Introduce yourself to the 7 Cups Breakup & Divorce Community - December!

I am thankful that this community is going to exist. I feel weird for having to be here, but maybe being apart of a community will help me. I guess for me.. here is my story.

I fell in love with someone who was my best friend. I loved him dearly and we had an unofficial relationship because he never would actually commit to being in a relationship with me. I loved him to the point that I would have married him. He knew this, but it didn't feel right to him to be in the relationship. So it never was official. He eventually told me he never saw a relationship with me.. and we have stayed friends since. In the months following him telling me that, he got in a relationship with another friend of mine. He has now been dating her for almost a year. It will be a year at the end of the month. I am actually close friends with both of them. It is a beautiful blessing to still be close with them both, but is heartbreakingly difficult at the same time. They are planning a wedding and he will propose within the next two years. He is mainly waiting on her timing. I have tried to get over him, and it has been almost a year and a half. Most times I feel I have made no progress. Everyone else has given up on me ever getting over him. So.. I guess that is my story. Hopelessly in love with someone I'll never have.. as I stand to the side and befriend them both.

So.. hello. :)

Hi all. I am a 45 year old woman grappling with the fact that my 16 year marriage is likely to finally end. My husband and I have been struggling for a long time and I am finally starting to accept that he really does not have the emotional capability to be loving. We have two wonderful daughters, ages 10 and 14. Our marriage began to deteriorate after the birth of the first child and I am filled with guilt and shame that no matter what I did I couldn't give my daughters a home environment filled with love and support between the parents....

We are separated now--for the second time in the past few years. At the moment the girls live in the family home and my husband and I take turns "living out" in a two bedroom apartment a short distance away. Strangely enough he and I do a fine job of agreeing about money, house keeping, kid responsibilities, yard work, etc. and sharing the residences in this way has been amazingly smooth. But the emotional part of the marriage is an absolute shambles and has been for a long time. I am devastated and terrified and feel utterly alone. I am normally a very outgoing and social person but since the separation in October I am so sad and ashamed of failing in my marriage that I am unable to turn to my friends, who have been hearing about the sad state of my marriage for a long time. So I'm glad this venue is here... I could use some support. Thanks.

Hi my name is simone. I am 18 and Ive lived with my bf for 9 months.. I am still very much In lovewith him. I have one up with him because he he used to hit me. And recently he was talking to another woman. Telling her that he was going to move to Florida with her.. I was angry and hurt. I feel like I pushed him to do these things... I accused and accused until he actually did it. The thing is I still love him very much and I wish we could go back tobeing the same. I remember the way he used to look at me... It was so full of love. Everyone seen it everyone would congratulate me. He is still a gentlemen after the breakup.. I Tried to fix it with him but he was old me its for the best for both of us.. I Kno he's right but I'm still heart broken.. He is very ambitious and I know that he doesn't want to be tied down anymore. I'm just scared that we will never have a chance again.. I've lost so many people in my life.. He's told me that we just need time and he said he would wait for me.. I'm moving to springs and I hope he really means this.. He tells me he still loves me and that he is sorry. I told him I forgive him because i love him. I just need inspirTion because my heart is too broken to focus on whatI have to do. I have to go get my GED get a job and figure out what I want to do with my life. Fill out my fafsa and take care of some legal issues and cash out money from another state..

Ik. I'm way to young for this anyway. Yesterday I was in a bad headspace but I feel better today. I just look to deep into things. We can't be together right now. And I just gotta deal with that. My life isn't over I've justlived with him too long.. My friend kaylee and I have plans to finish our education together. She's been my friend for years. I'm glad I have that support.

Okay so my husband and I have a son together who Will turn two in a month. We separated a year ago. In march I met a guy, he was a gentleman and everything. But we both we just separating from our spouse's months prior and decided we were going to be just friends. Well the friends part turned into more but was not a problem for me I just need companionship. Well in july I found out I was pregnant with his child. He wanted me to get an abortion which i dont believe in. I later found out the he was accused by his eldest daughter of molesting her. Now he has been alone with my son and not once has he done anything to him and my son adores him.. now the daughter that we both share can quite possibly not get the chance to know her dad until she is 3 or 4. Oh top it all off the girl said she lied on him. I don't know how to feel or how to go about my life with his daughter. . Im really depressed everytime I see him though I try to hide it

Hello, I'm not sure what I'm looking for by coming here, I'm just sick of burdening my friends and family with my upset especially at this time of year. I'm sorry this might be a long intro. My boyfriend officially broke up with me 8 days ago and I just feel so lost and frightened. We were together 7.5 years, living together the last 2. We've had some problems this year, before that we were very happy had the occasional moment but even were very much in love. From around January I was struggling. My work life was all going wrong and he and I have never been the best at having serious conversations. There was a lot I wanted to tell him but didn't, I tried but maybe not in the right way or whatever and I got frustrated. I thought perhaps it would be best to end things, i still loved him but I was feeling like such a terrible nag and getting snippy, if I didn't do something I feared he'd leave me. I know I have very low self esteem and am insecure. I moved back to my parents, I was gone 2 weeks. I hated every second we were apart. I went out with friends tried to discover a little bit about me but ultimately he was where I wanted to be, he wanted me back, loved me, we could work it out together. A few months later in the summer it felt like nothing had changed, we were so complacent with each other, I thought he didn't want me anymore. I tried to talk to him about it but again maybe I went about it the wrong way. I got so drunk one night I blacked out, he told me I said hurtful things and that I hated him (I only found this out a few weeks ago and was very upset, those things are not true I don't know why I'd say them). Since the summer he had been feeling unwell, stomach problems, racing heart, I was trying to be supportive and I asked him was there anything he wanted to discuss, was it caused by us. He said no, maybe it was something he ate. I renewed my investment in our relationship making a lot of positive changes for us, I know I can be difficult to talk to I am emotional and hot headed at times which is a total contrast to him, I started to see a counsellor through work to help work on my insecurity issues. He knew I was making changes to work on our relationship. In September he started on anti anxiety tablets, he changed and became incredibly distant, cold. He kept going for tests on his stomach convinced he had a medical problem, on a couple of occasions I told him i thought it was about us but he said it wasn't. He started to become even more distant staying up late on his computer games, falling asleep there instead of coming to bed.in bed he would stay far away from me, I'd hug him but he wouldn't respond. The kisses, cuddles and playing around disappeared. I thought he was worried about his stomach problems. When we were hanging our Christmas decorations at the start of December he kept going into another room to use his phone, he told me he was going to see his friend that night, I knew it was a lie, I don't know how it's just he never lies and it's always been obvious. I panicked realising why he'd been cold and distant. I don't recall how I knew his Facebook password, I've never been on it before but I logged onto his Facebook and saw that he was messaging another woman, arranging to go to her house that night. He was putting it off by the look of it, again I panicked. How could he do this? Who was this person in our house suddenly lying and cheating? We argued all night, I cried, he told me he loved me, he wanted to work it out, he had only been talking with her a few weeks. Soon after I found out he was still messaging her, it's easy to talk to her apparently, she was helping him with his anxiety. He didn't appear to care at all the hurt he was causing, I was devastated to my core. I was deeply hurt, reacted very badly, packed his stuff and threw him out of our jointly owned home. He was like a zombie, I thought it was his tablets for anxiety causing this change. He was lying to his family, belittling them, they didn't recognise him either. He told me he was confused and didn't know what he wanted. Then after a few more days gave me the I hope we can still be friends speech. Again I reacted poorly. I was so hurt I wanted to shake him and find out what had happened, why was he doing this. Apparently he'd been thinking of leaving for a while, since the summer. He was waiting until after the holidays. It was so hurtful and cruel. His family were as devastated as me. Now he is commencing a relationship with this new woman and wants me to sell our home. I've told him I'm not happy to do that and need time to decide if I will take it on or not. It's a big decision that I cant rush, it is the home we made together I don't want to leave it but don't know if I want to stay in the memories. I'm trying the no contact rule and have deleted him, his friends, family from my Facebook. I am hoping that by cutting him off as much as I can I will find out what I truly want and be able to heal. It hurts so much that he could do this, I would take him back in a heartbeat although I know that would be foolishto rush back into it . He was the man I planned to marry and raise a family with he was my best friend and i was his. I'm going through a lot of emotions and my future plans are all gone which is scary, I know everyone has been through a break up at some point but I'm sick of being told chin up, you'll get through this. I don't even knew what I'm asking for, just comments, another perspective, human contact

Hi everyone! I read through all of the introductions and I can feel the same pain and frustration from you guys as I feel in myself.

I don't know if I'm in the right place, though. I'm not being broken up with and I don't think it's mutual. I feel like I'm the one leaving the relationship a little at a time. And I feel selfish and cruel but I don't think we're in love like we need to be to make this marriage work. And yet, I care about him and don't want to leave him flat on his face. I know we're going two very different directions and I don't want to continue to follow down his path. You see, in the past few years I've discovered a wonderful passion within myself and big dreams of what I want for the future - including children, a nice family. He doesn't seem to have any passions in life except doing things that a teenager would do (smoking, sleeping until noon, taking 5 hour naps, not eating well, etc) and I don't think those things are healthy for me anymore. At first, it was nice to be with someone who was still "young at heart" but now it's gottento the point where I feel like his mother. I have become the proverbial nag in the relationship and I don't even nag him like I would like to. Sure, he's a good provider, but I don't get help with housework. He tells me he'll help but I need to tell him what I want done, as if I'm his manager. And I'm so lonely. I can't talk to him about things because he becomes defensive if they're about him and dismissive if they're about me. "You shouldn't feel that way about such-and-such." Well, I do. And he doesn't laugh at any jokes I make and says he doesn't laugh because he doesn't want me to think I'm funny. I just think he doesn't get my jokes. And I'm not even going to go into details on the physical relationship. I just don't feel an attraction or desire to be close like that. That could be because I want kids and I know how hard he tries to avoid even coming close to the idea of them.

But I'm just feeling all sorts of anxious and down about it lately. It's taking my attention from my job and my coworkers don't understand. They think that if he's such a good guy otherwise I should just make it work and be happy.

I was with my partner for just over 10 years. Towards the end he was so controlling. We moved to a new area and I was forced to give up all my friends bar a couple of them as he got so jealous. He didnt like me going out soI stopped.

Long story short he has decided he wants to be with my best friend. So I have lost everyone in my life. And it hurts so badly. I know he treated be badly at the end but the pain is so awful, I feel like I cant face the world. I haven't eaten, slept or been able to leave the house in days. I am agrophobic anyway and now I have nothing left. I am so lonely, sad and heartbroken. And i feel so foolish to cry nonstop over a man who neither loved me or treated me well. All the while telling me as we split how amazing my so called best friend was.S

So I lost them both and I am alone and sad. I just hope I can pull through the pain is just awful.

My name is Kash. My experience comes from a really bad break up with a person who I had a relationship for 4 1/2 years. This was the most horrible yet, most invigorating experience I had, and I thank God everyday for it. I do not want to go into too much details, but if you want to know how I overcame everything, please feel free to message me.

My boyfriend of 4years broke up with me, I'm completely devastated especially since he wants children and well, I'm unable to have any. I don't hate him, I want to, especially since he knew from the beginning i wasn't able to have kids but we where younger and well when you hit your 30's your way of thinking changes. He broke up with me by saying that he wants children, that he is sorry and it was a hard decision for him, and he doesn't blame me for hating him. I couldn't speak, I knew that this might happen, I saw the hints, i was hoping I was wrong, but i wasn't... Im at an age where all my friends are getting married or just now having children and it hurts beacuse I'll never be able to have a family of my own. And although I'm surrounded by great friends and family I'm avoiding them, it hurts too much to see what i can never have. I really feel useless, as though i have no purpose and this is not a feeling that i just got from this breakup, since my early 20's when i found out i couldn't have kids i was pretty sad about it, but i thought id be ok when that time came, i guess im not. Sorry if this was long