Dealing with a tough breakup? Join us here in venting!
@jzmng97 @Green57 @girafa @colehf
Hey guys! I created this thread so we can talk more about our situation and provide help for each other. How are you four doing today?
Anyone else who sees this thread is more than welcome to jump in at any time, if you're going through a bad breakup. Let's stick together during this process. 
awesome, i'm all in!
@colehf Hey, Cole! Welcome to the thread!
Feel free to chime whenever you want to. I'll definitely respond back when I have time. 
I'm having so much trouble trying to get over my ex boyfriend, I really just want him back but I don't think he feels the same
Im going through the longest breakup experience I've ever had to deal with. I was dating this girl and we were closer than I've ever been with anyone. I spent almost every night in the same bed as her, and ignored almost every other friend or family member to spend more time with her. After a two year relationship (the first one I ever got to last more than a year) my girlfriend decided she wasn't happy anymore completely out of the blue. We broke up for a week (which is already hard), then she called me and asked me to come over to talk. We hooked up and she apologized and told me she loved me and didn't want to lose me. I spent the night, we woke up late the next day and we got lunch. During lunch she told me last night was a mistake and she wanted to not talk to me anymore.
For the next week I was a wreck. She took all of our mutual aquaintances, and I made an ass out of myself by calling her drunk or texting her in the evening (which I'm sure just made it easier for her to move on from me, a person she used to care so deeply for). The next week passed and I was finally starting to feel healthy again. She texted me asking if I wanted to get coffee, and the next day we met up, talked a bit and it felt amicable. I texted her several times the next week and we were friendly enough, which was what I needed because just a month ago, she was my best friend and closest partner in the world.
Now in the story it is week 3. Our aquaintences got together and we all went to see a movie (something I wasn't really invited too until I asked one of the friends about it). She was there, sitting very close to one of my few friends. After the movie I texted her asking if she could pick me up since we were planning to get coffee again the next day. At first she didnt respond, and eventually she said she couldn't pick me up, but she also couldn't tell me why.
I asked her if the coffee was cancelled and she said "yes, and I don't think we should text anymore". Turns out she couldn't pick me up because she wasn't at home. She stayed the night at my friend's house. I guess I should've known because she never had a history of staying single for long from what I knew.
But it still felt like she was breaking up with me for the third time in three weeks. Right now I am approaching 4 weeks since we first broke up, and I am even more of a wreck. I am so lonely, I have no close friends, and everything that I enjoy and everything in my home is a reminder of her. I still have a screenprinted blanket with our picture on it that was going to be her valentine's present. Instead of a sudden break this feels like it has been a slow burn, and now I am approaching the level of complete crisp where I completely crumble. This girl has been so awful to me, and yet I still see her face when I think of my future. In my dreams she is always there acting like nothing is different. I've tried to hide my pictures of her but the still crop up and it hurts more than anything in the world to see her beautiful eyes look lovingly at me. I would give anything to go back in time a few weeks and just stay there forever.
Well, I was doing pretty fair in the morning but I ended up doing too much thinking. Now I have a major tension headache. It's been close to two years since he ceased contact with me and he's always been consistently in my head. It's days like these that I regret ever knowing him.
I'm off to take some advil.
@TrueArrow
I'm too in love with him and we've broken up already due to the distance. He met a girl, they started dating, he still loves me, but he likes that girl and is somewhat his distraction as well, idk im just too in love and I dont know how to get out anymore. I'm so confused and my life is a mess because of it now.
@bubblingHero97
I'm so sorry to hear that 
I know ldrs are hard and the end can be very hard to accept. How long were you together?
@TrueArrow
we we're together for 7months, our relationship was very very complicated. We broke up, said we'll date once we meet, and during that time, we won't meet other people, but then he did, and my life got messed up at that point and is still messed up. This all happened 2 weeks ago. Idk how to get my life on track. But I'm happy he met someone else, he says he still loves me and stuff but he wants to move on which I get.
But im happy for him, I am :)
@bubblingHero97
It's great that you both are still able to communicate and have some level of friendship and affection for each other! However, I can see why you are having a rough time moving on, it's hard to watch someone you love, love another. What healthy methods have you tried in order to cope with the pain and loss of the relationship? Perhaps you can help someone here needing inspiration to move on.
@TrueArrow
i am coping this really unheathily and even I know that, but it helps me from time to time, but at the end of the day, someone will get hurt and that person won't be me. I don't know, I've been thinking about changing another method, but idk, I'm somewhat stuck
i could really use some help my relationship of 6 yrs ended he left me i was faitful /loyal/always there for him . its been 3 years i cant get over him . im ok for a while then i get these emotions or something reminds me of him and i wast ot just call but thats just it i call 100 times leave 50 messages text 200 times begging him to call me back and he blocks me . he plays with me by returning one of my 100 calls just to play with me then im left leavimng messages agian and cryin on the voicmail and his many girlfriends call me telling me to leave him alone. do they think i dont want to its hard for he is all i no i planned my life with him and he just gave up on me :(
@wyalita
Hey, wyalita I'm not sure if you're wanting some advice or my own thoughts on your situation, so I'll do my best. The one thing that stands out to me in your message, is your lack of worth. If you were faithful, loving, dedicated and always there for him, then the way he is acting only shows how little he values you. Inside your message, you actually received some really good advice (albeit probably not intended that way), moving on IS what you should do. As long as you remain in the mindset that you need him and that you don't deserve better, you will continue to stay in this awful place. Even if you don't feel your worth, logically you have to start recognizing it. Only then will it feel right too when you start treating your heart and body respectfully.
I wish you all the best, good luck.
Okay so I kind of need some advice. My ex and I have been through so much, i dumped him 2 years ago and he came back a year ago to rebuild but at the end of the year he came back my parents did not allow me to date him anymore and he wanted to leave anyway because he said I am too much to handle. We do not talk and he is friends with the girl who has done so much hurt to me, he calls her his sister it is hard to see them everyday. He stares at me sometimes and today he sat behind me and statted singing sad love songs in his language. I just want to know if this means anything. He has attempted last term to play card games witb me and my friends.
How do you get over the thought of your ex moving on? It hurts to think there's someone out there that'll suit him better than me and that will be able to do things I couldn't. It's what I'm really struggling with right now, and I'm hoping I'll get to the point where I can just be happy for him, and I hope it's soon because this hurts a lot. I don't want to rush into dating or anything just to try and out do him because I know that's not really healthy. Anyone able to offer some reassurance in any way? :/
I just got broken up with my boyfriend of 4 months. We met through a dating site and things went so well until I went on vacation to see family overseas for 2 months. While I was away and still overseas currently. He broke up with me because he knew that his family situation was/is going to be shitty and didn't want to drag me down with him while he was dealing with it. We've talked about it and he told me he loves me but it's hard to let go because It's my first real love and i've never experinced dating/love. I need some help.
@Princessarti
*Hugs* I'm sorry to hear about your breakup. What kind of help are you looking for?
Hi everyone, I broke up with m girlfriend of 4 years about a month ago. We still live together and last night she was basically begging me to get back with her. She wanted to know why I had broken up with her (It told her as I have several times when she wants to talk about it). She then says that my reason(s) are not good enough. That I do bad things to her too, that I would force her to have sex or do sexual things- and that she "Just got over it." Is she right? Am I a bad person? I never thought I was forcing her to do anything- and the other night, she woke me up to come lay in bed with her, she rubbed her leg onto me and I started to be sexual with her until she told me to get off, in which I stopped my advances and then went back to the couch. We've had a dead sex life, with very little intimacy over the past few years and she now tells me that this is why- that I was always forcing her into sex. I look back and I can't tell. Did I? But then I can think of many times that I had 0 interest but I always made the effort. I think she's being manipulative and I'm sure she has narcissistic tendencies. But what if I am basically sexual assaulting her? Am I less justified to be breaking up with her? Am I the bad guy here really?
@MoonBeast
Hey, Moon! It does seem a bit odd that if she felt like you coerced her into sex, that she would want to get back together. Or make it a justification for any wrong doing she has done. It's really impossible to give an opinion of whether you sexually assaulted her (as both sides are not present) but with the information that you provided, I would be disinclined to accuse you of it. If such accusations are being made, I would seriously reconsider continuing to live with your ex. Not only is it making you feel bad, but she is pressuring you to get back together. It seems to be a unhealthy living situation for both of you.
What do you think?
@TrueArrow
I've had a HUGE amount of support from my friends both online and in real life. They all say she will try anything and everything to get me to stay. I don't think I did anything wrong- maybe the other night, but then I was already groggy and horny, and she knows how to turn me on- so while I was wrong to start trying to make advances- I stopped as soon as she asked me to. I have always stopped when she says no- and if I feel I need to ask if she wants me to stop or I need a yes, I do ask. My friends say she's the one withholding sex as a way to control me. I practically had to beg for anything like it. She's upset about it and feels like I don't want her. My friends all say that I need to get out- and fast. But I worry I've made myself a victim in all this and that maybe I'm not. I'm having self-doubts settle in and that maybe I've overreacted to everything. I've never had a long term girlfriend before, so I don't really know if I'm doing this wrong or right. I feel like leaving this relationship is best for not just me, but her as well.
@MoonBeast
It's possible that both of you have made mistakes that led to the inevitable breakdown of your relationship, but that doesn't make what she is attempting any less wrong. It's hard not to feel victimized when serious accusations are being made, so I understand your feelings. I think it's important that whatever the case is, to reflect on what went wrong and try to better yourself. It's also important to end the relationship as lovingly and respectfully as possible. It sounds like you know what you need and you have the support of your family and friends, which is awesome! Perhaps it's just a matter of consistedly implementing the needed changes (for example, not becoming intimate with her again and not laying in bed with her since you are no longer together).
I wish you the best of luck! Take care! xx
@TrueArrow
Update: I left 2 months ago, even went to the police about the abuse.
I'm healing, I am surrounded by a wonderful network of friends and love.
I've lost weight, I look healthy and I am due to get a place very soon. Still need to get the rest of my stuff, but I have a support worker who is helping with that.
I am growing into myself again.