it and learn to cope with the lows and the emotions that goes in waves!
@Remina ty! U really helped :) I don’t think I have any questions left, tysm
@politePlace5370
You are welcome! :)
@politePlace5370 I was always told that having BPD was genetic and environmental because of childhood traumas. For me, it probably was both. I got officially diagnosed with BPD in 20s when I was going through a rough time. I had many many dysphoric episodes and was struggling. BPD is definitely one of those things that look different for everyone. We may all check mark some of the symptoms but at the end of the day, we are all different and it's unique to us. My journey has been long but I've always embraced it and I own it. It's honestly because of my BPD and other diagnosis that make sense to me why I am the way I am and I'm ok with it. I know it doesn't define me. Lots of people in my life have made me to feel like I was the problem and that something was wrong with me... but this is what I know and it's my normal. I'm ok with it and I love myself. 🥰😍
@YourCaringConfidant tysm, and I’m glad to hear things are working out for u 💜
BPD is difficult to live with. It roots from a fear of abandonment that you would do anything to stop someone from leaving even if it means pushing them away. For me, it's a lot of anger especially at myself. Medication helps very little. DBT and prayer and things that help. Mood swings are rapid and go to extremes. Extreme rage , sadness and euphoria. You disassociate and don't really interpret reality the ways others do. You are blinded by emotions and they become huge and run your life. The patterns are very high ups and downs going through relationships. It's almost an intense cycle that goes really fast and it's the same thing over and over again.
@loveprayemotion ty :) I’ve heard abt DBT before, in other managing emotions things
Thank you for sharing all this. Makes me feel less alone with my issues and that it's really something bigger than me just being out of control with my emotions..
@ILoveYouICareStayStrong no problem! Thank you, that’s the best I could hope for :)
@loveprayemotion
I think one of the most frustrating things from the perspective of being a family member of someone with BPD or a similar set of traits is that you often don't know what you're facing when you get up in the morning or when you come home, the person is very unpredictable and no matter how you try, you can't "get it." As well, the person usually has no idea that their reactions or emotions are unusual, and so if anyone at all tries to help, or even so much as mentions that they might have been overwhelming or maybe even threatening (picture a young child whose mother is having a meltdown over a spot of soup on the table), the person reacts in an explosive way, so it's virtually impossible to get them to visit with a professional who knows more about what's going on than you, or the person with BPD, does.
My ex husband has passed away now, but I believe he had undiagnosed BPD or another PD. His thing was to set up failure for himself, and then panic and try to get his FP to fix it for him. For example, he would park in a no parking zone day after day, on purpose, accumulating parking tickets, and then when the court date was set, he would admonish me that he was probably going to jail because of me, because I was the breadwinner and I didn't give him enough $ to pay the tickets (that he got on purpose). So then I would run down to the courthouse and pay them, then he would be happy for a minute, and begin the next wave of problem set-up that I didn't even know he was doing. The next thing I'd know, they were chasing him around town trying to repo his truck and him on the phone telling me it was my fault. He had insisted I give him the money and he would make the payments, but he only made partial payments one or two months, and when they tried to repo it, he said it was my fault, so I dutifully went and bailed it out of the repo yard. While I was in hospital having a C-section, he was hocking my cameras, he said that if he didn't he would have gone hungry because I didn't leave him enough money when I left to have the baby-I'd stocked the house with food, the truck was full of gas, and I'd left him $100. This kind of thing went on for 11 years until I just couldn't do it anymore. And, when I finally left him, he had charmed my mom enough that she told me it was all my fault and that I should go back and make things right with him! At the time, I just thought he was milking me for money, but I'm thinking maybe it was BPD.
@HiddenSwan25 sorry to hear about all that.