I'm married and pregnant with another man
First of all, thank you so much for reading my post. English is not my first language so please don't mind for mistakes .
I'm married for 20 years. First 10 years of my marriage was fine. we've got 3 beautiful children, who are now 19, 15 and 13.
While the kids were so small,my husband went to another country to work. There he met a woman, who he fell in love with. I was living with his mom at the time. My family didn't give me any kind of support, because it's a shame to get divorce. My hometown is a small place where everyone knows everyone. Only advice I get was " he will come back"..
He stayed with that woman for 3 years,and after she dumped him,he came back to me and kids. I didn't have anywhere to go,so I took him back. Got panic attacks and depression,ended on antidepresives. Kept living like that, without feelings for him,but I gave him everything he wanted.
He found a job in another country again, said that he will find apartment for us,that kids and me can come. But that never happened. He got bone cancer. Operated,and thank God,it was on time,but he can't work that kind of job anymore.
Last year I came to that county,to earn more money.left my kids with grandparents. I couldn't live with him because he had roomates. So I stayed with my sister. Started to work, found an apartment for us,to bring my kids..
And I met a man.. fell in love.. got pregnant.. i decided to keep the baby..
I admit to my husband everything. He ended in mental hospital, shizofrenic. My whole family don't accept it.
My kids too . I love that man, but I decided to give him a baby right after the birth. I'll stay with my family. It hurts so much. I know that everything is my fault. But it hurts
the reactions are different as you would guess by different cultures.....
it seems a big sacrifice to a marriage having been apart so much and i think if i was in your shoes i would be lonely and meeting someone to really love must have felt amazing ...
is not really any different then your husband living with a woman for years while you lived with his family...and raised his kids... but that seems to have been just wait and accepted while yours not seen as OK ...
Thank you so much for replying me..
It felt amazing,but I'm pushing it back because I don't want to hurt my kids.. at the same time I'm gonna hurt my new baby giving him.. even my mother want me to do that, because it would hide this shame I'm gonna couse to all of my family, which don't care what I feel..
Hi dear, your story is so moving..
I don't know where you are coming from because there so much culture around that planet and every country is different.
I just wanted to tell you that life is too short to care about what your small town thinks.. you are a brave woman who had been through a lot and deserve to be happy. You have your kids and that's a power that keeps you fighting for them and keep you go on.
I know it is hard to be a single mother, but i think is better than keep waiting for a man who doesn't love you to come back when he finished with his love adventures..
Be strong and let no one use you. If you really need take your children and move to a bigger city or a different country. The world is full of opportunities.
Your family didn't support you and won't do it .. it's not their fault..you have to understand that they grew up like this..in that mentality.. but you have to think about yourself... We don't choose our families it just happened to be born in that family..just luck.. but you choose the path you follow in life.
Take care and be strong