Breakup after 8 years
Hello! Long story short: I’ve been with my guy for 8 years but he has never proposed even though I have told him I wanted to be married. We moved to a different state, made a life together, but slowly the relationship been put on the back burner while his job and hobbies have taken priority. He never touches me except when he wants sex, we cannot talk without devolving into an argument, asks me to change almost everything about myself, didn’t try when we went to relationship counseling, and most recently, when I had won a prestigious fellowship (I’m in a PhD program), did not even congratulate me. When I told him this hurt me considerably, he said “you just want people to worship you”. That comment was the one that broke me. I know that I love him because we have created a family together but I am no longer in love with him. I deserve someone who thinks I’m the coolest thing since sliced bread. Someone who doesn’t want to change me. But I have no clue how to tell him that we should go our separate ways. I want him to be happy too and I’m clearly not that person for him. Any help would be appreciated. This is taking a huge toll on me. Thank you!
Thanks for sharing JC, u can drop me a message, happy to chat 1-1 with you. Proud of you for winning a pretigious fellowship, thats such an honour achievement! 8 years is a long commitment, it is hard for sure to break up. U can do it, u deserve someone who loves and appreciate you fully.
Looks like you did the right thing. If he’s not supportive and doesn’t take your feelings into consideration, it leaves you feeling like your feelings don’t matter. When they absolutely do! It’s hard to separate from someone that was a huge part of your life for so long, but focus on yourself and being happy alone. At some point the reason you left will outweigh the feeling of missing him. Just don’t let yourself forget what he’s done and said. You deserve better. You deserve to be happpy
I’m going through a breakup after 9 years together for the reason that I wanted to get married and he didn’t. I’m so proud of you for knowing what you deserve and also for the fellowship! You are goals to me right now because I still have weak moments where I still want to be with him because of how long we’ve been together but that’s never a good reason to stay with someone. I would just suggest being honest with him and telling him that since you are both unhappy that it’s best to separate. I would be prepared for him to push back a little so be prepared on what you would say if he says he’ll change and wants to stay with you. If you have friends or family nearby, maybe ask if you could crash at their place while you find a new place to live since it would be hard to continue living with him while broken up. Good luck to you! I’m rooting for you! 💕
can you ping me. I am glad i found someone in same situation. broke up after 10 yr relationship
How do I ping you? I’m sorry to hear about your breakup but it’s nice to know when someone is going through something similar!
can you ping me . i mean is there any option for the same
Sorry it doesn’t look like there’s a way for me to contact you directly! Maybe you can just start another post and let me know and we can chat there!
I’m really sorry you’re going through that. My sister actually just went through a breakup after they dated for 4.5 years. He wasn’t ready to commit and move forward with his life and she wanted to make a life. I’m not totally sure how it all went down but I think they made a mutual decision to part ways. They had a talk and hugged and said they loved each other but they needed to part ways. It sounds like your relationship is different however, and, again, I’m sorry you’re going through that.
