Filling the void

Hey there...

So a while back I met a really cool chick, and I felt like I had a serious connection with her. We hung out and had fun, and eventually ended up hooking up. Later I learned I was kind of a rebound from some heartbreak she had dealt with. After all that blew over we decided to be friends, but at the same time she kind of just ignored me... She's dealt with a lot of depression/anxiety issues and it worried me sick that she wouldn't talk to me at all.

I got over it and was over even trying to be in a relationship with her, but I still felt like I needed to be around her. Even as a friend I felt different around her, like I was super charged with energy and I felt as if I could do anything. But having lost contact with her I feel weak and hollow, and I've been desperately trying to fill the void.

So far I've been hitting up chicks like crazy (I normally stick to myself, I don't put myself out there much) but I feel more hallow than I did before. While a lot of these girls are really nice, they just seem boring to me, and each experience leaves me feeling more hallow and exhausted. I'm not sure if what I am doing is healthy, some people say it is but I honestly just feel more shitty inside, and I keep feeling bad for whatever I did to lose contact with the one girl that actually made me feel whole.

Where should I go from here? For a while I was able to feel better with diet and exercise, but now even that's lost it's touch. Should I move away, become a monk, and join a monastery? I'm so lost at this point, I feel like I'm just going through my daily routines devoid of purpose or meaning. I'm just lost...