Feels weird, being happy
Gf left me in January because she said she never felt like a priority. I pay for everything while living at home and didn't get a car until November. I didn't have the mental capacity to plan dates, etc because of physical therapy school. Skool is finally over. Feels like a 60 ton boulder lifted off my chest. I go to the gym. Buy food care/stress free. Have my own car, its a prius so I barley pay for gas lmfao, and can drive anywhere I want carefree. Everything is falling into place, and its amazing. I've never had so much leisure time after work because I've always had soccer, school, work to do. Now I just go to work and have all the free time in the world to do whatever the *** I want. I have TIME FOR A RELATIONSHIP.
I've always been around my parents who had supermarkets, and its always been 100mph all the time running a business. So stress has always been where I feel comfortable I guess, whether its soccer, school work, juggling all those things. (I suck at school, I could work 80 hours a week and be 20% as stressed as I would be if I was just in school doing nothing else). My ex gf didn't understand what it means to put yourself through school and just expected me to be there when I physically couldn't. and she expected my parents to help fund their adult child's relationship, because her parents do.
After 7 years pursuing physical therapy, and after all the sacrifices, its beyond worth it, the grass isn't just greener, theres a whole effing garden here, like WHATTTTT. I shouldn't have to feel guilty for putting school first, and my ex gf not understanding that in this stage in life, there are bigger things then our relationship, which she put first before her own future, which was wrong of her. Her family is all codependent on each other, so I understand where she has these codependent traits from. But after everything, it does still feel weird...in the best way...to know I earned and deserved the happiness I feel everyday, after having gone through the most grueling academic program of my life, during the middle and end of covid, a recession, paying for school myself, and buying a car myself. Triumphs her parents took from her(they pay for all her living expenses). I truly am happy and for the first time in my life, BEYOND proud of myself. (Like I GET PAID ADULT MONEY STRATING AFTER JUNE 16TH LIKE WHATTTTTTT. I'm not gonna know what to do with myself hahahah)
Therapy has helped so much and my therapist also said my ex gf should not have been telling me all these petty things her parents said about me "living off of her" any of the few times we did go out, meanwhile I'm in school, covid, and barely work, etc. If anyone seeing this feels like everything you're working towards is making you lose everything and everyone, you have to sacrifice what you are for what you will become. and its so worth it. There's no better feeling in the world knowing you wake up having EARNED your happiness because you earned it by yourself, not with "help" from parents who take that achievement away from you in the long run.
Feels weird weird to have time, to have options, to have me back. Feels weird to be happy. I love it.
You got this(anyone reading this)
i understand the feeling , specially the last two lines
@toughPapaya1551 I am happy that you finally found your happiness! You deserve to feel happy just like everyone else <3 😊
Hi,
You are probably still grieving the relationship a little which is normal. You should be and you do sound proud of yourself and for everything you were able to accomplish. It's too bad that it sounds like your girflriend could not be the support you desired at the time during the relationship and was unable to understand your circumstances despite that you put in the effort to accomplish all you have.
You are right to be enjoying yourself. I think it's wonderful that you are happy and that you managed to accomplish all of that, and have a job you like, which is very important. I say enjoy your life which it sounds like you are already doing. Don't feel bad. Your ex probably still has a lot to learn herself in life and/or sounds like she probably is still tied with or has an unhealthy relationship with her family who tells her what to do.
Sounds like you are ready for someone a little more mature or someone who also knows what they want in life or can appreciate and have the same goals as you. Good for you.
Never say never but don't let the past get in the way, you have already done so much and it doesn't sound like that will be the case.
I am happy to read of your successful outcome!