Long breakup
My girlfriend broke up with me due to her mental health. She claims she wants to be with me still, but since she can’t be there for me at the moment or come up with the energy to spend time with me anymore, she ended things. I felt her slowly drifting apart from me for about a year now, she never spent time with me, missed my birthday/holiday, and just used every excuse in the book. She kept asking for space, which I was giving her as much as I possibly could without getting upset myself about things. Over time it wore on me, we just never did anything ever and I called her out and kept calling her out for it. I quite frankly was pissed because I kept putting in 100% effort and was given none in return.
so anyway, she broke up with me and explained her situation which I completely understand!! I just don’t get why it had to last so long and hurt me so much 😭😭😭
she says she wants to ultimately get back together and get back to the way things used to be but I don’t even know if I believe that is possible… also, what if this happens again?? I just don’t wanna wait around for ever you know what I mean? I love her to death and would do anything for her, but it has been 2 months and I just don’t know when it is the right time to try to move on because it isn’t going anywhere. I keep having these breakdowns and texting her to see if her plans to get back together are still in place but she gets upset when I do that and says it “resets” her healing process.
like I really don’t know what to do
@Bl14therapy Gosh that sounds like a very very difficult time for you both. I understand how difficult it'd have been for her distancing, asking for space and feeling like she didn't put the effort. It reminds me of my ex- he was having issues and distancing a lot. I hear you, it is not easy to go through at all and I am here for you. Her using excuses and distancing so much is unjustifiable and it is totally alright for you to have a lot of overwhelming emotions.
Thank you so much, logically I feel like I need to be trying to move on, is it wrong for me look for other “options” while still having the intention of trying with her if she comes around to it?
@Bl14therapy It is a very conflicting situation on your part. It is understandable to have feelings for her and not be willing to give up completely on the hope that you two might get together...but is looking for options your way of moving on? Or trying to move on? It is alright to be conflicted...as long as you are being honest to yourself about your feelings and taking a call only when ready.
I see what you mean, it’s going to take a lot of mental preparation on my part whatever I decide to do
She's cheating, move on sorry
@intuitiveField8295 thank you so much for being here, replying to posts and supporting others, I really appreciate it. However a gentle reminder we do not make assumptions or give direct advice. Just a little something to keep in mind while offering support, and thank you again for being here.
She’s not the type to cheat, but trust me I have thought that
you are a good person for trying your best to stay loyal to a person who may be having a mental health crisis. in my humble opinion, she has grown distant and broken up this relationship to work on her life, but does not want you to move on as she has. from what i can see, she is manipulating you by avoiding the promise she made to get back together with you. by framing your simple questions as disrespect toward her recovery process, she avoids any and all accountability.
as someone who has gone thru this very situation many times, the only next logical step is to move on. its so very difficult to do, especially if you are still in contact with the ex, but staying and staying loyal to someone who is this harmful for your soul is much more painful than moving on.
You are absolutely right!! It is just so confusing for me because it was literally my dream relationship up until this started happening and we have been together 3 years :/
