TW Brother murder and our fear
trigger warning
Brother murder and our fear
Lost in a nightmare
but the nightmare it real
he lived and hide what he was doing
he was to others a kind and caring person
but we know another side of him
he was abusive and he hurt us badly
we loved him as a brother
but hated his actions at times
we still unsure what to feel
another took his life away
shot him down within a crime they did
he no longer alive but his memory isd
words spoken within the abuse keep coming back
our mind know they not can happen but we still fear they will
they told us even after death they could hurt us
they said if we told what they did they come get us after they dye
now that he passed away we keep feeling fear that he could still get us
a war within is in full battle
some believe what he said other do not
mixed feeling mixed thoughts they flood us like to much rain
we feel the crashing of the emotional waves over his murder
a brother who we love but his actions we hated a lot
keep asking why why why but no answers at all
@stormieandpaws
It's truly a very difficult time for you.
There's no right or wrong way to grieve .
Or to feel.
And I believe you 💚
@Amanda84
thank you tonight been a hard time lots of flashbacks but we be ok always an
@stormieandpaws
I am so so sorry. I can understand the pain that you share. It is understandable that the grief you feel is confusing. You love your brother. Your brother hurt you really bad. But you love your brother. I mean of course you do, he's your brother and you're you, you love. Hugs if you want them
@Hopeful0001
thank you yes it hard time for us dad left out that him and mom were tyed up and that the person came into theor home not just brother small place in yard kinda angry he did not tell us that part
@stormieandpaws
omg that is so horrible, and traumatic. I am sorry. That's a horrible way to lose someone.
@stormieandpaws You approach this tough subject with humility stormie as I can only imagine how difficult this is.
Youre knight is there for you always 🛡️
May you continue to trust in that!
@stormieandpaws Give yourself the patience to process it all as much as it is a hurtful time 🌸🌻Sends love
@JasGab200519970
thank you the mixed emotions are the hard part as we was emotionally numb most our life so the mixed emotions are confusing to us still
@stormieandpaws Emotions can be difficult to make sense of - we are proud of your courage!
@JasGab200519970
thank you agree but after being emotionally numb we feel most times it worth feeling emoticons aswhen emotionally numb you can not feel even the best emotions like being happy finding joy and so much more yes scary feeling the emotions connected with our abuse and connected to bad things we learned no emotion alone is bad or good it what they be about that can be good or bad
@stormieandpaws When there is shame that sticks to you like poison reminding you of all your shortcoming you block out the emotions. Your mind says survive.
Bind it and nail it 🌷🌺
Blossom the rawness of the emotions to those you trust. Then you’ll know what is next.
@JasGab200519970
thank you we trust very little offline due to all the ones that have abused us and threats over the years we do have one deep friend offline and some online too we talk about some of the abuse in not detail in chat a lot but we worry others could not handle the deep details of the abuse even our therapist that we starting to trust more really she said she never heard anyone say some of the things from our abuse we said it hard due to the emotions now connecting to the flashbacks also seeing parents admitted to knowing about the able dad even his part in it to a degree mom know about things going on and did not stop them
it amazing as people get older how much they open up and tell the truth it almost like they want to be clean of things as they pass away parents our 83yr and 84yr they been admitting to things that before they said never happened
@stormieandpaws ❤️❤️❤️❤️
@stormieandpaws This was so good to read. I enjoyed this, thank you for posting this. 😊
@warmwhisperingflower
thank you for reading our poem in away writing is how we work out things in our head this at times feel safer then just talking to others about things that bothering us