Don't know if I should hold on or let go

@Shayla86 I'm sorry to hear this happened to you :( That must be hard to deal with. Do you think after some time he might be willing to talk it through with you? If you could talk to him right now, what would you say?

It does sound like it must be a difficult time for you, and I do hope your situation improves soon <3

@Shayla86

Hey there, hopefully you are doing well. There's a few things I would like to point out;

My guy and I have been together for 6 and half years, engaged for a year and a half. Back in September he starting spending time with a woman that he worked with, and I found out. (This is very deceptive of him, it shows how he rather go out with other women without communicating to you about how he feels. I can also sense he seeks external validation and for his unmet needs from childhood to bet met. It's impossible to have a healthy relationship unless he seeks therapy) We made up some weeks later (This is a sign the fear of "I don't want to be alone" or "i dont want to lose him" took over, and it made you forgive him easily without making him work. I bet things were never resolved) and since then I had major trust issues at the same time he lost someone in his family and he was grieving by drinking heavily which was making him angry. (This is a sign he doesn't do well with grieving or when he faces problems, instead he seeks to distract himself. This is a red flag because he doesn't have healthy coping mechanism, and then he will do the same things in the relationship) I tried to be understanding because I knew he was going through something. During this time about every two days he would pack his bags and go to his mother's house. Than on the 20th of October I found two pictures in his phone of nude woman that he was texting during our time apart and I got upset because I asked him during our time apart have to talk to any woman and said no. (This lies of him are starting to add up, so this means his word and actions don't really mean thing. He will tell you what you want to hear, but the moment he feels anxiety is where he will lie and then do things behind your back) Than he planned a whole day with someone but he stood he up. (This is rude of him to do) About a week later we made up things was going ok, (I can tell the "we made up things was going ok" is not genuine. Deep down you don't trust him, however the need to not be alone or lose him makes you forgive him way too easily.) I still had my suspicions and last Thursday he told me he had plans with a couple of his friends. And based off his pass lies where he used his frien . I called his friend to say he wanted to confirm their plans and his friend was confused but covered. I got very upset and joined some dating sites and chatted with a guy which was a pointless conversation and than he came home all happy and talking about plans. (I can tell you felt hurt and sad which made you talk with someone else as some sort of revenge or to cause some type of hurt) Early around 5am the next morning I told him I text a guy and when I went back to sleep he went through my phone and packed his bags and left. Now he wouldn't talk to me. My problem is I loved him enough to forgive him. (No...love isn't the reason you keep frogiving him. The main reason you forgive him is because you might not have a good graps of boundaries, and often you might not want to be alone. Fears and anxiety are the reasons you "forgave him", however it was not a genuine forgiving) Why can't he (I see why you would say this since what he did was worst, but it goes to show you how selfish he can be. He feels justified when he went out with another woman, but soon as you talk with a guy is where he feels what you did was the most awful thing)