Personality Disorders Community Check-in: April 22nd - April 28th
Hi PD Support Community!
How has your week been?
Looking forward to hearing from you!
💚 Magic
Feel free to check out this week's post for DBTuesday (on interpersonal effectiveness)
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just here to say the artwork is really beautiful!
@theriverissinging
I feel the same way! I love that people are able to do things like that
@QuietMagic
1) Being able to help people & caring for my family.
2) This week has been very busy & a bit mish mashed things haven't worked out as I planned or arranged with people. There's always next time, at least I had some time to catch up on some programmes & play my X box.
@Harmony8682
Hi--I can relate to that too, getting a sense of meaning from caring for people. 💜
Sorry that your plans with people didn't work out as expected, but that's nice that you were able to use the time to catch up doing some things you enjoy. 😊
@QuietMagic
Hi, Magic!
2. How has your week been?
@purpleTree4652
I'm sure those cats are really grateful! 💜
Sorry that your week has been difficult. Has the situation with your co-workers gotten better, or is it something that's just still ongoing where you just have to try to tolerate/ignore it?
@QuietMagic
Hi, Magic! It's ongoing at work. I'm at a point where I am going to be asking my big boss for a recommendation to get into graduate school, and then assess the situation at work to see if I'll stay or not.
@purpleTree4652
Gotcha--sounds like you're waiting for
more information before you decide anything.
@QuietMagic
1) I would have to say my students and also my family (boyfriend and cat).
2) It has been a rough week, I have been putting things off but I am looking to change that.
@BorderlinehasTakenOver852
Oh neat, what kind of teaching do you do? And having loved ones with whom there can be a sort of back-and-forth of giving/receiving care sounds really nice.
Sorry that the week has been rough. What things have you been putting off that you're hoping to work on?
What is something in my life that gives me a sense of meaning?
I think one thing that gives me a great sense of worth, use to be the family farm I worked on since I was but a wee lad. Growing up riding in the tractors with my grandfather, helping out when I could... then 14 my grandfather got sick and I had to step in and take his place. I would finish my homework and head straight to the field to do everything in his place because he couldn't do it. It was hard especially in high school. That drove me to do the best I could. Now that's all gone...
So what gives me sense of meaning or purpose in live now?
I really don't know, my coding and electrical design projects could be used to one day save lives. The poem Some of you know I write may lift someone up. My abilities and knowledge could aid me to be famous one day. I guess the best answer I can give is the fact of life. Living each day to make it to the next and leave a positive impact on this world is my purpose in life.
@DIDisaythat
Wow, yeah I could see how that family farm you worked on when you were growing up would be really meaningful. They needed your help and you were able to step in and do something that felt good and helpful that you knew would be appreciated. 💜
I like what you've said about basically living each day one at a time and trying to leave a positive impact. I tend to feel like there are a lot of small actions that can add up over time and make a difference even if someone isn't famous or doing anything enormous.
To use an analogy, it's like if someone plants a tree in a certain spot, that tree maybe beautifies the surrounding area that it's in. It doesn't beautify the whole world, but it doesn't have to because there are lots of trees everywhere working in a decentralize way, and each tree is sort of doing its own part to make things pretty. 😊
Exactly, that's how I feel. I might never achieve anything worth much to anyone but what I did is at least good and positive and might be an example for someone else too. That's another way of looking at it. Someone else who may be in a more dire state may see that hey if this guy and be strong and do this maybe I can be strong too.
Some one once told me a teacher is the one who plants and seed and waters it and lets it grow, and that seed bears fruit that provides nourishment for others. I guess now I understand what that means. Sometimes what we do know as some kind of impact on those around us or those following in our steps.
@DIDisaythat
That makes sense, like "If I can be a reasonably good/positive person, maybe if there's someone else who will admire that, try to imitate it, and maybe benefit from that or help a lot of other people in the process."
That's a great analogy of planting/tending to seeds. Something I thought of related to that is that you might not always get to see the finished product of that process and there's a certain trust involved of, "This seed will continue to grow and become something beautiful."
@QuietMagic
@QuietMagic
One thing that gives my life meaning my 2 daughter! They give me the courage to keep going the power to push through to keep on doing better they are a constant reminder if all else fails in my mind why I'm trying so hard to be a better person all I have to do is think of them two beautiful girls of mine .
My week was a tough one which I was pretty hard on my self about because I thought I was better the medication I started fixed me because I had a good two and half weeks and then at the beginning of the week I felt a change in my body and mind and knew what was coming next the feeling of emptiness anger sadness and hopelessness and boy was I right fought with my boyfriend badly all week so mentally draining but tomorrow is a fresh new day new opportunities and a fresh outlook on the week ahead I hope every one is smiling and feeling good about them selfs because you deserve to
@diamondintheROUGH2022
What you said about your daughters sounds so wonderful. Like whatever else is going on, you care about them and thinking about them and your wish for them to be happy helps you feel motivated.
Aw, sorry that the week was tough. That must be hard to feel this sort of shift happening and to know what's coming next. 💜
The thought that crosses my mind with the boyfriend if I were in that situation would be to possibly try to talk with him and come up with a plan for how to handle things the next time that shift happens. (E.g. "Hey, I know that sometimes I find myself feeling this way, and I know when that happens that I'm more likely to get into arguments. I don't want to hurt you or create unnecessary conflict. I'm thinking that if I notice things starting to move toward a fight, I'm going to try to do these things. And it would help me if you were to also do these couple things. What are your thoughts about that?")
I love that idea but seeing this to late he broke up with me he can't handle it any more and I've pushed him past the point of caring any more I hate me I wish I was some one else so bay
@diamondintheROUGH2022
Aw, I'm sorry he decided to do that, even if I can understand that he's free to do that. 😟
"I hate me I wish I was some one else" - I could think of a couple possible ways of understanding this. I'm wondering if either of these feel like they fit?
1) "I wish I weren't someone who causes other people to feel unhappy or overwhelmed."
2) "I wish I weren't someone who is alone because other people can't handle me and everybody feels like they need to leave."
@QuietMagic my husband, kids, and dogs help give me a sense of purpose. I like feeling like a family, taking care of them, and creating something better than I had. I am also a religious person, so that helps with that sense of something greater. I contradict myself sometimes though with my feelings about God and purpose.
My week has been good. Today has been a little rough. I was reminded of why I don’t ask anyone for help and only rely on myself. I’m in a mood of not wanting to help anyone else either. I will work through that like I always do because I like helping, but right now I need to be angry. That sounds bad reading it back.
@EmbracingChaos
I love the way you put that: "creating something better than I had". Like being able to ensure that the people around you are able to feel loved and cared for in the way that you wish you were. 💜
That makes a lot of sense what you said about
needing to be angry right now. Like, helping other people is something
meaningful in the long-term that you enjoy when you do it, but right now
you just need to allow yourself to feel what you're feeling rather than
stretching yourself in an unnatural way. That kind of fits with the
self-reliance too: "If other people aren't going to care for me, I guess
I have to do it myself and be responsible for that." 😊
So last night I had a panic attack, I had received some bad new in the morning and it was weighing heavy on me. I came here to try and share it and get it off my chest. Got into the sharing circle realized it might actually be a trigger but didn't know what topic to call it without triggering anyone so had to just leave without sharing passing it on to the next person.
I messaged my listener, who I think was was busy, ended up getting more stressedand paniced and told her what was going on and then called my therapist. 3 hours later we got off the phone it was 1am by then. During the call a DID alter fronted.
I am doing better tonight but really stressed and scared right now.
@DIDisaythat
That sounds really stressful/difficult. 😟 You had something happen that you wanted to talk about, but you weren't able to share it in sharing circle due to it being possibly triggering. Then you tried to reach out to your listener but they weren't available. You were able to talk with your therapist, but during the call you had an alter come to the front.
Just sharing a couple links that might be helpful the next time you're having a panic attack.
https://www.7cups.com/forum/PersonalityDisordersSupport_81/ThoughtfulThursday_2294/ThoughtfulThursdayPanicAttacks_273375/
https://www.7cups.com/forum/PersonalityDisordersSupport_81/DBTuesday_2147/Module2DistressToleranceDiscussion3TIPP_267221/
I don't have a very quick response time nowadays to spontaneous PMs, but if you ever want another listener, I'd be happy to exchange offline messages back and forth, or you can use my booking form HERE to schedule a chat with me.
It was rough, but I made it through and like my therapist said... I was able to think clearly enough to call her.
I would appreciate being able to exchange messages with you as another listener. I will tell you the same as I did my other listener, it is kinda hard for me to actually schedule a time to be here and have a good conversation.
Thank you for the links, I am going to check them out now.