I want to get back with my ex, but he is over it
Okay well my and my now ex boyfriend had been dating for a little over a year. From the beginning, we kind of fought a lot. We would fight over stupid little jealousy things. I am a very insecure person, so I get jealous when I don't mean to. I get super insecure when other girls are around because he is a naturally flirty person. Although he doesnt treat guys and girls differently, he just likes to joke around a lot. So I always start fights about it, but then I realize I am being kind of crazy and he isn't actually flirting with these people. He's never cheated on me. Since I always start so many fights though, he does things such as deleting all of his texts with other girls. He says he does it so I dont get mad over a pointless conversation, but then it only makes me worry more. I have asked him to stop and he says he will, but never does. I even said that I cannot get mad about it since he would actually be doing what I asked. Anyways, the other night we went out to a bar with some friends. We ended up getting in some stupid little fight, and just kind of not talking the rest of the night. I drank too much so I told him I was going to walk home. On my way out, the bartender (one of his friends) told me not to leave because I was too drunk to go by myself. So I ended up sitting at the bar with one of his old friends from high school ( a girl), and we just talked and danced with each other. Well he got really mad when he found out I didn't actually go home because he was sitting at a table by himself drinking, while I was talking at the bar. The next morning he said he couldn't do it anymore. The fighting was too much for him and that I really disrespected him at the bar. So he said we were officially breaking up. We had taken a break for like two days the week before, but then got in a stupid fight when we went out to that bar. I really don't want things to be over, but he says he does. I have tried pouring my heart out to him, and he just says he doesn't think things will ever change. I don't think any fight with him is worth breaking up over. I also think that it is something that can change. I need to find a way to get over my insecurities, but I think that can be changed. He also has said that he needs to stop making the fights a bigger deal than they are. Like if I ask who some girl is, he shouldn't get really mad at me and it should just be a simple conversation. I just think things can be different. Any advice?
Hi girl... I know what you did and why you did...you just needed more love and support in your way and he was doing in his way......Now litsen to me very carefully. ..bit hard to understand because you think its your mistake always well its not ...you didn't disrespected him at all ...you were seeking his attention which he didnt give and you took it all ...if he really loved you if would have known what you need......let's just dont worry ...u r perfect
When he broke up with me he said he still loved me and that he would probably come to regret it, but he was done with it. We have talked some since breaking up, and he says he just doesn't think anything will change. He said he wants the breakup and that if we were to ever get back together, then things would really change. I know it is going to take time, but should I get my hopes up that we may have a chance in the long run of getting back together? He also said that he wants to be friends with me still and that he hopes he will see me again soon. He wants to keep talking, but that I have to realize it really over. Now that we aren't together, am I allowed to ask him if he is going to be having other girls over? Or is that crossing a boundary? I don't want to start a fight about it, I just think that if I know he is with other girls, it is going to make it seem more official. It will show me that he is really done and doesn't care anymore
I'm in the same position. When my boyfriend broke up with me a week ago, he said that he still "loves me", but just can't see us being a relationship anymore. I'm not sure how long you guys have been dating but i can definitely say this: he isn't worth it. If you really liked him, but he doesn't want it, then there's no reason to wait for it. Move on. I just realized this today. If you did cry for him, then just know that it isn't going to help anything. If your boyfriend doesn't want to be with you or in a relationship in general, then there's no point in waiting for him. Move on, and maybe you'll find someone who does love you and someone who wouldn't ever break up with you for no legit reason. Move on sweetheart, it isn't worth the wait , because you'll only end up hurting yourself even more.
I haven't eaten or gotten out of bed for two days. I sit here and cry. I don't even want to be around people because I know I'm going to end up crying. That's what kills me most too is that I'm really upset, and he has just been hanging out with his roommates and neighbors since we broke up. I mean he said he saw it coming so that's why he wasn't so upset, but we dated for a year. I just can't get over officially losing him. I want him by my side. People keep saying I deserve better, but he really was great to me. I thought he was the one I would marry. He told me he wanted to marry me and that there was something different about me. That's why I want to wait. I want to give it some time, but that is only for the hopes that maybe he will want me back. It's not even for sure going to happen.
I sound so pathetic, I just want him back so bad. I don't know if its helping or hurting that he is still talking to me and wants to be friends. Like he specifically said that he still wants to talk, but that I have to understand its over, which it is really hitting me that its not just a fight this time. I don't get to have him back
I feel your pain baby girl. I thought my man was the one too. But he ended it, and now there's nothing we can do about it. Honestly, crying isn't going to help anything. But it's the best way to let out your feelimgs, and right now crying may seem like the best thing to do. Cry til you can't cry no more. But you need to get out of bed, doll yourself up and show him what exactly He is missing out on. Show him what he left behind. But don't do it for him. Do it for yourself, dress yourself up, and boost up your confidence. Even though you are hurting, show him that its not hurting you. You really need to lift your head up and smile and show everyone that you can get through this.
<3 Darling, your feelings are justified and normal. And your insecurity was justified, too -- your feelings are feelings, and you felt insecure for a reason. A mature man would also try to empathize with you when you feel insecure! I'm sure he felt a lot for you, and given that he loves you, it probablyhurt for him to see you hurting so much. But he also wasn't mature enough to process your feelings of insecurity -- he got overwhelmed by it instead.
But what if you could justknow your inherent value and know that you're worth coming back to? What if you just knew that you are so awesome to be in a relationship with that no matter what pretty faces he sees throughout the day, he'll always want to come back to you? I'm trying to rewire my thoughts about myself in this way. And sometimes, I will feel insecure. So long as I express these feelings in a mature way, someone who loves me shouldn't run away from them.
Also, don't feel ashamed that you want him back. You just have sooo much love in your heart and that's a beautiful thing. :-) And you deserve every bit of love you give to the world, so long as you feel deserving of it.
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I hope I can help with your problem, because I'm kinda going through the same thing. I was with my ex-girlfriend for 2 years and we fought for many stupid reasons. She always told me change or do things for her and if I didn't do them then apparently I didn't love her. Long story short I did a lot for her but she wasn't into the relationship anymore. Point is, she lost interest and care for me and our relationship. Your Ex has probably lost interest and you've got to move on even though it may seem extremely difficult trust me you will find someone who wants to be with you and is willing to stick with you through thick and thin. The right person will come along.
Actually, rereading this post he seems inconsiderate? While I'm sure you could do more in terms of strengthening your self esteem and feeling great about yourself, I think he's the one who has maturing to do. You were being fine, and yes, him deleting the texts is concerning. While it is his own privacy, some frankness and openly telling you who he's talking to is always best. Everyone feels insecure sometimes -- sure some do more than others, but no one would feel secure and safe with a partner who behaved like that.
I don't think you disrespected him at the bar -- also, why does it make sense to have you walk home alone when you're too drunk...? He should have been attending to you. The bar incident seems like such a minor offense, definitely not breakup worthy.
He may come around, but please rest assured that you need not do anything to win him over again -- he didn't treat you right, IMO. He may have been a good guy, but that's besides the point.