BPD and getting over the past
My biggest struggle with having bpd is the questioning, the paranoia, and the lack of being able to get over past experiences. And I don’t have a support network of people who truly understand what it’s like living with BPD. My sister has it too but if I were to talk she’d make it all about her. And I don’t have any friends or anyone to talk to that has is and is able to truly understand me and it’s so frustrating. I feel alone in my own head all the time because even if I do tell people my feelings they don’t understand or they try to help me by saying how they feel or their standpoint and how they would get over it or they try to reframe my thoughts and I just think. “Well that’s how you feel and you’re lucky that you can just get over it and move past it. I can’t.” It’s just very annoying to have people around me who are so different.
@xplr011
Hey 💜
It looks like you just joined yesterday. I hope you like it here.
Yes working through the past and paranoia are two really big things to be struggling with. Neither are easy or straight forward. 🤨 I hope it gets easier and you get the support that you want.
Wishing you the best in your journey here
@xplr011
Hi, welcome to 7 Cups 💜 That sounds like a tough place to be in:
1) Most people don't understand what it's like to have BPD and keep trying to push these cognitive reframes (e.g. "just get over it", "just move on") that are really simplistic and kind of minimize what you're going through because they assume your experience is identical to theirs
2) Your sister does understand what it's like, but if you were to talk to her, the conversation would become centered on her so that doesn't really feel like an option either
I hope you're able to find some people here that you connect with who are able to understand things. Passing along a link with some resources for BPD (e.g. how to connect with listeners on 7 Cups who accept chats on BPD, coping strategies that are specifically helpful for BPD, etc.):
https://www.7cups.com/forum/personalitydisorders/BorderlinePersonalityDisorder_326/ResourcesforBPD_268269/
Replying to your first point. That’s exactly what it’s like. The people who I talk to like my therapists and such don’t understand what it’s like living with bpd so they can easily push path the things I tell them. I feel like many people without bpd do so it’s hard when I don’t have someone who understands that I can truly talk to. Because like you said even though my sister has it she’s really not an option. But thank you for the resources!
@xplr011 I feel the same way, the only person I can talk to somehow always says he doesn't know what to say.
I can't blame him nor push my feelings onto another person but it feels frustrating a lot
That’s similar to what mines say but he says he doesn’t understand. I don’t trust to push my feelings onto him I just try to get his support but he seems to not even be able to do that.
