Hello all
Hello,
I am new here. I'm wrestling with the frustration of being disrespected by my wife. I'm not at the top of priorities nor do I feel loved or understood. I'm really hurt that a friend of hers comes before me. I work, I do outside chores and inside. I've shared my concerns about her health and weight because my parents passed away from health issues, but everything I say is brushed aside. I'm trying to seek counseling for myself first, but I feel I need to be away from the "noise" that she brings. Haven't been intimate in a while and that adds to it. Separation is one of the last options, but it's hard to do when you really love someone.
@jalex15 sorry youre feeling unheard and unwanted - by someone who you love and who was meant to offer you that loving support as well. I understand. Without communicating with respect, things do get unusually difficult. Is she willing to listen to you about how you are feeling ? Do you have an inkling of her side of the story- why she is moving apart from you? What is going on inside her?
@jalex15
It is hard to try to help a relationship issue by working on one person (ourselves). I tried to do this also while I can see things differently it pushed me closer to leaving then resolving the issues. self improvement is always a good thing just realize your growth may surprise you in a direction you are not expecting. Reconnecting requires discovering the disconnect together for re-connection in my opinion. Will she do couples counseling?
It sounds like she disconnected from you a while ago. If she is focused and confides in a friend instead of you... do you understand why? It seems you have not heard her side either.
I can say from experience Sooner is better then later in dealing with this disconnect. we try to wait it out / see if it improves. Time only sets in frustration and resentment.
Can you make time to have a uninterrupted discussion and share your feelings. Try using the "I feel" statements can help in framing issues not as accusing but just how you see it. People say they have talked but unless it sinks in .......you may not have communicated. I used to argue with my partner but got no where used the I feel method and had better results.