I miss my friend
I broke up with my fiancé last month. We had been long distance for a year and it was becoming obvious, among other things, that he had no real plans to move and relocate to be with me and I wasn't in love with him anymore. I signed up for some dating sites and just happened to meet someone fantastic really fast. Then the pandemic started. My parents had been out of the country and I didn't want to live with them while they quarantined so I decided to try staying with this guy (now my BF) for the two weeks after they got home. It's been safe to go home for two weeks now but I'm still happy living here. I know it sounds crazy.
I don't regret leaving my fiancé. I had come to resent him so much that I was avoiding his calls. Here's what makes me sad: I had hoped (probably naively) that one day we could be friends again. Since the breakup he has shown himself to be manipulative and vindictive. I have also come to some big realizations about our relationship and how manipulative he was the whole time. Unfortunately I've come to the realization that he is not the kind of person I want in my life at all.
Last night I dreamed that we had a conversation on the phone. It wasn't about anything important, just catching up. I'm so tired of fighting with him and being angry with him. I want to just let him go but I keep getting hit with financial consequences and he keeps making up lies and rewriting history to try to get what he wants. It's exhausting.
Hi, im sorry to hear what's happened to you in regards to your relationship previously with your ex finance you were with. Was not easy. I guess your still married so with the financial side of things your trying to get his help and support which isn't working is that right? I think you should get financial support from someone like from the bank, a money adviser or your letting agent. Someone like you. You maybe doing it already and that's good. Just know you shouldn't have to face this alone to get the money owed to you. I know I don't know about your situation so easy said but this might be an option if you asked me or anyone. Not experts. Again I don't know if you lived with him but if not still think about getting support from him or money adviser person.
It's good to know that you are in a good place hopefully now and you can now try building your relationships again and with this new guy also. I'm glad to see that he has made you happy and someone you been looking for this time since alots happened. Has you new bf been understanding with it and is he able to help you cope and manage? What's his life like?
I don't know if you said you have children but I'm sure your children are the ones who are getting you to keep moving forward and that's good. Have you spoken to your family since also
I know relationships can end really badly and your ex seems to really be angry but people deal with it differently. We all have grudges or things what don't settle down with us in a relationship. This might just be his way of coping and dealing with it. Don't think too much of it. It's having to deal with the relationship what was wrong. Not your fault.
Your lucky and guess grateful to be allowed back home. This pandemic has affected alot of people including you. What are your plans? If you like where you are why don't you go back home and think about it or sorek to your parents. Do they know your happy there? I know alots changed since then and your in a different situation but to resolve the issues you have and focus on what's important right now which is where you were back home. Not to say you can't have a future with this guy. He sounds like someone you like.
If you need any support were here but just don't make any rash choices until you got yourself in a good place and you sorting it out with your ex on the finances and stuff.
Hope that helps
@TreaureSeekers3 I don't have kids. He and I lived together for 6 years. We moved halfway across the country three years ago so he could go to grad school after he lost his job. For the last three years I was the only one who held down a job. I paid for the move (not cheap). Three years later he hasn't successfully made it through his first year of school.
I moved back home last year to open a business. I've been living with my parents since I left and they are helping me to open my shop.
I don't need any financial support from my ex, but he takes zero responsibility for anything and I'm left holding the bag. We financed a purchase together and while he gets to keep the item, he takes no responsibility for paying it off. I told him I'll give the ring back when I get the last of my belongings back from him. He refuses to ship my stuff back. He wants me to give my engagement ring to his father who's getting ready to go to prison for theft. He stole from countless people including me and I'll have no part in helping him pay back what he stole.
I am 100% sure my ex thinks I cheated on him. I met my new BF a week after we broke up. I know how it looks from the outside and I get why he's hurt. I've also had some time to reflect on our relationship and have realized how badly he treated me, so it's not just that his feelings are hurt. I miss his sense of humor sometimes but he's told so many lies I don't see how I could ever be his friend again.
Well I'm sorry to hear that there seem to be unresolved issues still with the future prospects you had planned with him with the situations not properly resolved is an issue itself something you both can't work together on. It maybe you can't get on but I'm sure you both wanted this resolved and to move on.
With your ex feeling a certain way you need to respect that this was not gonna be a walk in the park. This may be an ongoing issue which only forcing legal action is the way forward but I don't know. It's about what the investment was at the time you brought this. You need to know your rights cuz if you know where they are your get what's owed. I'm not saying go to court or get lawyers. I don't know your situation but if you don't have no choice maybe.
In a way it's good you didn't have kids. That would of got tricker so that's just lucky on the situation too without dealng child care stuff or rights but I know you wouldn't want that to happen.
Have you spoken to your mum and dad? Are they able to help? Do you have help from them in your finances? If you don't that's ok. Don't expect to. It's good you can do this on your own. Brave but reaching out for help dont make you any weaker.
So I suppose if you have a way to get the money back and someone who can help with money or not you can get this solved. With the ring give it you are right to just give it back to your ex. Why would have it any other way.
Just remember you may be in a better place now but that don't mean everything should be alright now you are and your head is straight. It takes those around you longer to catch up so for your ex to react like that is in his rights to deal with how he feels just like you did. You respect him and how he feels. He's grieving too he is a human at and a guy just like rest of them and you remain sival and not hurt him anyone. You stay away and do what you need to do. Have no contact with him only for this. Not at his interest to know who your with. Just leave him and do the right thing. Get your help from your parents and a friend. Even legal aid.
Sorry if that's much help