Can you love someone & not want to marry them?
I’ve been dating my bf all throughout my undergrad years (4 years). Now, I’m graduated and moving to a new city for a job. He wants to move in with me but I’m not sure if I’m ready for that. He also says he sees himself spending his life with me.
He’s my first real, serious boyfriend and the first person I’ve ever loved. He’s my best friend and I don’t think anyone has understood me and cares for me the way that he does. I find myself getting often sad because I feel so immature and like I don’t know what I want out of my life, let alone out of a man I’m gonna spend the rest of my life with. He’s the greatest person I’ve ever known and I can’t picture my life without him. But I genuinely don’t know if I want to marry him. He says continuing our relationship is contingent on me wanting to move in together, or he doesn’t want to waste anymore time, no matter how much we love eachother bc moving in = commitment. I really don’t want to lose him and I can see myself marrying him but there’s also issues like cultural barriers and the fact that I jsut feel so young right now. Am I crazy for the way that I feel?
@scarletHouse8710 Hi! I hope you're well! I definitely don't think you're crazy! You just graduated college and you're so young yet! It's normal to want to continue to still love someone without wanting to marry them right now. We are still living our lives and it's okay to not commit right now. If he can't understand that and will break up with you if you don't allow him to move in, then that's a problem. I think it's really important to have a conversation because communication is key. I hope this helps!! ❤️
@scarletHouse8710 you are not at all crazy for feeling this way. If your gut is telling you that you are not ready then you are not. I have been in this ultimatum type situation in the past. I was also very young but it took me moving in with that person to realize after 6 years that I was not happy. This was because like you I thought this person was everything and didn’t want to lose them. I think you need to experience more life , as heartbreaking as it is, it is extremely unfair for him to give you this ultimatum. Don’t fall victim to it, you just graduated and need to live your life for you right now, not someone else. If he truly loves you he shouldn’t pressure you, and understand you are not ready for that commitment. I’m sorry I know this is hard, if you need to talk I’m here for you. Wishing you only the best in whatever decision you make💕