What the f@#$%
What's wrong with me? How do I know that I don't have a disorder? How do I know that I do have a disorder? My wife is constantly telling me that I am a malignant narcissist I don't know if I'm a malignant narcissist, some of the things that she calls me says I do tracks. That's true, but I don't ever mean to hurt her or to harm to her. I'm just trying to live a life with her. And I feel she fights me at every turn, then she feels I'd fight her at every turn, I can't talk with her. She only yells, because she thinks I am trying to Narcissistically behave my way out of the situation and I don't know if it's true at this point I don't know if I'm not being misrepresented so much that I'm starting to believe in, I don't know where to turn and I don't know who to talk to about it and I don't know how to go forward here. We're about to lose an apartment. She feels like I'm not protecting her when I'm telling her the truth of what can happen.We're not going to end up on the street but she doesn't want to live in my apartment.I don't knowWhat's wrong with me? How do I know that I don't have a disorder? How do I know that I do have a disorder? My wife is constantly telling me that I am a malignant narcissist I don't know if I'm a malignant narcissist, some of the things that she calls me says I do tracks. That's true, but I don't ever mean to hurt her or to harm to her. I'm just trying to live a life with her. And I feel she fights me at every turn, then she feels I'd fight her at every turn, I can't talk with her. She only yells, because she thinks I am trying to Narcissistically behave my way out of the situation and I don't know if it's true at this point I don't know if I'm not being misrepresented so much that I'm starting to believe in, I don't know where to turn and I don't know who to talk to about it and I don't know how to go forward here. We're about to lose an apartment. She feels like I'm not protecting her when I'm telling you the truth of what can happen. We're not going to end up on the street but she doesn't want to live in my apartment, I don't know, thanks.
@indigoMaple3268
😔
Your wife is not a professional so I don't think it's helpful to throw around labels like narcissist.
Sure if we all look close enough at such labels and self diagnose, we'd all see traits and that's the danger of dr Google.
It's important for your wife to speak without yelling.
And to listen to what you have to say
Both of you deserve to be heard and not just throw recriminations out there that help no one 💙
@indigoMaple3268
Completely agree with everything Amanda said about the "narcissist" label, how it's being used, and that you also deserve to be heard.
She's not qualified to diagnose NPD, and the way that she's using the label feels like it's become a way of erasing/minimizing your experience. That's the thing that feels omnipresent in what you're describing: your thoughts/feelings don't matter because she can throw that label at you and immediately eliminate/negate your side of the story. (Which is why labels like this are so dangerous when used inappropriately.)
From your own descriptions of your motivations, you're just trying to figure out how to live with her, and every attempt to do so ends up in her yelling at you. I wonder whether she's doing all she can from her side to approach things in a healthy/constructive way.
https://www.7cups.com/forum/relationships/CopingToolsResourcesforRelationships_1161/TipsforDealingWithUnhealthyandAbusiveRelationships_359794/