Discovering some covert narcissistic traits
After breaking up with my boyfriend, a close friend feels that he may be a covert narcissist. Though I don't know if it's true, he shared some traits.
1. He's humble
2. He's passive-aggressive
3. He's controlling
4. He's autistic and would not associate with my of my other autistic friends because they were not high functioning enough
5. He never apologized
6. He had no respect for boundaries
7. We live in the same community and there were several times when I would be at the community pool near his house or attend a function. He would walk by and completely ignore me and then go back into the house to do his own thing. Then one other time, I was at a community party, he kept walking back and forth to the dumpster
1. I called told other people I he was my boyfriend but he shook his head in the distance
2. As he was walking by, he would put his headphones on when he passed by me
@Summershy
8. He bailed, stood me up, and led me around about getting together before post-poining or bailing.
@Summershy,
the point I'd, you don't know neither does your close friend.
It seems quite common that, after a breakup, one tends to "analyze" the situation, the other person.
Understandable but don't overdo it. And definitely don't go with what others might think. They are just outsiders and can do more harm than good.
There are reasons for a breakup and there are reasons we never might know. What matters is, and that takes space and time, what you took out of it, what you learned about yourself.
In whatever kind of relationship, we tend to focus on the others behavior. Whereas you should ask yourself, "what can I do to improve the relationship". That is, if the relationship feels worth putting effort in. With focus on "feel", what do you really feel. A true feeling for me is one that just pops up, without any thoughts to go with it. Intuition. Gut feeling.
Ham, I hear what you are saying . However, are you aware that some of your statements come across as condescending?
@dukeofdearham
Your perspective is interesting because aren't you and outsider as well? Additionally, based on your posts, it seems like you want to be bigger and better than everyone else. However, truly bigger people lift others and don't make them feel empty or bad about themselves.
@Summershy,
that's your perception. All the best to you.
@dukeofdearham
Wow you are so much more important…. in your own head.
@dukeofdearham
Ha I was going to say I rly like this post and then I see you got labelled as "condescending".. it doesn't sound at all condescending to me?
@Summershy sadly 3 of those traits are similar to someone that I recently dealt with. Just from my experience alone you can't reason with them. Doesn't matter if you explain anything or try to show kindness, they will only show more passive aggressiveness, ignore you more, blame you more. it's actually useless. I had to delete this persons number because he wasn't making it easy, he was just confusing me more and more.
I talked to my counselor about it. She also thought that his negative behaviors and the way he acted seemed like he was covert.
