Don't know what to do about the situation with my ex boyfriend

Hi, so I'm posting here hoping I will get some support from people who have (or have not!) been through this and that could enlighten me on my question/worries...
I'm sorry if this is going to be a long post but I've never posted anything on any forum because of the negative energy that I felt coming from answers, which I thought wasn't the case on here.
So just to set the situation, I'm 19 years old girl who's boyfriend broke up with almost a month and a half ago. We dated for a year and 7 months and so we started dating right after high school (where I live in Canada, high school finishes when you 17, then you go to Cegep which is 2 years, and then you go to University when you're around 19 years old). Although it wasn't my first serious relationship, it was for him. My ex is a very low profile type of guy, he's very mature and kinda has an old soul, too. He's highly intelligent but that has trouble expressing how he feels and what he wants (he was a lot worst before we started dating, now better), and has a tendency to avoid whatever brings conflict into his life. His family is extremely important to him. He's starting university at McGill University in our hometown this coming spring. For my part, I am a pretty extroverted person that likes to socialize but I'm not the type to have 20 friends and go out every weekend. I do have a lot of ''friends'', but I much more prefer spending a Friday night at a cozy bar with 2-3 of my closest friends to talk than to go out clubbing. I decided to do one more semester in Cegep and so I am only going to uni for the 2017 winter semester. I've always been very honest as a person and I am not afraid to talk, express how I'm feeling or what I'm thinking. I prefer deep connection than small talks, etc.
When I was in the final year of my high school I developed an eating disorder, anorexia. My ex has always been very supportive of me and for the longest time he was the only person to truly know about everything. Last year, my anorexia changed to bulimia, and that's when it started going down for me. My parents divorced 4 years ago because my dad was psychologically violent and my mom developed depression as well as alcoholism. When my mom got out of detox center and moved out, I stayed with my dad. Until he became psychologically violent with me, too. Last summer, after a physical fight with my sister because of accumulated tensions, and my dad treating me like garbage, I just left the house and lived with some relatives for 4 months until my mom felt emotionally ready to let me move in. This was probably the peak of my bulimia as it was extremely stressful.
Throughout that time, I felt myself becoming more and more unlike myself: I was bitter, full of resentment, jealous, anxious, and I started being very demanding and emotionally draining to my ex. I would always flip out for nothing or spend the day saying how I felt like sh*t because of what I ate, etc. It was heavy. I wanted to control everything and felt as if what I deserved wasn't given to me (ex: my ex's parents, who are pretty much rich, would announce a trip to Europe and I would become super cold to my boyfriend, out of jealousy..). At the end, it's like anything he would say could be turned against him. Time went by and things got a bit better after very deep convos, but never good enough because now I can see I had a lot of unsettled issues within myself.
Approximately 2-3 months before the breakup, my ex started telling me that he felt depressed, unmotivated for anything and disconnected from his family, and he didn't know why. And I felt it. He started getting very emotionally distant from me, even physically. He looked sad and in his head a lot. He broke up with me on Easter. He told me he had been thinking about it for some days (I asked I'm if it truly was that or if he'd been thinking about for longer, he said that of course it came up in is head but that he never came to the breakup conclusion), and that he didn't feel like he was in this relationship for the right reasons. I asked him if he'd lost feelings for me, to which he said no and that he couldn't really pin point what felt wrong, but that it just did, cause he was unhappy. We both cried a lot, and he said he wanted to keep me in his life because we have such a deep connexion and he promised that after some time, he would rekindle our deep friendship.
We used to go to the gym at the same times in our schedules and so we agreed on going to the gym on those times and that it would be our little get together to keep in touch with eachother, but nothing more. I have a need for closure and so I asked him to go and have a beer with me after gym, which he said 'yeah yeah' a couple of times but never actually went through with. I brought it up 2 weeks after the breakup and he said he didn't want me to think he didn't want to hang out with me, but that I didn't want to because he wasn't ready, that it was as if we were still dating. I explained I had some questions in my head, things to ask him, and so he agreed. We went for a coffee that same afternoon and I tried to ask him to give us a second chance, on a fresh start, given that I had realized how the relationship was toxic for the both of us since I never realized those things about myself and that I had grown a lot in such a small amount of time, understanding the need for individuality in a relationship. He said he simply didn't want to be in a relationship anymore, that he's going to Uni next year and that he doesn't want to miss any opportunity to meet new people or to feel as if his actions can have an impact on someone he cares about. He said it wasn't about other girls and that he, for a year at least, really simply wanted to be alone to discover himself more, what he wants, what he doesn't. Only after a couple of years would he be ready to settle down and see who in his life he feels he could spend the rest of his life with (those were his exact words). I accepted his answer, and since he had to go, we agreed on meeting again the following Sunday night for a beer. That was super fun, we talked about our future and he said that in a perfect world, in a couple of months from now, when we're both healed, we could start going to restaurants again, go to concerts, hang out together like we used to, but as friends. He said he didn't know when that'd be possible but that we should both be laid back with one another and concentrate on ourselves. He said he didn't want some for us to play games together like 'oh I texted him twice in a row so now he has to text me first'. He also said he thought worrying about the future wasn't necessary and didn't serve any purpose and that I shouldn't wait for him to text me as he won't be waiting for me either.
I like seeing him but given the fact that I still hope on a relationship with this person in the future, I don't know how I should act. I don't want him to take me for granted but I don't see the need for stupid games like going no contact and ignoring him, etc. I want him in my life and every time we meet at the gym it's never awkward. Of course there's this kind of wall between us, but we still aren't shy with each other.
Even though I officially have been in recovery for a month (yeah!), I recently have been diagnosed with anxiety and I struggle a lot with over thinking, worrying. And I find myself worrying about the fact that he doesn't seem to worry. Never did he expressed fears or concerns about us like I did, and when we see each other I really want to know what's up with him, for real. And he talks a lot but rarely asks about me, or he does, but not on the deep level I'd like to. He has a Tumblr and posts on it regularly, and he checks mine almost every day also. He posts a lot of things about personal growth, beauty and about 'never forgetting' or learning to be alone and how it's good. At first he was posting very depressing things but not anymore. I just don't know what to do now, cause I find myself wanting to feel this connexion with him, and thank god he changed all of his social network/google passwords because I would be on his facebook all the time. I even cracked is facebook password once, which he changed the same night again. I'm not proud of having done that, but it can show you how anxious I get about 'not knowing' when I used to know everything about him. I know I can't control him or his thoughts and that all I can control is myself. I just feel so lost when it comes to him and me. I'm scared.