How could you leave somebody you love?
I think about him everyday and my love is still there no matter how much I try to hide it, and he doesn
@ceceiliac
It sounds like you're still in love the version of him in your memories, the person he used to be, or maybe the person you thought he was in your perception ... From what you've shared it's quite clear that you are not in love with the present person, rather his current choices and behaviour quite rightly, shock you. When you reminisce you go back to where he was more tuned to the guy you love. It's a difficult transition but hope lies in reminding yourself of why you broke up. Of the facts you stated stronger than the emotions evoked by memories of an illusion. Even if he does come back and pretend to be together, or say he loves you, he is not the guy you think of in your memories. He is still the guy who took up that "dare" and disrespected you publicly.
@0m I still do love him, but I no longer love the person he is becoming. He is surrounded by people who dont care about his well being and arent worried about his safety. I of course posted some things that upset him before, but all I want is to just talk it out with him, and just forgive and forget
@ceceiliac
Your words show me the depth of feelings you have for him and the relationship you had. Since your relationship has previously had the on/off pattern maybe that contributes to your hopes of getting back together.
In the meantime, I hope you are looking after your well being and routine! It's really important to consciously bring in other positive moments in our day to help us reduce dependence on those thoughts.