Heartbroken and lost
I just made the decision to leave my husband after one year of marriage and being together for almost 5 years. We worked opposite shifts and lost time with one another. I've changed from how we use to be when we started. Use to play games and make music together. Now I barely have the energy to get out of bed. He has been pushing for my to switch shifts which it's much of an opportunity for me due to labor and people. He's been drinking more and lately been sweet one more then angry and hurtful the next. I go into anxiety alot due to past relationships and have been working on it, just still have ptsd from things. My mental health isn't an excuse and I don't use it as one. Tonight he pushed so much, I can't forgive or trust him right now and not sure if I can anymore. I feel terrible for hurting him and giving up. I also can't put myself through the back and forth anymore. I couldn't handle being threatened with divorce just so he could get a reaction out of me when I've been trying to take the time to rational thinking about the decision I've made. So am I in the wrong for leaving and not switching shifts?
@LostLunara It's important that you do whatever you need to do to work on yourself. You'll need to love yourself before you can put the energy into loving someone else.
Iam sure like you, he also has past relationships. He has to reconcile with. Nobody is the same. If he gives you space and time. It's the same for you as it him. Good luck and God speed.
i think you might find the different shifts are a symptom but not the real issue...... the drinking and mean or bitter behavior signals a bigger issue .......
think of what changed .. how you treat each other.... how you connect .... do you have money or other outside issues... i now when we used to pick fights it was about trivial items not the main heart of the problems .........
i often wonder why people even get married unless they had gone through the whole living together and issues for years before actually signing the contract on paper ..........
@LostLunara
Though we all think of the relationships with our family, friends, and spouses as being the most important one in our lives, in truth they are not. It is our relationship with ourselves that is by far the most vital one to our well-being. It hurts when we have to separate away from people we care for, but if those relationships don't bring us joy, or even worse if they bring us unhappiness, then we need to do what is best for us. You are not in the wrong, the shifts were not the problem just a symptom of the situation. It will be hard, especially in the beginning, but you are about to enter a new and hopefully happier chapter in your life. You made the right decision.