What To Do When You Hate the Holidays

“Loneliness vs. Being Alone

Even though you can feel lonely when you’re alone, there’s a vast difference between loneliness and being by yourself. Loneliness is an emotional state where you don’t feel connected to others. It can manifest anywhere in any situation. You can be in a room full of people and feel disconnected, or you can be on your own.

Many people who spend time alone are not lonely. Being alone is the physical state of not being around anyone else. Many people crave alone time — it’s spending time with yourself.

Living with Loneliness

When you’re dealing with loneliness, especially around the holidays, well-meaning people often tell you to do something with others. They don’t understand that loneliness is not about the people around you or where you are.

If You Can Be Around Others

If you think you’ll feel better being around other people but have no friends or family nearby, you can:

• Take a class. Want to learn something new? Knitting, pottery, painting — find a class in your area.

• Volunteer. Like animals? Volunteer at a shelter. Visit a food bank and help give out food to those in need. Read to children (or dogs). There are many, many ways to help others in need.

• Join a community group. If you’re interested in helping your community, join a local group. You can clean waterways, plant trees in a community garden, or work in a local kitchen. Help make your community a better place to live.

Ways to Feel Less Lonely if You’re On Your Own

If you don’t want to be around others, or can’t for whatever reason, remind yourself that you are not alone. In the grand scheme of things, none of us are alone. Suggestions on what you can do include:

• Plan a retreat or trip. If you can afford it, a place you’ve always wanted to visit. Plan to be away for the times that are especially hard for you. Is there a museum you’ve never visited? A historic site you’ve never seen? Make your holiday about discovering new things in your community.

• Keep your hands busy. Buy an adult coloring book and colored pencils. Start doing jigsaw puzzles. Paint. Take up knitting. There are many things you can do at home.

• Journal. Spend time getting your feelings out on paper. Write gratitude lists. Or rant. Get it out of you.

• Read or watch films. If you enjoy reading or watching movies, have a binge.

• Treat yourself. Make yourself a gourmet meal or get takeout from a nice restaurant you wouldn’t normally eat at. Do something decadent to treat yourself.

• Walk or hike. Get outdoors as much as you can. Even though it’s getting cold in many parts of the country, whatever sunlight you can get will help you feel better. If you can’t get outside for any reason, move your body indoors. Dance. Find workout videos on YouTube.

• Buy gifts for yourself. Forget other people — treat yourself. Buy yourself as many gifts as your budget allows. You don’t need to wrap them but wait to open the package or wear the item until Christmas (or the day you choose).

How You Can Help

You might not be dealing with loneliness yourself, but you can help others with simple kindness, such as:

• Smile. This is the simplest thing you can do to lift someone’s spirits. Look them in the eye and smile at them. Say hello if you dare. Spread the joy you have to others you come in contact with.

• Compliment a stranger. See someone walking toward you in a beautiful coat? Love the lipstick someone’s wearing? Or the sound of their laughter? Let them know. You’ll both feel better after the exchange.

• Be kind to shop employees — All those store employees you see running around, especially during the holidays, are doing their best to help you. They have their own stress to deal with. Please take a moment to connect with them and share your appreciation for their help.

• Let someone go in front of you. Do you have a cart overflowing with food and see someone behind you with two things? Let them ahead of you. It’s a simple gesture that can go a long way.

• Leave food in a community fridge. Take food you won’t eat to a local fridge. If you’re in the supermarket, pick up a couple extra items for a neighbor you’ll never meet. Want to know what a community fridge is?”

Read the full article on Medium

✨Takeaway: While these are not answers to the loneliness that the holidays can bring; they are some suggestions for coping. Additionally, even though it may seem like a tiny deed, your act of kindness can go a long way in making someone feel more included and a part of the community.

✨Reflection: Do you have a hard time during the holiday season? What helps bring some comfort?

#Holidays #MentalHealth #Lonely #Loneliness #Coping #Christmas