How to find out if he's not in love or if he just behaves like that after some time of dating?

@Luculele hey hun! So I think what you're currently experiencing is what I like to call Stale Relationship Syndrome, where slowly (but surely) the initial infatuation wears off and you're left with only each other.

This is the stage where one of two main scenarios could occur- (1) you guys start getting used to each other and discover more about each other as human beings. You learn about each others flaws, and you find out that you can live with each other as you are, finding compatibility with physical aspects (like sex) and emotional aspects, as you mentioned in your post. (2) is that you realise after the 'puppy love' has worn off, your partner doesn't really fit into your everyday life. If you find yourself emotionally bending to fit your needs and lifestyle around your partner rather than having your partner fit to your lifestyle, then you're at the not-so-ideal second scenario. Most couples will wind up breaking up over this realization, or they will fight and compromise and readjust their lifestyles and emotional rhythms until scenario (1) is achieved.

As far as I know, that's how these stages work. Judging from your scenario, I'd say you're in between (1) and (2), but only you can tell me that yourself! If you feel as though you're more like scenario (2), then it's time to communicate with your partner and express that you feel as though your emotional needs aren't being met. It's perfectly normal for relationships to encounter dillemas like these ones, and communication is key! Maybe your partner doesn't even know that you feel this way, and communication could be used to avoid unecessary conflist while also giving you greater piece of mind.

Hope this helped. I'd be happy to discuss this with you further! Take care of yourself, and I hope that whatever choice you make with this relationship brings you greater happiness and self-growth :)

@Luculele

Hey there, Thank you for posting your situation, I would like point out some things.

I am sure it has happened to many people already. You start dating a guy. Infact he is the one who shows interes first, is making effort to make you his and you start dating, (This is definetly how the honeymoon phase starts, it probably lasts around a month to three months. In this time everything is excited and new, you two want to know about each other, spend time with each other, both sides also put their best foot forward). but than after few months you realize he doesn't text you as much as before. You two dont see each other as often either and when you meet it's mostly about sex. (This tells me he has gotten complacent in the relationship, he stopped doing the little things, doesn't text as you much, not willing to see you like before sweet and romantic things he might have done on the past stopped. The level of effort and dedication decreases, and then his focus shifts from what he should give to what he should get out of it. He is coming across as insecure, trying to force things here and there, focusing on mostly sex. This is a red flag) When you ask him if he loves you, he sais yes and when you mention break-up, he is against it. (it's normal you would want to breakup, he stopped being the guy he used to be. You are remembering how he used to be, and if it doesn't match how he is now then it'll cause you to feel disconnection, like he doesnt care about you or loves you. If he has energy to be against the breakup then he should do things to prevent it such as being the guy you fell in love with) But the ignorance continues, you are not even trying to send him a message anymore, because you feel like you're bothering him. When you claim that you should have at least one date per week he agrees, but only because you said so. (In here you are trying to communicate with him, voice your concerns which is a great things to do, it communicates you love him, but he isn't really listening, so this makes you feel like your feelings and concerns are not being acknowledge, understood and heard so it makes you to not want to reach out to him. It's like his behavior its pushing you away in an attempt to protect your heart from further pain and hurt. You are telling him what to do to keep the relationship going, but its unfortunate he isn't listening). Again, he sais he wants to see you, but it just doesnt feel right. The only thing that feels right is his touch. And that's the most confusing thing here. (He says he wants to see you, but it's communicating it with his action and words.) How could the guy love you so much with his touch and ignore everything else that you are. (Well in here I could tell you are not feeling loved by him, it's like he is focus on the physical part rather than the bond and connection part. He is also not focusing on the romance side of things, on you as a person, not making you feel special, heard, understood and safe which is important). Is it maybe just because he is so introverted, that all his relationships are mainly physical? Or is it really because he just lost interest in you as person but cant detach from you physically? Could someone please explain it to me? (He sounds like a guy who is mostly interested in sex at this moment in time, it's like everything it's about that when it comes to him. This has nothing to do with being introverted, this has to do with him focusing on sex and having zero clue about relationship and how women are when it comes to dating. He lacks a lot of knowledge when it comes to these things, there also some sort of emotional issues he might have from his childhood)