A bad way to keep going?
I debated where this should go but due to the relationship centric nature, decided here is probably my best bet.
My fiancé left me last year (after 17 years of friendship and 10 years together) and I haven’t really been coping well. I time and time again will try something to feel *anything* only to notice an ache of loss and loneliness from him not being there. I am on permanent disability, but have been trying to find a way to work and become more independent. I have begun going to classes to prepare for if I were to go back to college. I don’t know why I’m doing any of this.
I don’t understand or see any purpose of living without him, I don’t have any friends or close acquaintances, my brother and I have a strained relationship and he moved away to another city anyway. I’m very alone with no one to share my life with, in therapy, trying to improve. And I don’t know why. I’ve realized there’s a large part of me holding onto some vague hope that if I can become “better” (more money, have a car, more stable) he will come back.
I don’t really feel too much hope he’ll actually return but I have nothing else to live for. Is this a bad motivation to keep going? Am I setting myself up for a harder crash in the future by giving myself this motivation?
@LonelyTree1455
I believe in using any motivation that one can find....i think more people are stuck because they do not have a motivation reason...
Be realistic you changing your self......... either in school or if you find some work or a path you want to pursue.... your life will change and perhaps something better will emerge ........
in the time you grow and change ........remember other people are not just staying the same either and in the future you may no longer want what you had in past.
Thank you. I’ve been thinking the same, that maybe even if it’s painful right now, challenging myself to keep going by believing that my improvement may bring me back to him someday could be good even if it just keeps me going for now. I worried about it being delusional or harmful to me, but I think it’s better than where I was before which was painfully longing for him to come back to me while also giving up on everything else in my life.
right now I have no friends and maybe these zones of improvement could expand my world a little bit so it is not as painful as it has been…
