My writing

Backstory: I have tried to find help here several times recently, but no one has ever helped me. I am currently having relationship problems with a close friend and it has made my depression worse. This writing is the result of all this.

I wonder if I will be heard this time...

I stand in front of you at arm's length. My gaze is gloomy and menacing. 

- You neglected me! You knew that I was very lonely and that I was depressed, but you still left me alone! - I say with resentment and poorly restrained anger, taking a step forward.  

- Are you my friend after this? After you used me to improve your mental well-being! - one more step. I clench my hands, shaking with emotion, into fists, until it hurts. There are hot tears in my eyes, blurring my vision.

- And now that you don't need me, not a necessity, I can be put away on the shelf as part of a collection of friends! You don't answer me so often, writing noticeably less! - tears are streaming down my cheeks.

- I still need help! I helped you, I supported you and when it was no longer necessary, you abandoned me! You stopped helping me! And you take it for granted! You're not a "good friend", don't deceive yourself! 

 - "Good friends" don't abandon their "important" friends in trouble! - I raise my right hand and straighten my fist. You get a slap so hard, like you've never seen in your life. 

- "Good friends" are willing to listen and give their time without disappearing at an important moment! - Another hard slap, from which you staggered to the side. Your face on the right side is burning and aching with pain. 

- "Good friends" don't hurt like that, by presenting you with a fact and pretending that everything is the same, as if they had nothing to do with it! - I cry bitterly, feeling pain in my chest. My palm and shoulder hurt from the slaps, but I don't care. I won't care if I die now, I'll even be grateful. 

I'm out of words.

 I start to hit you in the stomach, like I've seen in movies. I can't see clearly, I can't stop crying and feeling pain and a terrible all-consuming hole in my chest where it should be the heart. You stand on your feet, doubled over in pain, coughing and breathing heavily. You feel nauseous and retching. 

I can hardly breathe, I'm suffocating. My vision blurs, I realize that I'm almost losing consciousness. With the last of my strength, I hit you on the back and after a few blows I fall on my back. I lie beneath you, deathly pale, my lips blue, my knuckles ***. I'm not breathing. You look at my body, slowly realizing what just happened. The last tears are slowly trickling down my cheeks. I have finally found peace.