I think the breakup is changing who I am as a person.

@OrlandoKlyn

Hey there, hopefully you are doing well about your breakup. I was devasted a few times when it comes to interaction with some women, to me anything didn't make sense at all. In the past a woman would back away if i gave her everything, then would not back away if i didn't give much, so I had to really work hard to understanding by reading and watching videos, and everything was not like how I thought it was before. There's a few things I would like to point out;

I think the breakup is changing the way I am as a person regarding to what I used to believe before, I'm in the recovering process and I know it will take a long time to recover from a relationship that was for 5 years (It sounds like a long term relationship, this ones definetly take longer time to heal because of the history you two have together, the memories, and everything you did together. The separation anxiety starts to kick in, so many questions without answers and other things). , But the thing is I'm starting to see things from different prospective now to how I was before, Like I see that we men's when we really fall in love and give love,care,and respect we don't do it cheap, we really give it all we have but now I see that this isn't what women's wants, (Well they actually do want a man who shows them love and respect, but it depends on how things are going on the relationship. If she feels like you need her more than she needs you then it's going to make her back away slowly which will cause a lot of men to go after her. There's also when the man contacts her first more than what she does so it makes her feel unsure and confused. There's also a chance the man didn't really listen to her, potential attachment traumas between both people which can also cause one side to push away the other. There's also when the men its investing so much on the relationship, while she isn't as much so this might cause her to back away and many other things). because they run away from the man who give them it all, (This depends on the level of comfort and safety, sometimes a guy does too much so it tends to communicate negative things at times without him realizing, so then she feels off and backs away, the problem is that the woman might not be able to fully explain it detail by detail why they are doing this, but more than likely they feel smoothered, so they begin to test). And they go to the one who give them the little, I don't know how it works but I started to see that those men's who are a bit cold with women's and doesn't give much away is the ones who get the women's to want them more (Women usually want someone who is a challenge, mysterious, someone who they can't have their way with, someone they need to work hard to keep. The cold part makes them think that the guy is centered and indifferent which causes attraction, but after awhile they begin to realize that the cold part might have to do with something bad, and not with confidence). And maybe those kind of men's has once gave it their all and didn't end up well with that so they've turned that way, Women's usually asking for men's to give them their all, and some will say ''You was just with the wrong person" (When a women say that it communicates that either he did something to turn off, was looking too much for validation, trying to prove himself, not acting confident, bringing the relationship topic too early so it also makes them say "There's no chemistry".) But I don't see it that way, I just started to see myself as the one who didn't figure it out until too late, how to move on while feeling this way is the hardest and painful part, (Breakups are one of the most painful things to go through, it feels like the pain and hurt will never end, its pretty much like a struggle everyday when it comes to this. Unfortunetly they don't teach much about how relationship and attraction) I don't want to hurt anyone just because I got hurt before and I don't want that my previous relationship to effect on me as a person and changing who I am, (it sounds like you are concious about this, it communicates you are caring person who cares about others). I mean yeah there's some acceptable changing for the best but there's some other is actually changing my believes and my faith in humanity, (These kind of things actually affect the recovery time of the breakup because sometimes perspective of people changes, and they might become afraid of getting hurt again so then they lose faith in other people. The best way to see this is that just because a few people hurt you doesn't mean the whole humanity will do the same). I'm trying to really move on and I know it will take time and I'm willing to do anything to be a better person and also to show to myself and her that I'm a fighter person and worth to be respected and worth to be waiting for, (You don't need to show her anything, or prove to her anything. What counts its that you are willing to do whatever it takes to overcome this breakup, showing your true strength and courage throughout this so you can turn into an even better person after this). but just don't want the down monents that I get through my recover process to effect on me as a person anyone got idea how to? (There's a song i fell in love with, the most important quote was "I stopped asking, and stoppped looking for answers. I heard my own voice and the direction changed. Starting all over taught me the power of forgiveness. I was once overwhelm but against the wind I was able to get up on my feet once more"