At a quandary with my ex girlfriend

@DTW2001

Hey there, hopefully you are doing well. There's a few things I would like to point out;

I dated someone for 2 yrs who lived with her ex boyfriend because they were raising their child together. (This is coming across to me as an excuse. The relationship between them "ended" but they are living together to "raise their children"?. This is a red flag to me) They had been broken up for about a yr when we started dating. They seemingly had their own lives but they made an agreement that if they found a partner, the child would not get involved on either side. (I feel like they don't feel confident in who ever they become their step mom/dad, so they are making these agreements to feel safe about themeselves) Anyways, this led to a lot of frustration being I wasnt allowed to get to know her child, or family really at all. (You have every right to feel angry and sad because she is really keeping you away from her inner circle. I get the sense that the relationship with her family and ex is too emeshed, so they will do whatever to keep you away while you begin to feel disconnected) Conflict of interest I guess. Well, beside all of this, I fell in love with her, deeply. (Pay close attention to this. Ask yourself this "How did I fell in love with someone who keeps me away?") We never slept in the same bed,(This is a red flag right here because again she is keeping you away, and probably had feelings for her ex. This feels like a friendship or a roomate situation) we only hung out after work at my house, I wasnt allowed at hers or invited to any family events. (This is a red flag...so you two are supposed to be serious, but she is not willing to introduce you to her family or inviting you to events?. I would have felt frustrated and sad because she is keeping me at a very far distance from her inncer circle. It's impossible to really emotionally connect with someone like her) There were a lot of small things like her hiding her social media accounts from me, saying it wasnt her but I knew it was. (She is deceptive and liar. She is definetly hiding something, however she isn't willing to share it because she fears abandonment and being alone) It was all very deceptive. Then there was another side of her, giving, loving, always asking if I needed anything if she went to store, she was seemingly very kind, but I would catch her on little lies. Recently, we have been trying to move on and become friends but something came up, something personal we went through and people at work(we work together) found out about it, she caught wind of it and basically lost it on me. Expresses nothing but disdain for me. (She expresses disdain and loses on you, but then hides her whole life from you?. She has this entitlement behavior where she is allowed to lie to you, but if she finds out something you didn't tell her is where she will get upset.) Before I met her (ex girlfriend) I was in a bad marriage, so my ex wife is nearby. So, my ex girlfriend claims she had a discussion with my ex wife about some personal things but my ex wife claims it never happened. Who do I believe?!? (Honestly? not this ex)

I havent really slept well or felt well in about 4-5 months since we split up. I have always been an open book with her, she even had keys to my house and I was never even allowed close to her home. (I understand all of this is making you feel anxious and stressed. I feel like you are being an open book to her on order to receive love and being inside her inner circle, however the moment she isn't doing the same is where you ask yourself why she isn't doing the same. I think theres a chance she is still with the other guy, or hiding even more things from you. It's imposible to have a healthy relationship with a woman like this)