After 10+ year of marriage, taking divorce..this period is v stressful
It's been almost 10+yr of marriage and we filed divorce. As We tried everyway to make thing work. Seem sometime thing don't work. My partner never felt that click or special feeling which we feel for somebody. Whose fault it was not that now don't matter. Matter is we don't fight anymore just be good parent after divorce. I am unemployment so worried about future. That true I can ask for monthly maintence but I don't want to dependent much on that. Worried about future as in real life I have no one who could understand and I can hug and cry. Can say you are doing right. All some or other way want me to give chance because they could not realise I had given lot of chance it like we can't force someone to feel for us if his choice in life was different and I turn up something else. I don't want he has to fake or live a life just for the society or being a parent. I could not find a listener who is good in this topic and can give me long term support.
@Divorcsupport first of all, I am extremely sorry for the late response.
I am sorry to hear about the rough patch you going through. I guess you are right, sometimes we left with no other option than making a hard decision and it is never easy to absorb its impact. But I guess we try as we know it is not easier other way as well.
Probably you could start looking for work?Maybe start with a parttime while you get a full time role?
We all are here with you to support and listen.
Also I may not be able to respond to you in timely manner due to my hectic schedule. But feel free to drop message to me whenever you want to talk or discuss anything. I will get back to you as soon as I can.
And meanwhile you could look for other listeners with whom you might get clicked and they provide you a long term support.
Please do share your thought!
@ASilentObserver
Thank so much for your response. It's ok I can understand your busy schedule. It good if I don't get someone long term because at some point we get dependent as being emotional low.
Yeah I am trying to focus on other area of life but it's that some time I don't feel motivate. Stress overshadow what I need to do right moment.
@Divorcsupport I hear you Support and can understand.
But do not you think motivation is short term and discipline is what keeps us going in long run?
Feel free to message or post to discuss the matter and how you feel with us. We are here with you.
Hugs!
@ASilentObserver
Hmmm when we are emotional up and down than I think we need push or motivation. Self discipline than come at second level where we are able or ctrl our emotions our Self.
Here I have found few good listener. But all have life and get busy. Some or other thing we learn from all that keep us moving.
@Divorcsupport You are so right about it and I agree with you. I am glad you found some really supportive listeners. I know we all have our ups and downs but still, you can schedule the chat with your listeners and can discuss.
@ASilentObserver
Ahhh schedule and all. I don't think it would work because to be honest listening someone on serious topic is energy draining.any way it's ok. I am fine whatever help I get. At the end I have to stick on my goals.
@Divorcsupport Okay as you like. But you are always welcome to connect with us here in forums or connect with other listeners for 1-1 chats. <3
@ASilentObserver
Yeah sure. I am big fan of 7cups you would always see me somewhere.
Is there way we can connect with people go ing through similar situation .
@ASilentObserver
Oh my god you are expert in relationship thing I could see now.Why you don't share or give suggestion.You might have been heard so many similar issue.
@Divorcsupport i am not expert DS but I guess due to what I observe around and my own experiences, I know tidbits of it.
Seem in this decision I am all alone. Was relying on one person of my family who might support me but seem he too don't feel I should choice separation as living alone will be tough. It more complicated overall. He said their is no such happiness in life what you r looking for not sure you would get. Stop running and accept the fact and adjust be happy in your way.
You have kids not necessary someone would be able to adjust with your kids. It seem my reason of fail marriage is very common and it seem people take it liked forget and move on. I am just ..
@Divorcsupport i hear you and it is always a battle of one person. Because people who are not in the situation used to see things quite differently that what you do.
There is always a difference between experience and observation. You know how things are hard for ya to keep up. I am sure if you could be able to save it, you probably could have done it already.
Life is never easy. All we could do is flow with the best of our understanding and actions.
Divorcsupport,
I am so sorry to hear you are going through this. Please know that you aren't alone. Though none of our experiences are completely similar, I am also going though a divorce after a long term relationship with a child involved. My situation, though, was that my ex decided to get a divorce, but still expected me to live with him and care for him and our son. I was stuck in that cycle for a year and about a month ago decided that I can't live like that anymore. I deserve better, and even though I have a child, who I love unconditionally, I have a responsibility to my own life as well. I was meant for more in life than to only be an unhappy mother. I want my son to know that he can do whatever he wants and to have respect for himself, but I would need to lead by example. I don't know if any of this resonates with you, but I hope you at least feel less alone in this. You can do whatever you set your mind to. It's a long process, and I haven't gotten where I want to yet, but I am working on it day by day.
@FindingPeace2015
Thank you for sharing . Such post give boost up and motivate too.
In my case I had asked and got him.convince because I was suffering side . He love kids so in anycase he don't want to.lose them. Yet I am not sorted in many thing need to discuss and put on paper.
@FindingPeace2015
Wish member too can talk personal chat. It good to.connect and learn from someone gone or going through similar situation.
I don't know how hard my life be after getting divorce legally after sometime. But one thing I know this relationship is not healthy and it get more confirm when I see my own close one not happy I relationship and whenever I meet them I become their punching bag unnecessary. I try at most I respect them and be nice. I don't expect they understand my situation I get expect they don't burst out their frustration on me by arguing on small thing taunting me. It hurt me. It hurt me. Seriously. I feel to shout loud cry loud. Because I fail every time to keep my emotions aside though how many time I thing I will just ignore them. At least I don't want be that person who burst out till old age because by being in relationship in which they r not happy.
I don't want be such person. I want to be great supporter of my kids and they feel openness to talk to me. Still wondering how I get my inner anger and pain come out completely.
@Divorcsupport hmm I hear you DS and it is good you don't want to be anything like that. You are an amazing person.