If You’re Feeling Judged: One Thing You Need to Understand

"Most of us feel judged at times. We might feel judged for the way we look, the things we do (or don’t do), the things we say (and the way we say them), or for the things we believe.

We might respond to feeling judged by retreating inside ourselves, hiding, and silencing our voice, or we might react in defense or retaliation as if we’re being attacked.

It doesn’t feel good to feel judged. It can hurt, make us feel like we’re not good enough, and drain our energy.

But if we want to be free of the heavy burden of feeling judged, there’s something very important we need to understand.

Feeling judged and being judged are not the same thing!

Feeling Judged vs. Being Judged

When we feel judged, it’s something we experience inside ourselves. It’s a feeling, not necessarily a fact. It’s important to understand that how we feel and react to others is up to us. It’s a result of our conditioning, traumas, fears, emotions, insecurities, attitudes, and the things we believe (whether they’re actually true or not), but it’s ours. It may be triggered by what someone says, but the feeling is still ours.

Being judged is something else. It’s something people outside of us do. Whether someone passes judgment on us through their words, actions, a certain look, or a sneering sound under their breath, it’s an external thing… and we can react to it, or not. I’m not suggesting it’s easy to not react or take it personally, but understanding the distinction is important.

We Have a Choice

In times when we feel judged, we can react, defend, and justify our emotions by trying to blame someone else, or we can use it as an opportunity to be curious about ourselves—to understand so we can learn and grow.

Choosing to grow does not mean we don’t feel our emotions. We do. We feel them, and it can be uncomfortable at times. But choosing to grow means we feel our emotions consciously and recognize our reactions so we can take responsibility for them. Because we understand our emotions and reactions are ours.

By learning to own our emotions by being present with them, we have the power to transform our relationship to them. We can then learn to navigate the landscapes of our mind.

Let Go by Being Curious

If you’re feeling judged—assuming someone is thinking badly of you and feeling bad about yourself in response—engage your curiosity.

Follow your emotions mindfully. Just feel them. Be present with them (to the degree that you are able). Let them take you deeper into yourself.

Ask yourself:

• Why do I feel judged?
• What beliefs am I holding onto?
• What do I not want to see about myself?
• What do I not want to admit?
• Am I judging myself? If so, for what?
• Why does it matter what someone else thinks?
• Don’t underestimate the power of our curiosity. It’s a superpower!

Curiosity is the magic that can facilitate it.

Journaling is a great assistant to curiosity. It helps us connect more deeply to what’s happening inside us. Any time you feel judged, take some time to sit quietly and reflect on your emotions, thoughts, and feelings. Writing them down can help to make it more tangible."

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✨Takeaway: There is a distinction between feeling judged and being judged. Feeling judged is an internal experience, a feeling that we have, which is not necessarily a fact. On the other hand, being judged is an external action, someone passing judgment on us. It can be helpful to remember that next time you are feeling judged.

✨Reflection: What are your thoughts about the distinction between feeling judged and being judged?

#Judging #Mind #MentalHealth #Judgment #SelfAwareness #Mindfulness #Growth

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