does anyone else think like this?
like..
a lot of us say we want someone to just come to us and say that everything is going to be okay, that the pain won't last forever. but i find that whenever anyone tells me that directly, I almost always just scoff and say it doesn't matter because tomorrow isn't today.
when tomorrow actually comes it's always something else, something new to slog through with these sc*rs and broken-off pieces of me. what if tomorrow is worse? why is living so much work? do i actually want this to continue, just to save others the pain of loss?
i'm sick of knowing that if someone came to me and said i'll be okay.. that i wouldn't believe them. i won't believe them because "better" doesn't seem to exist to me.
just tired. does anyone else have these things in their mind?
Yes!!!!!!!!
Hi! I'm new here and I was so desperate to find someone today with bpd that would understand how it feels.
I feel absolutely the same. Which is another reason that I can't bring myself to talk to friends or anyone that might offer support. I know how well meaning is "it will get better" "it will pass" "recovery is possible" when u don't know how it is. Along with the "why r u taking it so hard"?
@AliceMadnessReturns
"why r u taking it so hard"
If someone says that, I can feel that much more confident that their "it will get better" statement probably isn't trustworthy. 😊
Or the "what r u gonna do when sth more serious happens?" Well clearly I can't handle it, can I? Why is it so hard for people to understand brains are wired differently?
@kwaHeri1729
So if I'm understanding, you're saying that this doesn't happen very often:
Member: [describes an incredibly complicated series of difficult events and experiences]
Listener: "hey u gotta trust me u will be ok"
Member: [epiphany] "Oh wow... you're right, I didn't think of that." [attains enlightenment and a bag of money falls from the sky]
😉
ha! something like that, yeah lol
There is another reason u must live. You really never die. Maybe a blink of relief then we are probably aware again. That was my near death experience that gives me pause. If that
new awareness takes me to
hell???! !!!! The losing end there is the eternity part. I think the hell itself compared to rbis life is too close to call! What is worse than having even the hope that we can escape through our death taken away? That’s a new low!!! Can’t cheat that one idt :((((
@kindTurtle3738
I don't personally know what's going to happen to me after this lifetime, but can definitely understand what you're saying that depending on one's worldview, there might be some of them that incentivize staying here longer than others. Like, if in some versions there's an unremitting suffering on the other side of the door, maybe it's best not to try to open that door until you absolutely have to. 😊
Hi,
I also have BPD and other things. As for the "zest for life", I never found it with me. It may sound weird, but I don't want to live, but I know I "have to" for others. I have a very strong fixation on my younger sister, I have to be here for her because she needs me (and you probably know how it is with fixation on someone). I dedicate my life to others, I don't like people, I don't understand them, so I'm interested in animal protection, I believe that one day I will have my own rescue station.
It's probably harder for me than for a person without a diagnosis, because I usually experience things more strongly, or vice versa at all, and I still don't know much about it, but who does?
@determinedBlueberry3595
That's really understandable what you're describing. If it's just for your own sake, you don't really find much joy or excitement in living. But you feel like there are others around you that you need to be there for. Like you feel devoted to your younger sister and wouldn't want her to feel hurt if something were to happen to you.
Doing animal protection work and possibly having a rescue station in the future sounds amazing! 💜 There are so many ways to be helpful and meaningful in the world. Personally, I don't know anything about animals or enjoy dealing with them (lol), so I'm really grateful that there are people like you who are interested and capable to do that important work.
