Devastated and confused
My husband and I have been married for 5 years. Earlier this year (March-ish) we decided to have a baby, who is now 2 weeks old. We thought it would be difficult to get pregnant since it had been 4 years with no protection whatsoever. Turns out it wasn’t, and we got pregnant the same month.
About 2 years prior, our sex life fell off. Partly because of my own depression issues. Partly because he causes me pain sometimes. . So I kind of stopped having sex with him. We slowed down to maybe 1-2 times per month. Sometimes not at all. We are only in our early 30s.
2 months ago I found out that he had been having an affair that started in March of this year. The same time we agreed to have a baby.
Long story short, she’s pregnant. And I don’t know what to do. We have a 2 week old newborn, and outside of the affair he is/was a perfect husband. He has always taken very good care of me, emotionally and physically. He’s always been very sweet. I don’t want to lose him. Aside from our sex life, our marriage was perfect. He was/is my soul mate. I want to forgive him. But I cannot deal with another baby. Am I wrong? Should I forgive or walk away?
I cant tell you what to do, but he cheated on you and that was wrong no matter how sweet and supportive he is. Also, I do believe in second chances, but if think he would continue to cheat then that's a problem. And if you cant handle another baby outside marriage, you don't have to. Then again marriage is to death do us part. You can consider marriage counseling. I think you should consider having a serious talk with him. Let him know how you feel and see if he respects that and is willing to change. Marriage is also about making each happy. You have really consider what you're willing to deal with. If the pros outweighs the cons and if he doesn't cheat again. You should always forgive, but it doesn't mean you have to live a life where you're more miserable than happy. Sorry if this isn't helpful.
I don’t think he would cheat again. But I also never in a million years thought he would cheat in the first place. Hindsight is always 20/20, I know I’ve been naive. He seems very remorseful, and if it weren’t for his baby on the way I would hands down work on our marriage, it’s brought us a little closer. We’ve opened up to each other in ways we never have before. I just don’t know what to do….