High school breakup

@ruzelac By saying he wanted to "focus on college" he may have really meant he wanted to focus on the freedom college would give him. That's not to say your relationship could not have lasted, but it's also not unusual that relationships in high school don't last beyond that because of the huge life change many of you go through.

I'm sorry he did that, though. But I will say this: it sounds like he's immature and that he actually did you a favor. It hurts now but he wasn't ready (and that's okay). It seems like maybe it was time for the two of you to go your separate ways and it's better to do it now rather than string it along.

There's someone else out there for you. Maybe your ex will come back into your life. Maybe this is the end of a chapter for you. But for now, I'd say enjoy senior year as much as possible becase this time is never coming around again, and there's no point on wasting it on someone who isn't worth it.

@ruzelac

Hey there, hopefully you are doing well. There's a few things I would like to point out;

About a month ago, my boyfriend of 3 years broke up with me. We are both seniors in high school and he broke up with me because he wanted to focus on college. (This is a bs excuse he is using to let you down easily) I totally understand that, (he wants to be a lawyer) (I don't buy this excuse, the real he is telling you this is because he didn't want to be too close and wanted to do other things. He didn't end things because of "college", if he really wanted to be with you then he would have make time on his schedule. I would really look at his actions than his words) and I was fine with remaining friends as he wanted. (I don't know if you want him back or not. If you do have feelings for him and decide to be friends then its only going to hurt you in the long run) however, recently I have found out he did a ton of things behind my back and continues to do so....definitely not focusing on college lol. He gets drunk, hangs out with other girls/hits on them, and smokes/vapes. (Thats the real reason he ended things, it wasn't because of college) While we were together, I never. Ever. Saw this side to him. I am now questioning if I even know him. It is very hard looking at him now and still try to remain friends, (Its a bad idea to be friends with him) despite what hes done. We have no classes together which is a relief, but he never leaves my mind. I feel like I have a constant need to check his Instagram which is a bad habit. (I think this your way to feel connected to him, to keep tabs on him and to not be filled with uncertainty about him) It is very hard to move on and see him go down this path but Im not sure what to do. We are both on the bowling team and I hate seeing him there, but apart of me misses him. Any advice? (Being friends with him is bad idea because its causing you more harm than good)

I'm sorry you had your ex change on you. I can relate - I've felt like I've known people several times in my life only to have them change on me and leave me confused and doubting the authenticity of our past together. But considering that you were together for three years, and how young you two are, I think it's safe to believe that your relationship and the way he acted was genuine in those moments. I also think people are entitled and expected to change, especially when they're young. Your ex making the excuse of "focusing on college" was definitely inconsiderate, but I can see how he might feel pressured to give you that excuse since partying is stigmatized and your feelings might've been even more hurt to know that he would choose a life of partying over you.

Don't get me wrong, your ex's actions from the perspective of the relationship are terrible. You deserve better. But I can understand them from the perspective of a nuanced human being.

Things will get better. Good luck.