Am I overthinking?
Me and my stbx have been seperated for 6 months. We have to be seperated for a year in SC before we can get a divorce. It was mutual. This past weekend he went to see a concert with his close female friend. He did tell me they were going and that they would be staying overnight but in seperate hotel rooms. His friend got married last weekend to her boyfriend of 10 years (they have 2 kids together) and he performed their wedding. He has never once ever given me any reason to not trust him in our relationship. They also spent the day in Charlotte doung tourist stuff before the concert.
He has assured me numerous times that he has no interest in her sexually or as anything more than a friend. In SC, during a seperation you are not allowed to date or have sex with anyone else since you are still legally married. I know deep down nothing happened. However, the anxiety is just eating me up inside and I can't help but think he is lying to me. I mean, I know it is normal for friends to go out of town to do things. Not to mention she is also totally not the type to cheat either.
I even agree with him that it shouldn't matter if they shared a hotel room or not. He has no interest in her at all and vice-versa. Of course once we are divorced he may end up seeing someone else and it's just... confusing. I wish my anxiety would let me believe him.
@RahRahOWP, sorry for the pain. That sounds horrible. It's natural though. You are just going through a type of mourning for the end of the relationship. All those things that you used to do and enjoy with him, you now see him doing with someone else. In fact, you are seeing him do it with a member of the opposite sex, which makes it worse. She's kind of a proxy for you in that way. I've heard from my divorced friends who have split amicably that this is one of the worst parts. There's no solution other than time will heal. You could confront him about it, but that'll just make things worse.
Maybe the best thing you can do is get back out there and start doing things you love more often as well. You can't date, but you can have fun. Start building your life back one piece at a time. You deserve that just like he does. Good luck and once again, sorry you are having a hard time.
@RahRahOWP- I know this is an older thread but reading about South Carolina divorce rules piqued my curiosity. Hopefully you have gotten legal advice. Quickly reading the brief info about SC divorce I found that one may date while separated. So perhaps this info may give you some freedom to move on with your life - or increase your anxiety about partner. The best thing is to focus on what gives you joy in your life and pursue it with all your heart. Best of luck to you.