Cheated on and made to feel worthless
I was in a relationship for 2yrs where I had constantly had to change myself to fit some ideal image. My ex always said I did not have to change yet always told me the things she disliked about me but nothing she liked. It messed with me a lot to the point to where I could not love her because I could not love myself we broke up and I found out she sought emotional love through another person while with me that I was just the physical attention. After all this I find myself still angrier at myself wondering if I really just am not good enough for her or for myself.
I am so sorry that you are going through that. It's not fair but I think if you got to the point where you have to question if you are even good enough or worth anything for yourself maybe it was just time to love yourself and appreciate yourself. I mean if we do not know how to love ourselves how can we love others?
Thank you so much Scarlet! I think you are absolutely correct
@Kiyotaka42
Dear Kiyotaka, first of all, I can feel how hurtful this has been for you. The heartbreak resulting from having someone cheating on us (emotionally or phisically), can cause pain that is equivalent to real trauma.
I am seeing this situation in a way that has nothing to do with your worth, with you being "good enough" or not. The actions of another person are in no way connected to our worth. They are connected with their own needs, values, beliefs, expectations, insecurities and the list goes on. At some point, maybe we stop being a match to those. This often results in the partner turning to someone else to get their needs met.
A suggestion would be trying not taking it too personally, as it doesn't have anything to do with your worth, but perhaps more with a lack of compatibility (which is also evident from her disliking things about you). I get how upsetting this is and that it is difficult to see it from a rational perspective given the anger and disappointment, but have trust in yourself that you will heal from this and even learn something. Speak kindly to yourself, put your self-care first <3
Thank you so much I have not thought about it in that way at all but it makes perfect sense. Thank you so much for these words of wisdom. I will practice giving myself kind words and focusing on this having nothing to do with my own self worth.
